Sunday, November 15, 2009

1989 - The year that defined today's world

What was going on in your world in 1989? 1989 was the year the Berlin wall came down, the Word Wide Web began, the oil spill of the Exxon Valdez, and the Tienanman Square massacre. I am sure I have neglected to mention other important events. When I read this in Time magazine last night, it brought back memories of 1989 for me. I too felt my world had changed - and not for the better. In May 1989 my ex remarried. He had been my best friend, despite our divorce 3 years before. His remarriage meant the true end of our relationship. One week later, my only brother was killed in an auto accident. I was living in a city I disliked more every day. I was in a relationship that was not going anywhere. I have heard it said that when one door closes, another opens. Twenty years later, I realize the truth of that saying. Toward the end of 1989, I decided I needed to move. I did move in 1990 to a city where I met John, my husband. I also found some new friends and a job I loved. I also found a great therapist there who helped me put myself back together. So, I have some questions of my old and new friends here on Carol's wonderful blog: Is there a year or a time in which your world changed? What was going on in your life in 1989? Did any of us realize the changes the WWW would bring in our lives?

127 comments:

Coreen said...

Bravo Jan!

And you have provided more food for thought or
as Carol would likely say much to ponder.

Carol said...

Congratulations Jan! I will have to do some serious pondering to remember what I was doing that year. They don't all come back that easily.

Coreen said...

Some left over thoughts from earlier.

Carol, you had another minor scare today, but,
it all worked out & after tonite, your team may be the only undefeated left. Peyton Manning v. Tom Brady may decide if your guys stand alone.

Solar said...

Jan,

Nice going, and what I would want to hear from you; is the time that you spent in Argentina...I have had daydreams about moving there; or Australia,or I would love to travel all over the world...

1989, I was going out with this little Italian meatball (meatball as in a good way) named Lisa...she broke my heart...than I start calling her the meatball...the sarcastic way...

I learned how to do a spaghetti sauce from her and her Mother that was half Moji (Croatian) I still make it the same all of these years...and won't tell anyone...my sisters love it..but I won't give it to them...I love teasing them with it.

Coreen said...

Jan,

The angel afghan is knitted, white with an angel embroidered with yarn in the center, it
is done with a duplicate stitch copying the
knit, the angel's gown is blue, wings outlined
in golden yellow, face & feet are pink, hair
is supposed to be blonde, but the little girl
it's for is more reddish, so I'm going to change the hair color. The afghan is done, but
the embroidery is taking a lot of time & then it has to be bordered.

jan said...

Coreen, your afghan sounds gorgeous. I would love to see it when you finish. Please take a pic and post it. What a great idea to make the angel's hair similar in color to the little girl you are making it for. What a lovely gift. Sounds like a labor of love.

Coreen said...

Solar,

Always thought Seinfeld characters were the
best example of self-absorbed people.

And what is this 'meatball'!!!!....
remember my origins & my friends that I grew up with were mostly the 'badabing' guys....

jan said...

Coreen, Carol, Solar - thank you for the kind words about my post. I was shaking in my boots - it felt a little like the first time I write an article for publication. Will they like it? Is it a dumb idea? No problem with confidence here??

Coreen said...

Jan, the little girl is my BFF niece's child, who is going to be baptised here in CT sometime
in December, because her dad has been in Iraq,
& actually was scheduled to arrive back home
today in North Carolina.

jan said...

Solar, I lived in Argentina in the mid 1960's. I was in my mid 20's. I loved living in another country. Lived there 3 years. I had 2 little boys 3 & 4 years old when I moved there and had a baby boy while living there. I wish I had worked more on my Spanish now and seen more of Argentina.

The one belief I have - as a result of living in Argentina is that we have no right to tell people in other countries how to run their country/government or live their lives. We are so arrogant in the U.S. to believe that our way is the only or best way.

Solar said...

Coreen,

Her mother made the best fried meatballs in the neighborhood...they called her "their little meatball" so did I...not the slang street thing..pet name that they hung on her..she was just like you in one way tho....

Coreen said...

And Jan, I don't know that I could
identify any particular moment that has changed my life...

All in all, I would have to say that I have been pretty fortunate & I really have never
thought much about why things happen, I just
do. One of my mottos has always been "only the strong survive" & you just keep going forward.

jan said...

Coreen, I hope the little girl's dad is home from Iraq for good. I started to say "lucky little girl" because of the lovely afghan you are making for her, but I will wait on that thought to hear more about her dad. Again, a lovely gift you are giving her.

Coreen said...

"she was just like you in one way tho...."

And Solar, that would be?

jan said...

Ivy, we've missed you today.

Solar said...

Jan,

In one 100% agreement with you about minding our own business. This policy that we have of our (foreign ) has got to stop; or we will wind up just like Brittan, and Russia did..broke..

Solar said...

oooops gotta go now..later.!

Coreen said...

Jan,

When you feel like tell us more about Argentina.

From now on, maybe you are our Girl from Ipanema (poetic license since I know that's Brazil)

I need to go now, enjoy your evening.

jan said...

"1989, I was going out with this little Italian meatball (meatball as in a good way) named Lisa...she broke my heart."

Solar, she taught you to make a sauce that you still make today- this was something very special that she left with you - it was a gift, despite the fact that she broke your heart.

jan said...

See ya later alligators.

Carol said...

Yes, where is our Ivy girl? Missed you today Ivy girl!

Carol said...

Coreen, it was more like a major scare with my team. Now I didn't watch the game all that close since I was busy but I did see the end and sweated thru it. I thought we would drum them but noooo.

You do have a preference with tonight's game between the Patriots and the Colts? I have no preference.

Carol said...

I just took my pie crust cinnamon crisp cookies out of the oven. This is the first time I ever tried to make them. Reminds me of when I was a little girl. I just hope the cinnamon in them wards off the diabetes I'm beggin for with all my eating. I've read that cinnamon has a positive effect on the blood sugar.

Diabetes doesn't run in the family except that mom did have it toward the end of her illness. That was because she was pouring out the cortisol with all her adrenal tumors. It was a secondary diabetes.

Chloe said...

Did you see that? 3:19 and 3:20 (Pacific, of course), Coreen and Solar slipped out of here together. Maybe they're having dinner together, to make up for missing lunch on Friday.

" we have no right to tell people in other countries how to run their country/government or live their lives. We are so arrogant in the U.S. to believe that our way is the only or best way."

Well said, and Great post Jan! Perfect in every way.

Carol said...

Our little Jan turtle is growing up. We're so proud!

Carol said...

When she gets that little baby quilt done, she can put a pic in her post. Graduation Day!

Carol said...

I have to go to Houston next Friday and Saturday for a short CEU thing. I don't wanna go! I'm depressed and distressed about that.

The conference is at the George R. Brown Convention Center. I'm staying at that Hilton there. I just hate driving in Houston. It's a far cry from my little path from the Swamp to the pokey.

Chloe said...

'89? That's the year we made our first move that would eventually lead us here to Houston. We sold our house in S. Ca. that year, after living there 14 yrs, made two more moves in Ca. that were fairly nearby, then moved onto Houston. The rest is history.

And the WWW. I think I started trying to use a computer about 7 or 8 yrs ago, mostly for news and research. A lot of time was used just trying to learn how to use the thing first though. And again, the rest is history.

Jan, Your story is much more interesting than mine. And you've lived so many interesting places. Didn't you say one of them was Montana?

Chloe said...

Carol, Why are you depressed and distressed about it? You mean the traffic? I mean, I won't drive in Houston either, so I'd probably feel the same way. I like using the same beaten path all the time.

The Hilton is a very nice hotel. Why not make the most of it and enjoy your stay.

Carol said...

Ya know I think little Ivy turtle partied too much this last week with all that concert going. I hope they didn't get into any of that stuff they have around those concerts. I wouldn't want to think she is still tripping.

Chloe said...

Carol, Do you have a good GPS on your car, to get you going in the right directions? You are driving, right?

Carol said...

I have to leave my Maggie girl and I don't like all that hustle and bustle. I haven't left town in quite a while now. I don't remember how to drive in confusing places.

Carol said...

No GPS. Why would I need one?? I know my path from here to work to Walmart and all combinations of the above.

Solar said...

Chloe,

"Did you see that? 3:19 and 3:20 (Pacific, of course), Coreen and Solar slipped out of here together. Maybe they're having dinner together, to make up for missing lunch on Friday."


Yep that was the plan. Until she threw me outta the car door while it was moving...seems that she didn't like me calling her my little meatball or something...shhhh what is it with you pinks, and throwing me out of moving vehicles. You tossed me out of a moving pick up and now this huh...what did I do? im..........

Carol said...

You left awful fast there Solman. I was afraid that maybe a bird might have been reading over your shoulder. Any birds?

Solar said...

No that was Coreen, had to make a fast stage left on her. :-))

Chloe said...

I think Ivy has a pretty busy life Carol. A busy lady with a full life.

You know, those hotels all have wireless now. You might want to check ahead of time, to make sure they don't put you on a floor that's too high to get the signal.

I just asked my hubby, and he said we went to an auto show there once, at the GRB (that's what he called it). I'd forgotten that, I guess it's been quite a while. He said it's real nice down there though. He gets around a lot more than I do, because of his work.

Chloe said...

Solar, You get yourself into more trouble. I bet ya when you were a kid, they used to say that trouble was your middle name, huh?

Carol said...

What kind of work does he does Chloe?

Chloe said...

Well, if you're going to be driving in Houston, you need to get yourself a GPS. They're pretty cheap now, and you can use it any time you decide to go somewhere on the spur of the moment. I wouldn't go down there without one, if I were you.

Chloe said...

He's a contractor Carol. Commercial Air Conditioning and Heating. Same as we did in California. The weather here in Houston was made for our business.

Carol said...

It would probably take me more time to figure out how to use it than I have left before I go. I've looked at them before but just couldn't justify buying one. But then I have been lost here in our little town before.

Carol said...

Yes definitely better weather for that in Houston.

Chloe said...

They're simple to use. Once you program in the address you're going to, it does all the work for you from there on out. It has a woman's voice that tells you what to do, when to do it, and to turn around if you went the wrong way. They're worth their weight in gold Carol. I think maybe Magellan is the easiest one to use, from what I understand. I know the one I have is easy, or I'd never be able to use it. Although, I don't much. I'm like you and stay on the beaten path most of the time. But it's there, just in case.

Chloe said...

Then, when you come home, you'll have programmed your home address in it (before you leave) and then on the way back, you just tell it to take you home and it will. Wherever you are, if you 'ever' get lost, you just push 'home'.

Chloe said...

California gets really hot in the summers too Carol. It's just that the economy here was doing better than it was in California before we left. From what I hear, it's still not doing well there. Cost of living here is a lot cheaper than there too. Plus there's been a lot of commercial building going on here for quite a few years now. A lot of people still move here to get work.

Chloe said...

What happened to Solar? You duck out of here again Solar?

Chloe said...

Hey Carol, Maybe you can return that sewing machine and exchange it for a GPS. It's still in the box, right?

Carol said...

Chloe, that sewing machine was purchased several years ago. Too late.

The Solman has to keep flying back and forth to Washington from the Swamp.

Chloe said...

Oooh, You mean TM. He's a globe trotter.

Carol said...

I wonder where would be the best place to get that GPS in this town. We have a Sam's, Walmart and Best Buy.

Chloe said...

All of those, or radio shack.
I don't remember which one they have at Sams. You know what good prices they can have though. If I were looking, I'd start at Best Buy or Radio shack though. So I could ask lots of questions. Then buy it where it's the cheapest. I know you won't get any information at Sams or WM. The people there are rarely knowledgeable about electronics. Best Buy is usually helpful and sometimes radio shack.

Chloe said...

Ok, I'd better do what I need to do to prepare for Monday morning. I'll talk to you more about Houston during the week.

Night.

Carol said...

I guess I could look it up here. I don't need a real expensive one do I? I do want the girl to speak English, maybe a little Cajun accent, no?

Carol said...

Nite Chloe.

Chloe said...

Carol, One last thing.
A really great thing about the GPS's is how they find exact addresses for you. If you're looking for a new address, either business or residence, it takes you right to it. When you're almost there, it tells you which side of the street it's on, everything and when to stop. You'll love the think Carol. Tell them you want an easy one to use, and that you don't need any fancy stuff on it. A basic one will serve your needs just fine.

Chloe said...

thing, you'll love the 'thing' (not think).

Carol said...

Don't worry about the typos Chloe, just makes us thing a little.

Carol said...

You know one thing I find weird in coming here to the Swamp. When I'm here I don't feel like I'm a grown up. I kinda feel like I'm a little kid. A little break from reality.

Ivy Green said...

Wonderful post, Jan, with or without "pitchers" (Hubs makes fun of me for affecting that pronunciation, but I think it's cute, hope I'm not making fun of anybody.)

Late dinner, just finished, another delicious meal by Hubs. I inspire 'em, he cooks 'em. I got him to make one of those "sirloin salads" like they make at one of the western-inspired theme restaurants, Longhorn's, I think it is.

It has been a full weekend, including a surprise visit from "Miss College," so we certainly dropped whatever we were doing for that; tentative discussion about "the future," short- and long-term (when she graduates, so will "Miss College's Cat".) There's a lot of mail coming to the house with graduate school promotional material from places that are too far distant for me to contemplate at the moment. I say, One Day at a Time. Those one days at a time add up all too quickly...1989? That's the year she was 6-to-18 months old. Where did it go?

The visit did prompt me to realize one of the things I can do for myself is reclaim her bedroom from "high school chic" and turn it into "my retreat." So that's my new project, and I started it today.

Ivy Green said...

Jan,
We would love to see some "pitchers" of the quilt as a work-in-progress, or at least the finished product. I would love to know more about the art-and-craft of quilting.

I don't quilt, but I used to get a newsletter by- and for quilters. It was fascinating to have a peek into their world. A while back, they were all abuzz with speculation that Wal-Mart (where many of them purchased their fabrics) was planning to discontinue the sale of fabrics. They were highly incensed, and indeed fearful, about a shortage of economical supplies and material, as well as increased difficulty in obtaining them. Sure enough, when my local newly remodeled Wal-Mart was unveiled, I noted it was the fabric department that had been eliminated to make way for the larger and grander pharmacy and health-and-beauty department.

Carol said...

Hi Ivy, I was worried. I was fixing to send the National Guard out to look for you and make sure you were OK.

I'm glad Ms. College came to visit. I know how much you enjoy that. Did you ever tell us what Ms. College is studying? If so, I forgot. She does want to go to grad school?

Ivy Green said...

The quilters of Gee's Bend, Alabama.

Gee's Bend Quilt Ladies

Carol said...

I might know why WM wants to increase the size of their pharmacy. Back 5 years ago when I would price some of the prescriptions costs for my older patients, they pretty much always were the highest price. Some prescriptions were significantly higher. I was surprised. That was before Medicare had a prescription program. It could have changed. I haven't checked since then.

Ivy Green said...

Carol,
Miss College is majoring in psychology. She was sharing about a research project involving study of the memory effect on rats of ginkgo, and some other touted product that's sold to promote memory. They're hoping to publish a paper on their findings. She says so far, it's not showing much improvement on the rats' memories, but it seems efficacious as a laxative. lol

Ivy Green said...

Carol,
Miss College is planning on a career in clinical psychology which fairly mandates as many advanced degrees as you can rack up.

Carol said...

Yes I know. I have a friend who is almost finished with her grad work in psychology. She's the program director at our local TV station. She will retire and start her new career soon. She's almost my age. I'd hate to be starting a new career this late in life.

Solar said...

http://www.tigerdirect.com/

I have been forgetting to tell you all that if you have this store near you: It is a lot cheaper than Best buy, if not they can ship. compare first, sometimes the shipping brings up the price to be the same...also check-google (electronic stores ) in you area..best buy's are really high compared to these others...

Ivy Green said...

Carol,
Maybe it will give her a new lease on life? It's never too late to have a happy childhood. My favorite spiritual guru, Dr. Wayne Dyer, once said, just because you decided to be one thing when you grew up doesn't mean you always have to be that...when, he said, did you ever let a 17-year old decide the rest of your life? lol

jan said...

Ivy, thanks for posting the Gees Bend quilters. All the towns and cities I have lived in since I learned to quilt have "quilting guilds" made up of mostly women (some men). They have monthly meetings and the members share ideas and usually have someone teach about new patterns or plan quilt shows.

You can find quilt shops in most cities and some small towns. Most quilt stores have classes in quilting. That is a good way for them to make money - b/c when people take the classes they usually buy fabric. I began quilting in 1978. With new gadgets like rotary cutters and rulers and newer sewing machines - quilting has changed so much.

I need a new memory card for my camera - then I will take some pics of the baby quilt in progress and post them - I want Coreen to take a pic of the baby afghan she is making too.

Ivy Green said...

I was going to post a message to Fairweather to ask if she knew the name of a Bruce Hornsby song, the last of the last he performed on Friday evening, the encore's encore. It was haunting and moving, and I'd never heard it before. I got my answer in the meantime...

Bruce Hornsby, The Road Not Taken

jan said...

Carol, interesting that you feel like a little kid here in the swamp. I just feel like I can be me - don't have to measure my words - well not much anyway. What a forum you have created. Here we all are from many parts of the country. Without the WWW this could not have happened.

Chloe, I find it fascinating that you have only worked on a computer for the past 7-8 years. You are world's ahead of me in computer literacy, and I have had a computer since 1984 (25 years).

jan said...

Ivy, would love to hear the song, The road not taken sung by Hornsby. Could not find on You tube. The book the song was based on sounds interesting too- might try to get it it.

So nice you had a day with Miss College. Those times together are precious. They grow up so fast.

Ivy Green said...

This review is pretty "on" as far as I saw and heard things. We were sitting next to one of the question-and-answer questioners mentioned in the article...in fact, the same couple had sat next to us at "The Wailers" the evening prior, so we had "made friends" with them. I'm sure we'll see them again, as season ticket holders.

local review of Bruce Hornsby concert

That question was about Hornsby's sons and their musical preferences, and it led to an interesting revelation that it's his twin sons' close friend who has signed with the Crimson Tide as a freshman quarterback for next year. The friend's name, interestingly, is Phil Sims.

Quarterback Phillip Sims, a 6-foot-1, 209-pound native of Chesapeake, Va., said he would sign with the Crimson Tide for the 2010 class

Carol said...

http://www.last.fm/music/Bruce+Hornsby/_/The+Road+Not+Taken?autostart

Half asleep so can't do the other. Nite

Ivy Green said...

Jan,
I'm so sorry about the tragic loss of your brother. Hubs lost his only sister in the same tragic way, so we sympathize and empathize. Years' passing dull some losses but does not erase them.

jan said...

Off to bed. Monday is a long day.

jan said...

Ivy, Thanks. Yes - the passing years have a way of making the pain of a loss less intense. My brother and I had lived in different states for years but I always looked forward to seeing him when I went home (OK). For years after his death when I would go home - I would imagine him walking around the corner of my parent's house and saying "hi sis" with this funny crooked grin he had.

jan said...

Ivy, I am sorry your hubs lost his sister in the same way. I think it might harder when it is sudden and they are young. I too empathize with his and your loss.

jan said...

I really mean it this time - good night -

Ivy Green said...

The Way It Is lyrics by Bruce Hornsby

Standing in line marking time--
Waiting for the welfare dime
'Cause they can't buy a job
The man in the silk suit hurries by
As he catches the poor old ladies' eyes
Just for fun he says "Get a job"

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

They say hey little boy you can't go
Where the others go
'Cause you don't look like they do
Said hey old man how can you stand
To think that way
Did you really think about it
Before you made the rules
He said, Son

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

Well they passed a law in '64
To give those who ain't got a little more
But it only goes so far
Because the law don't change another's mind
When all it sees at the hiring time
Is the line on the color bar

That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

Ivy Green said...

Thanks, Jan. There was miracle that day too. Her daughter aged 6 was in the back seat, and she emerged from the wreck unscathed.

Carol said...

Thanks Ivy for reintroducing me to Bruce Hornsby. I fell asleep listening to that song you liked. It was a good one.

Monday, not my favorite day. It's going to be extra busy because I have a telemedicine clinic this morning. I begged for a nursing supervisor so I could lighten my load a little. One of the things I wanted her to do is take over this telemedicine HIV clinic. Mondays are already bad because I've been off all weekend and having that clinic on that day just makes it worse. They don't need me but they do need an RN. The hospital insisted on doing this clinic on Monday, it's only once a month.

Well the supervisor I got to help me is on vacation today. Funny, it feels like she's had more vacation in the 6 months she's been there than I have had in my over 4 years. That's the way it is. She's from Canada. I don't think she has the same work ethic that we do.

I don't have a ton of experience with people from other countries to make any judgement but the few I have known like their holidays. They will just up and leave their jobs to go roam the country for a couple of months. No big deal.

Carol said...

Chloe, I just looked at the weather forecast on Weather Underground for this week and now it says tonight's low will be 43 and tomorrow 38. Yikes, there will be a whole lot of shakin goin on. Maggie doesn't have any longjohns.

Chloe said...

Carol, I know, the forcast keeps getting lower. They have a nice little portable Sunbeam heat with an actual thermostat that keeps it at exact degrees over at Walmart for $30. They have a lot of different models, but the one that has that thermostat has a little red dial in the middle to adjust the temperature. I was going to mention it the other day, when you said you woke up cold, because it was warm when you went to bed. This one would have come on automatically.

jan said...

Ivy, Enjoyed listening to the Road not Taken - Great song

Carol, thanks for posting the link to the song.

Hope you and Maggie stay warm, we had our first - or maybe second hard frost last night. Pretty cold here this morning too.
Its off to work I go. Hope its a good day for all out there in swampland.

Carol said...

Who will be up at 3 AM CST to watch the Leonid meteor shower? This year the shower is predicted to have about an average of 25 meteors/hr.in North America? In Asia, 200-300.

I laid in a pasture on a blanket with wall to wall sky all night in Nov 2001. I watched until daybreak. It was supposed to be one of the best years for 100 years. I didn't want to miss that. It was a spectacular show that year and I'm glad I had that experience. Another miracle was that I was able to talk two other friends into going out there with me.

One of the friends who shared that experience just called to remind me. I told her I already knew. Not sure I will be up for it this year. I didn't have to work the next day in 2001.

Carol said...

For you Ivy. Bet ya haven't seen this one. Singing feathers.

Bird Feathers Sing

Carol said...

Ya know Chloe, we down here in the south complain about our mild low temps when our lows are probably Jan, Solar, Rez and Coreen's highs temps.

Chloe said...

I just linked this at TM, but think I'll link it here too - I know you were following his blog for a while too, Carol. Lard made a video of his four day family birthday party in Misouri. He turned 50 in October. http://seanholton.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/50th-birthday-in-the-missouri-ozarks/#comment-702

... the video is done to a very nice song too.

Chloe said...

"we down here in the south complain about our mild low temps when our lows are probably Jan, Solar, Rez and Coreen's highs temps."

Ha, I know Carol. But it doesn't stop me from complaining. We're just not acclimated the way they are. We're sissies, except when it comes to heat. Then we're troopers.

Chloe said...

... I get cold just thinking about cold.

Chloe said...

I think that Solar will like that bird feather video too Carol.

Chloe said...

I like what you said the other night about feeling about a little kid when you're here. I gave it some thought, wondering about the reason for that. Have you wondered why?

Maybe it's because we're more carefree here, because so much of the time we're just playing, pondering things that we usually don't have the luxury of time to ponder. Maybe we're more open to things, or just use the time to get away from the responsibilities that burden us as adults all the time. Remember that article that said that most people get on line as a form of procrastination. To 'not' do what they feel they should be getting done. Escapism.

Carol said...

Your right Chloe.

Chloe said...

Really??

Carol said...

And a nice escape from some of the grief I have to deal with at work! I had an Iraq vet today who was going thru some serious grief, guilt and pain from his war experience. Not too many people really get to see the results of the emotional ravage of war, not even families since they often don't share those things with their families. They can't.

Carol said...

This poor guy was afraid God wouldn't forgive him for some of the things he had to do. All I could tell him was that he was the only one who could forgive himself and he had to figure out a way to do that.

Chloe said...

"I had an Iraq vet today who was going thru some serious grief, guilt and pain from his war experience."

.. and many of them will never recover. We can't send these guys over there and expect them to come back the same way they left. I hate war.

Carol said...

I told him that wasn't it better that he came home caring about what he had to do there than if he came home not. He agreed.

Chloe said...

I just hope you didn't let it bring you down. You said all the right things to him Carol. There's not much else you can do. Hearing those things may be the beginning of him working his way through it.

Chloe said...

Have a good evening, and see you tomorrow.

Chloe said...

.. one last thing Carol. The most important thing you pointed out to him was that he is the only one that can forgive himself. More people need to understand that.

Then the only thing they may need help with is figuring out how to do so. Talking with you was the best thing he could have done. You really do go above and beyond Carol. You're mom did the world a favor, when she bought you that first nursing kit.

Carol said...

Nite. I'm watching DWTS and eating a pomegranite. Not easy to do.

Chloe said...

Ha! Enjoy.

Carol said...

Thanks Chloe.

Carol said...

Many of these really young, naive guys go over there thinking of this war as a video game. In fact he did mention a video game that is popular right now that was exactly like what he was doing. He was a sniper. I can't remember the name of the game.

When they are there, it is still like the video game to a certain degree then they come home and no more adrenalin, no more denial, the cold harsh reality of it all comes pouring in and slaps them in the face. It's overwhelming.

I heard on the news the other night about the number of soldiers who are committing suicide. The number keeps going up every month.

Well so much for escape.

Carol said...

And the thing that brought him the most remorse was coming home to his young son. Then thinking of the children he saw killed and those he had to kill who had children, who would never see them again and watching his friends die.

It was the faces of the children that haunted him the most and it was brought back in the face of his own child.

Carol said...

And many who were responsible for ordering these wars never have had to look in the face of those children!

Carol said...

And this young guy, to me, was pretty much just still a child himself.

jan said...

Carol, I am overcome myself by your description of the Iraq vet. I can't even imagine the kind of guilt & grief he is experiencing. This is a lot for you to deal with too. I think what you said to him was right on.

jan said...

Carol, the fact that he is "just still a child himself" When I see the faces of the vets on TV I want to cry. I have grandchildren their ages and I can't imagine them in a war situation. I have one grandson in the Air Force. I pray every day that he is not deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. I know that is selfish because so many young men and women are deployed and many are seriously injured or killed or return like your war vet. But I can't help but want Gary to be safe.

jan said...

Good nite all.

Carol said...

Oh Jan, it nothing on me. I just wanted to share that because I think we ought to. I think we all ought to see into their hearts and souls. Share a little of their pain. It's so easy for us sitting in our comfortable homes.

Carol said...

Well actually semi comfortable homes. It's 57 in the kitchen but maybe the bedroom is a hair warmer. I don't know. The bathroom will be toasty in a little while.

And I pulled something last night watching DWTS. Really. I got up off the couch and could barely walk. I knew they shouldn't have attempted 3 dances each last night. It had to affect someone and it was me. Or maybe it was the 20 degree rapid temperature drop. I think that may have rearranged one of my old injuries.

Have you ever had one of those mystery pains. It just mysteriously hits you and mysteriously goes away. Well I know that is what this is. I went to bed with it and thought it would go away while I slept but it hasn't. I can't even get ready for work. I just called in "I can't move today".

I guess my body is trying to tell me to take the day off and won't take no for an answer.

Carol said...

And speaking of DWTS, since you will have to put up with me today, I think it's time for Donnie to go. He screwed up last night. The two women, Mya and Joanne are the best and Kelly has really made the most progress. She also is the "Chicken Catcher" in this bunch, that's the one who will get the sympathy, we just love her anyway, vote.

Carol said...

And Jan, I'm afraid if someone enlists in any armed services these days, their number will eventually come up to go, if we continue in these wars.

Reading about Afganistan in one of those books someone wrote about Bush and the Saudis several years back, I learned they are a patient and persistant bunch. They can war until the cows come home. There's not much else to do around there besides smoke poppies and I'm sure that will give you a bad attitude after a while, make you want to kill somebody.

Carol said...

I can understand our country's need to enact revenge for 9/11 but I don't think it would ever be possible to win a war in that country. It ain't gonna happen, even if we kill every last person in the country. More would just keep spilling across the country's border to fight. They are a committed bunch and death is no big deal.

Carol said...

And sex it a big reason they are willing to die. They almost have to die to get some, ya know the virgins they get in heaven. Here, people will steal for it, assault for it, kill for it, go to jail for it but over there they have to die for it.

Carol said...

Kinda wish I had gone to work, huh?

Coreen said...

Carol,

Sorry you are not feeling up to par this a.m.

Has the pain gotten any better since last night?
You mentioned the temperature being only in the 50's, has it warmed up for you?

When the temp stays in the 30's the cold is unpleasant, but as long as it does not snow,
I can deal with the cold.

And unfortunately, can offer no comfort as far
as your observations about the effects of war.

Carol said...

Ya know, every now and again, here at the Swamp, we must reflect on some of the mud. Not too often though since it is a place for fun and escape.

Since I had this throbbing focus last night and still this morning, it made me kind of focus on other sources of pain in this world.

Carol said...

Somebody, quick, throw up a nice baby blanket!

Carol said...

Coreen that temp in the 50s was in the house, not outside. Outside, it is in the 40s. Maggie's probably glad I stayed home because I can keep the house warmer when I'm at home because I keep the space heaters going. I have to turn them off when I leave for work. Actually Maggie may have put a spell on me to keep me home today.

Carol said...

I see we have someone from Saudi Arabia lurking lately. Maybe he/she can add their 2 cents to this conversation. No, more like billions of cents. I doubt they ever even deal with the concept of cents over there. They probably start at about $100 as their lowest currency. So they can add their $200.

Carol said...

Saw this on Today Show this morning:

Hippo Attacks Crocodile

Now to make this more fun, lets think of the Hippos as Sarah Palin or any other women in politics. Now think of the crocodile as Keith O. I know that that little fantasy had to be fun for at least some of us.

Coreen said...

Carol, I just put up a new post.