A Place To Ponder
I'll never forget 9/11/01. I was working at the state prison a ways up the road from where I live. It was right in the middle of a stressful time for me. The Doc I worked for had just hired an LPN to work at his office and take the place of this slut puppy who had worked for him for several years. Well I had been at work at the prison for about an hour when Kathy, the new office nurse, called to tell me that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Centers. Before I could even start to ponder what a horrible tragidy that was she called again to tell me another plane hit the other Trade Center.Immediately we started looking for some way to get some news. I remember finding and dusting off an old radio one of the nurses had stashed up on an old shelf. Wasn't easy to get any reception out in this remote small town where the prison was located. I rushed through the patients I had to see that day and headed home. For weeks I watched the videos, over and over, of those planes crashing into those buildings, the people jumping to their deaths and the buildings falling to the ground. Even though it was horrific, I couldn't look away. I tried to immagine the terror everyone involved felt. I cried a lot. From that day on, I realized that we could never again take our freedom and safety for granted. The first time I felt any sort of peace about what the victims must have gone though in their final moments was when I read this story about a woman who was going for her first day of work at the Pentigon. I was looking up information on orbs when I came upon this article. Well, this woman was late for her first day of work at the Pentigon. She was rushing to get there and getting close when the plane hit the building. She said that just before the plane hit she saw all these bubbles float up from the top of the plane. I assumed that maybe their souls all left their bodies before the impact occurred, at least I hoped so. That tragic event turned out to be a prelude to about two years of hell for me. Two years when I went through two of the most significant personal crises I have ever had to face in my life, one was watching my mother die.
Carol, That was such a touching story and told in a way only you can tell them. I recalled how different things were back then, when you recalled rummaging around trying to find some form of communication in order to follow the news. I know I didn't have a computer yet, and wasn't thinking about getting one either. It's a whole new world, and it'll never be the same.I need to get to my chores, but I just had to bring over Ivy's 'Life goes on' comment. It seemed to belong over here too. Thanks Ivy... a very nice comment with a happy ending:"My niece and her husband survived the falling of the towers, they fled their nearby apartment as the ash was falling on them. They became separated from one another, and spent an anguished day trying to learn if one another had survived. Fortunately, they both did. It was over a month before they could go back to their apartment and rescue any of their belongings. They live in Texas now, and have two beautiful children born after 9/11. Life does go on." September 11, 2009 11:40:00 AM
Oh, and Jan, When you're here, I want to find out which blood pressure medication they put your niece (was it your niece?) on that was having anxiety attacks along with raises in blood pressure, if you happen to know. Amazing how that solved the problem, and interesting that blood pressure can cause those kinds of problems.
Chloe, There is a class of blood pressure medications that I use for patients with hypertension who also suffer anxiety. It is the beta blockers. A cheap one is atenolol, once a day or metoprolol, the cheap version is twice a day. I used atenolol to keep my hyperthyroidism from causing my heart to beat to death. Beta blockers block sympathetic stimulation to the heart. It's that sympathetic stimulation that causes increase in heart rate which is one of the symptoms of anxiety. The increase in heart rate just further increases anxiety which leads to a vicious cycle. In fact they have used this class of drugs to treat speaker anxiety.
Hey Carol, Thanks for all that information.I knew the beta blockers were an effective and inexpensive way to control blood pressure, but I was interested in what Jan said about the blood pressure only being high during the 'high anxiety' episodes. I kinda wanted to ask her if that was originally the only time her niece's blood pressure went up, and therefore had never been caught by the doctors during her regular checkups. Or if the blood pressure was caused by the anxiety.Now me, I need the heavy duty bp meds. Diltiazem and an ace inhibitor.
O, no. Heavy duty drugs....
My most vivid personal memory came at the end of the day. At the time, I was living alone in Maryland, my family having already relocated south, leaving me behind to wrap things up. Sent home early from work, I took a break from news-watching to go outside on the deck. How strangely silent the skies were, all air traffic having been grounded. We lived beneath a flight path, and so were accustomed to the regular noise of planes overhead. Only their absence could draw my notice.Suddenly and startlingly, I heard the roar jet engines overhead. I was chilled to the bone, that's not supposed to be, I thought. What could be happening? Seconds later, the sky went silent again. I stood for a moment, then went back inside, returning to the news programs. Two minutes later, it was announced, the President's plane has landed at Andrews Air Force Base. That's how I remember it.
Not 'that' heavy duty Solar. :)
Ivy, I see what you said in your post as a bit of a premonition. Is that what it felt like?
Was it scary being separated from your family at that time Ivy?
I don't know about "premonition" as much as a kind of cognitive dissonance between "my reality" and what was "supposed to be" that was resolved as soon as I figured out I must have heard the sonic boom of the President's fighter jet escorts immediately over my head.
Carol, I was relieved and grateful my family was safe and far enough away from "where it was happening." Apprehensive that I was situated between NYC and DC, not to mention adjacent to PA where a plane also went down, lest we forget the heroes who resisted with, "Let's Roll."
Carol, I'm glad things are better for you now. Your river has had a healing effect.
Thanks Ivy. How long will you be gone on your vacation?
Chloe, that was my daughter in law who is on a BP medication. I will check with her tomorrow and see what med they put her on. Ivy, Today must bring painful memories to your neice and her husband, and you too. I can't imagine what it must have been like to know planes were grounded and then to have heard one overhead. Your niece provides a wonderful story of survival. Carol, a great picture of the flag and river. A good ponder for today, in memory of all those who lost their lives and the families who grieve. On this day 8 years ago, I had just moved to a small town in OK. to work in a nursing program there. My husband and I lived about 90 miles away in Arkansas where he was an Episcopal priest. There were few apartments in this small OK town, so we decided to buy a very small house for me to live in during the week. It just so happened that we were doing the closing on the house on 9/11. When we woke up that morning to the news of the World Trade Center, I could not help but wonder if this was an "omen." We did go ahead with the closing. Two years later when my husband retired and we decided to move to New Mexico, we had a heck of a time selling that little house.
Chloe, I was just reading your post again about my D-I-L. The way I remember her sequence of symptoms was - She is a school teacher and is a pretty calm person - pretty grounded. One day at school she began feeling like she was going to faint - she felt her heart beating really fast. They took her to an urgent care clinic. They said her blood pressure and heart rate were really high. I don't remember if they gave her any meds at the clinic. The symptoms lasted about 45 minutes to an hour. About a week later, the same thing happened in her home in the evening. Her husband, my son, again took her to the urgent care clinic and after about an hour the symptoms went away. This happened 2 or 3 more times. They ran many tests and scans and could find nothing. Finally, they put her on the blood pressure meds (Carol, I think it was one that ends in al or ol) and she no longer has any of the symptoms. Oh yes, she was also having a lot of headaches at that time. She has a history of migraine headaches and ocular migraines. She had never before been diagnosed with high blood pressure.
Jan,It's ironic you mention a real estate transaction that day. I had listed our house for sale on Monday (Sept. 10). That morning I was at work, and my agent had a prospective buyer at my door and the key I'd given him didn't work. So my focus was being frustrated about the confusion and miscommunication. A few hours later, it didn't matter. The real estate market effectively shut down for months afterwards. Never even got another "looker" until after New Year 2002. It did finally sell by the end of February, and I was able to rejoin my family.
"That morning" meant Tuesday, September 11.
Sleep is not happening tonight. I am thinking of 8 years ago. Carol, I did not remember the story of the bubbles floating up from the plane before it hit the Pentagon. Like you, it is comforting to think it might have been the souls of the people on board. Ivy, so interesting that we were both involved in real estate stuff that day. I can relate to your having to stay behind to complete the sale of the house when your family moved on. I have done that a couple of times. Those are not the happiest of times.
Solar, where were you on 9/11/01?
Chloe, I don't see your story of where you were on that day? Where were you Chloe? And you Solar? It's OK if you don't want to share that. Jan, It was most likely a beta blocker they used for your DIL with those letters on the end. Interesting that you thought of pheochromocytoma. Yep, that was one of the symptoms and I think I remember it accounted for about 1/10 of 1% of those with hypertension.That was what I did my paper on. Wasn't that for our Endocrinology class? The first and the hardest class I think we ever took. The professor was suppose to teach a clinical endocrinology class and she taught a comparative endocrinology class instead. I think the rest of the class rioted but since we were driving back and forth to class we didn't know about that until it was over. Little ole you and me were busting it to get er done. We both did ace the class but I think we were frightened out of our minds after that class. Fear can be good. I don't remember that professor's name but she was new and a young whippersnapper. We had take home tests and they were kicking our asses. I think I sorta remember one of the questions even though I might be a little off since it was 33 years ago. It was something like if you were to rename the melanocyte stimulating hormone, considering it's various functions in different species, what would you rename it and why? Shit! Her questions certainly provoked some ponders, We had to ponder so hard it hurt. But you know, after that I always taught the endocrine section in the pathophysiology class. I don't think anyone else could have beat my preparation. And it was funny that when I had my appointment with my Endocrinologist for my thyroid problem, in walks one of my old nursing students and he suggested that I probably knew more than he did. LOL. It has been interesting that my old nursing students keep poping back into my life and usually just when I needed them. What goes around does come around.
And LOL, the evening before you had to present your paper in class, my cousin, who we stayed with in Houston, had taught us how to drink tequila. Remember that? Probably not. It was salt on the hand, bite of lime then slug of some cheap tequila he got from Mexico? You were green that morning trying to present your paper. I don't know if either of us remember what it was on. I just remember the room spinning.
And Jan, did you ever go with me canoeing the Guadaloupe? I don't remember that even though I did take lots of people with me to that river. I felt I owned that river. It brought back one of my previous lives as a Native American. The first time I got in a canoe, I felt like I was one with it. We clicked. When the rapids got too easy, I would stand up to go through them or take them backward, on purpose, just to make it more of a challenge. As a youngster, I did love a challenge. Now it is a challenge just to stay on my feet. I won't even go down the stairs without holding on. Old age ain't for sissies.
And Jan, you know I though I was retarded when I was in elementary school. Poor little Mary and I were twins and born a month premature and were very developmentally delayed. I think I finally caught up by my sophomore year in college. If you really want something, really want it, you can achieve it. I used to tell my nursing students that if I could do it, you can do it. I now tell my inmates they can achieve what they really want to achieve if they just go for it. And I do throw in, that shouldn't be taking the neighbor's car or anything else that is not thiers. I know how their little minds work. I guess ya'll noticed that I woke up a little chatty this morning.
And I have a theory ya'll. It's that people who indulge in drug or alcohol abuse are often people with a lot of potential. Their potential scares them, they don't know what to do with it and instead of developing and using that potential, they just bury it under the drugs and alcohol. When I tell some of my inmates that, I can often see a little twinkle of recognition in their eyes. I can see some pondering starting to happen. And I have to give to Obama for talking to the kids in school about staying in school and studying. That was great and people were trying to make out like he was trying to advance his social agenda. I once suggested something similar on the Trail. Obama was a perfect person to reach out, especially to the AA students, who have such a high drop out rate. I think most of those students did listen. It would be neat if those students did start to excel and when they do, those white conservative kids, who were too stubborn to listen, can work for them doing thier yardwork. LOL. Karma. We had some idiot student from one of the high schools here who opted not to listen to the speech at school. She's on TV saying she just doesn't agree with the President. She doesn't agree that kids should stay in school and study??? She was a white girl and I'm sure she comes from a conservative family and won't listen because Obama is a Democrat. Life can be so amusing.
Now if ya'll don't want to read all my ramblings this morning, it's fine with me. I'm very used to talking to myself. Done it for years.
Carol, I really enjoy reading your morning posts. A good way to start the day, and I hope you keep them coming in the future (and throughout the day). I especially like hearing about your and Jan's past experiences, and about the things you did together way back when. I think your following theory is right on: "have a theory ya'll. It's that people who indulge in drug or alcohol abuse are often people with a lot of potential. Their potential scares them, they don't know what to do with it and instead of developing and using that potential, they just bury it under the drugs and alcohol."I know there's the whole heredity thing, but it may also be 'learned' as a way of dealing with stress (as well as what you've said in the past, self medication for depression, anxiety, etc.). What you said about fear of potential is a form of stress, imo. An awareness of potential brings with it a lot of responsibility. Also feelings of failure, when you waste them.You also gave me some laughs this morning, but then you always do. A great sense of humor, and I'm always giggling at the little zingers you throw into your otherwise serious posts.
Hope you'll expound on this some more in the future: "I felt I owned that river. It brought back one of my previous lives as a Native American. "
"Poor little Mary and I were twins and born a month premature and were very developmentally delayed."Also this Carol. Since Emma arrived, I become very interested in 'early development'. They seem now to have so much information on exactly what happens when, whenever I check on line, month by month, where Emma is supposed to be.She's late getting her teeth (almost 8 months, and none in site), ahead on some things, behind on others. I keep wonder if the late teeth tells me that her digestive track is a little behind schedule. She's always had to be on a 'sensitive' formula, and doesn't seem to be very interested in her baby food meals. She's plenty chubby though, because that formula is made thicker than normal with rice, to make it easier to keep down. But I really wish I could feed her more fruits and vegetables than she is willing to eat (or maybe, able to tolerate).
Jan, Carol,Ive, Chlo, and any other gals up and talking...buenos dias...Thanks for asking. On 9/11 I was at my brothers house. Jessie is and older bro. he is the Catholic deacon. We were celebrating someone birthday. I forgot whose. We were all at the dinner table and had the tv on to watch some kind of sports game. When the news broke into the game, we knew right away that it was real. I did look for some kind of ad to come on...but it was way too serious. We all stopped eating and just went with the news for the next few minuets. My brother whom I have always have known to be a very kind person, started to go on a religious rant about the Muslims..all of them...I had a big fight with him about his making all of the Muslims guilty of the terror....This will be part of my ponder post...It leads into what we discussed during the news that day...and of the hatred's that some have towards others....Carol, don't ever think that I don't want to share experiences or anything at all; I do....and will eventually..
Chlo,Your daughter is very lucky, and very happy that you help with Emma. I know that I would be.Im going to do that mountain one..but got a little side tracked.About Don...yes you are right..he was a little arrogant...I remember scolding him a cpl of times, and not getting so uppity with the tm'rs, and so shitty with them....thats my job :-)) and I like it.I did not find it beleievable that at the age of 16 that he shared time with the monks...for the same reasons...he would have had a lot more tolerance for the ignorance that he said we all had:Inspite of all that, I still liked and enjoyed bsing with him about science( he liked string theory, as I do)...he did give me some things to think about, and some things to laugh off...I think that he knew it....sorta like when Max, manipulates sometimes..but in science we all do.....thats why there are at least 13 dimensions...and I was in two of them already this morning
Chloe, sorry I can't help you with the feeding of children issues. I'm a Family NP but that end of the family, I kind of left in the classroom because I never got to use it and with no kid experience of my own I'm pretty ignorant there. Fortunately I don't have any kids in jail. Jan may have better info since she was more on the end of mothers and children. Chloe and Solar and Jan, we are waiting for some of your ponders. You are all great ponderers and leave us lots to ponder all the time. Don't let that I have put up any of my trivia prevent you from putting up a ponder. I'm waiting with baited breath. Oh, wait, I just haven't brushed my teeth yet. Yesterday I had to get that smelly fish off before Solar vomited. I saw him starting to swoon.
"..I had a big fight with him about his making all of the Muslims guilty of the terror...."Solar, I've thought about it, and I'm glad you're out there fighting the 'good' fight. In doing so, you're making the world a better place.
Carol, I wasn't asking you for professional advice. I can pretty much get any answers I want on line, one way or another. Or I can talk to her doctor. (I wasn't asking Jan for professional advice either, I was just 'curious' as to what medication worked on her 'dil' and the part I asked her about whether she had been diagnosed previously with high bp.When I talk to you here, I'm just pondering. I just was wondering your 'opinion' from a 'philosophical' point of view. I was testing my 'theory' that nature make work in that way. Give babies teeth when their digestive system was ready for them. I enjoy hearing others opinions and take on things. Many of the things that I question, probably don't even have one completely true or correct answer.
sorry about all the errors, Emma has been giving me fits for the last few hours.
Chloe,Don't worry about Emma's teeth. My daughter didn't get her first tooth until she was 16-months old! I finally took her for "X-rays" to see if she had any. They wouldn't xray her, but told me not to worry, she would get teeth! Plus, they were more protected beneath her gums than they would be after they got exposed to "sugar bugs." She has all her teeth now, and beautiful ones, courtesy of orthodontia!
Well, off to the grocery store. I'm also doing some shopping for my shut-in friend who had her hip replaced. I have to beg her to let me help her because she is so damned independent. I do understand. Her mom lives with her but her mom is used to be waited on and my friend is still trying to do that. With all the rain, my river is rising fast. I'm watching it come up as I write. That is worrisome with my fleet and all my junk down at ground level. I hope my surrogate husbands next door are gonna stay close. Rain, rain, go away, come again another day, after the river goes down.
Also, my Mom tells me I didn't get any teeth until after my first birthday...must be genetic.
Carol, Ivy, Chloe & Solar, I get up in the morning and can hardly wait to see what you are saying. It was hard for me to get to sleep last night. Who knows why? My good buddy, Lobie joined me outside on the porch about midnight while I had a cup of tea and sat in the dark. She didn't say, "let me alone, I want to sleep." She just followed me out there as if it was a normal thing to do. Carol, I remember that endocrinology class. I remember my paper for the class was on the use of diethelsyilbesterol (DES) to prevent miscarriages back in about 1930-1960 and how the babies that resulted would up with reproductive cancers. Yes, I sure remember those tequila shooters we had with your cousin the night before. I was so sick, I forgot to be nervous for my presentation. I was just trying hard not to throw up. I did not remember that you did your paper on pheochromocytoma. I wondered why when my D-I-L had the symptoms - the info about pheo came back to me so clear. I have never known anyone with it. Wow! so many things are buried in our memories.Carol, Interesting theory about people who abuse alcohol and drugs. I am one of those people who is attracted to alcoholics. I heard a woman at a workshop on alcoholism say, "I can tell who the alcoholics are at a party, because they are the ones I am attracted to." That's me too. Most of the men I have had relationships have been alcoholics. On the other hand, one glass of wine puts me under the table.I went with you on several canoe trips. You were taller and stronger than me and when we had to "portage" (you taught me that too) around bad spots in the river, I was struggling to carry my end of the canoe. Do you remember the camping/conoeing trip we took just before I moved to Montana. We took my 16 year old son and his girlfriend and his buddy Bobby and his girlfriend. We got to the campsite after dark and had to set up in the dark. The teens just sat around and let us set up and cook etc. You were ready to take them all back home. You were definitely not a happy camper. We did have fun canoeing the river though. I love your stories too. You were never one to hold back your feelings. I think that was one of things I admired about you. You have been the only good friend I could disagree with and have some pretty hairy arguments and it didn't end our friendship.Chloe, Some kids just get their teeth later. My oldest son cut his first tooth at 9 months. I remember worrying about it. Does Emma have some reflux - you mentioned you put cereal in her formula "to keep it down." Have you tried some mashed table foods to see if she likes those? Some little ones prefer mashed table foods to store-bought baby foods. Solar, one of things that makes me sad is that after 9/11/01, many people in this country now hate Muslims. It was a few terrorists who did this thing, but all the people in one group are now blamed. I look forward to your ponder post on this topic.
Today, I am setting the 24-hour countdown-to-launch button...
I know you weren't asking Chloe but if I have any info, I love to share it. I guess you figured that out huh. You are more of an expert in that area than I am.
I was writing this last and after posted it, found several posts from Ivy and Chloe and Carol. When I am writing the posts don't show up that other people are writing at the same time until I have posted mine. A blogging delayed reaction. I guess several of us are sitting here having a cyber chat. How fun!
I'm already missing you Ivy.
Jan, sometimes you can miss posts because of that and not find them until later.
Carol, I hope you are ok. I remember how flooding is common there. You do have your other house to go to. Let us know how that is going. So kind of you to look after your neighbor. Send some of that rain my way. We have had a little in the past 2-3 days, but not nearly enough.
And yes Jan, after all the time I have spent with dogs, I just can't find any people companions who can compare to the love my dogs have given me.
Has anyone seen the movie, Julie and Julia. John and I saw it just before I joined your blog Carol, and your blog reminds me of the movie. It was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. Now I want to get Julia Child's book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I did buy a biography of her after seeing the movie. I have not started it yet. Carol, I think you would especially enjoy the movie because I know you love to cook.
I'm feeling generous Jan. You can have all the rain right now. I like a rainy day but just don't like swimming in my living room.
My friend Dawn saw the movie and loved it. She loves to cook also. She bought that book Jan. It's not cheap. Check it out on Amazon.
I am off to take Lobie for her walk - Ha, it is her taking me for a walk - who am I kidding?
Off for groceries.
Not surprised about the cost of the book - its a real classic - and probably in big demand after the movie.
"My daughter didn't get her first tooth until she was 16-months old! "Thanks Ivy. I figured it was normal, but it's always good to hear.Jan, You are right on. She'll eat mashed potato's, mashed avocado, apple sauce, but doesn't like the baby foods, except a couple.I don't add cereal to her formula, the 'sensitive' formula the doctor has her on, has as one of it's ingredients: rice. The doctor said it's to make it heavier, because she had a lot of reflux, but it's getting better. But I know she still gets stomach aches occasionally.
Jan, I saw Julie and Julia, and love it!
"I guess several of us are sitting here having a cyber chat. How fun!"I'm still catching up, but yes Jan, you need to refresh your page pretty often. I know Carol and I are both fast talkers, and when we get going, I have to reload every minute or two.
"Today, I am setting the 24-hour countdown-to-launch button..."Oooh Ivy, a busy day ahead of you, I bet. Also, a very exciting trip to look forward too. We'll miss you. Don't forget: pictures and mental notes. :)Now I must get some things done.
Carol, and I are fast talkers: Ill say, and you can say that again.I will have that post today, promise, cos I want Ivy to see it. She once commented on some thing that I said, about making others happy....ok Happy Now.! Ive committed....sheeesh Pinks...
Ok, Im ready to post a thread: How do i do it?
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