Friday, February 25, 2011

TGIF






Fridays are great inventions. We can look forward to 2 days of not having to work and knowing the time is mine - all mine. Well, almost. There are errands and meals and getting the yard ready for spring, and laundry. Oh why did I go and ruin it! Here are some of my favorite recent pictures.

74 comments:

jan said...

First pic is my 3 sons. See if you know who is who - carol? 2nd pic is baby Abigail on Superbowl Sunday. Both her parents are football fans and she will be no exception. Pic 3 is my GD, Tae - she got an i-pad for Christmas - she is youngest of 6 kids in her family. 4ht pic is costa Maya. I love the belly up to the bar pool. Last pic is heading home. I love looking at the clouds from another perspective - out of the plane.

jan said...

"If we can get him there it will get rid of one of my stressors but I'm afraid there will be several others pop up'

Do you remember when you were younger how if you had something facing that you were dreading, you thought that if you could just get through that , then life would be wonderful and all your problems would be over. I used to think like that. Now, of course I know that these things "pop up" all the time. I look back now, and think that at times I "wished my life away" just dreading things that were coming up - like tests or papers I had to write in school or projects I had to complete.

Carol said...

Jan, I'm an expert at anticipatory dread. I've practiced it all my life. I keep trying to tell myself to relax, forget about it and just wait until the time comes to suffer if I need to but I just can't master that. Maybe with some EST. I wish I could reprogram myself.

Carol said...

The only one who still looks a lot like he used to is Terry, that is, if I'm correct.

Carol said...

Oops, my post disappeared. My guess is Steve, Billy and Terry, left to right.

Carol said...

BTW Jan, I love your pics. I was hoping you would pop something up.

Carol said...

Jan, Steve's eyes give him away. After I've slept on it, and blew it up, that's Billy on the right and it's Terry that I couldn't find Billy in. No wonder. After I figured it out, I could see Terry in there. Hey, his hair has changed a lot. I do like bald men.

In my head, I can still see their young selves like it was yesterday. There are more changes that go on from kidhood to adult than from adult to older adult.

Carol said...

The friend I went to supper with last night is a nurse who used to work at the joint. We knew some of the same people from years back and I was trying to remember a name of someone I knew pretty well back 30 years ago. I just could not remember the name. That really bugs me. I spent a while after I left the restaurant searching all the floors of my memory and finally found the name. Faces I'm much better at remembering but names don't come up easy.

Carol said...

My biggest problem with all this SF stuff is my not knowing what to do or how to do it and can't find anyone who does or wants to be bothered.

My job is more than a full time job and one of the most difficult I've ever had and I'm 60. Still, it is something I can handle, that is, without all this other stuff flying at me.

SF's issues could be more than a full time job and I don't have a clue what to do.

Getting a roomy to watch over and take care of my house didn't work out. She found a way to spend what she was saving in rent plus and there wouldn't be one square inch of space for me to put a toothbrush if I had to move back in if the river rises. I can't believe someone else actually has more crap than I do. She was suppose to get a storage place but instead just stacked up my house with her stuff. Lots of stuff.

Chloe said...

Jan, as usual, I love the pictures you are sharing with us. Three handsome sons, and beautiful grandchildren.

I showed hubby the pic of your little 'football fan' great grandbaby -- she couldn't be any more adorable.

And we both got a little giggle out of your beautiful granddaughter already having an ipad. We kidded that - that will be Emma in the not too distant future, with her love of electronics. She loves to draw on her grandpa's ipad, and pushes all the buttons on any electronics she can get her hands on. She knows a lot more about how to operate that ipad than I do. I swear, I think it's in their genes now-a-days.

Chloe said...

... also I too really like that pic of seeing the clouds from the top, instead of looking up at them. Beautiful shot.

Chloe said...

" you thought that if you could just get through that , then life would be wonderful and all your problems would be over. I used to think like that. Now, of course I know that these things "pop up" all the time."

I agree, Jan.

But her SF problem is an awfully big thing (as well as the house). I've found that when I have major problems that need to be solved, that until I do at least start on them, they affect everything else that's going on too -- making everything else seem more burdensome (sometimes even hopeless).

I think that at least starting the process, moving in the right direction, makes the rest of my problems seem less bothersome. If we don't work on these things one by one, as they come up, then eventually the burden of them all starts feeling overwhelming. I think it's important to lighten the load is very important -- to not feel that we are carrying the the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Maybe I'm thinking like this right now, because I'm a place in my life that I'm trying to arrange things to make everything run more smoothly -- planning for an easier future. Like we were talking about the other day - divestiture.

I do completely agree with you, that something else will always come along though. It will be easier to deal with though, if I've set things in motion to solve any existing problems though.

Chloe said...

.. sorry about all the 'though's'. Trying to think and type at the same time sometimes doesn't work out for me.

Chloe said...

Hope you enjoyed the Mexican food last night Carol. Sounds like you two had a good time.

Jan, did you get your Margarita?

Carol said...

Chloe, that was me with the Margarita. I didn't get one. Alcohol, even one drink for me, is a very short lived buzz with a very long hangover. Darn it. It's probably a good thing because if I could drink, I'd be lying in bed right now all snockered up. God knew what she was doing when she made me alcohol intolerant.

Chloe said...

"I'd be lying in bed right now all snockered up. God knew what she was doing when she made me alcohol intolerant."

LMAO, Carol!!!

Jan said she'd like to have one too -- was even thinking about making them.

"Margarita's sound wonderful. Maybe get John to take me for one. I guess I should get the fixins and do my own here at home. " February 25, 2011 3:59:00 PM PST

... I was already pretty sure you wouldn't follow through on that Margarita. I think you've only had a drink once or twice since I've known you. And if I remember correctly, you regretted even those.

Carol said...

Well Chloe, I just got back from going to see SF. I was talking with Jan while I drove since there is no one left around here for me to share my torment. I can tell it even hurts her to listen.

Because I was preoccupied I forgot I had to go pick up SF's meds and had to make about a 30 mile, out of my way, round trip to go pick them up. Then I ran into a traffic jam which held me up.

At the drug store I ran into a pharmacist SF used to be in love with. It's at his drugstore. She was also the wife of one of my students. She was very helpful when I went thru some of my career grief while working for that old Doc whose behavior threatened my career. Weird. She doesn't even work there anymore but was filling in. What luck!

Well she unloaded a horrible, sad story about her x-husband, my x-student, who went nuts on her even threatened to kill her. I drooled out of there and headed for my next nightmare.

SF is acting like he's not going to go to the AL facility. I won't know for sure until the day comes. There were a couple of other people there with SF, who were suppose to help me, undermining what I am trying to do. I left almost in tears.

I'm seriously thinking about going for that Margarita because even a a bad hangover would look good about now.

Carol said...

I missed those last comments on the last post because when I got home the new post was up. I just went back.

Yes, dear old Dr.Kavorkin. Is he still alive and does anyone have his phone number???

jan said...

Hey Carol, so sorry your meeting with SF did not go well. Sounds like there is no one there you can depend on to help you with SF. The margarita will only help for a little while- but a little while is better than nothing. Wish I was there to have one with you.

jan said...

Chloe, yes I was surprised they bought her an i-pad. The older kids get a little "put-out" because Tae gets so much. But they are all older now and are working and can buy for themselves.

I was the oldest in my family and my sis was 2 years younger. We were always p***ed off because our brother who was 6 years younger than me got lots of "goodies" we didn't get.

jan said...

Years later, however, my brother was instrumental in helping one of my sons get through a very difficult emotional crisis. My brother was killed in an auto accident about 7 years after that. I have often thought about all these things. I don't know what I would have done without my brother during that crisis. My son's wife was pregnant with their youngest son when my brother died. They gave that baby his middle name after my brother. He is 22 years old now. Oddly, that child has some characteristics much like my brother. Does make me wonder about reincarnation.

Chloe said...

The baby is always spoiled, Jan. They always get the most. I never would have thought I'd spoil a kid the way I am Emma.

That was a very uplifting, but then sad story about your younger brother. How great it is that you can see so much of him in your grandson. Is that the grandson that now has a baby of his own? The one you showed us the picture of a while back. If so, I remember Carol mentioning he looks a lot like you too.

Chloe said...

Carol, I'm glad that you have Jan to talk to.

I think that SF pulls your strings. Assume he's going to go, then don't think about it again until it's time to happen. I think the less said, the better.

Meantime, I guess you'll have to wait for the attorney to get back, to continue in any other direction. One way, or another, you're going to have to get responsibility for him off your back. It'll happen.

But remember, worrying won't help. Just try to visualize things working out the way you want them to work out - then let it go for a while.

Chloe said...

Carol, I say these things because I'm such a big worrier. I'm always giving myself the same advice, and it's all that gets me through the rough times.

Chloe said...

... you know, Jan. I think that Ipad was a perfect gift for you grand daughter (as long as they could afford it). If Emma were that age, I'd do the same (as long as I could afford it too).

Grown siblings can't expect to be treated the same as one you're still raising. For one thing, they probably have more money now than they did 'back when'.

The older we get, the more we dolt on the little ones. I've noticed that as a sort of universal law.

Carol said...

"Assume he's going to go, then don't think about it again until it's time to happen. I think the less said, the better."

Chloe, I've already decided on that plan. The forget about it part is really difficult. I have a feeling, maybe wishful thinking, that he may be just putting on a big front.

Carol said...

Guys, the next time I mention doing something that you think is dumb would someone please tell me to think long and hard about it. You may have to spell it out in all caps. I promise I won't get mad. I really don't have any good sense.

Carol said...

Just finished watching Secretariat. That was a great story. I told ya'll that I worked at the race track near where SF lives for a little over a year. That was many moons ago and it was one of my moonlighting jobs. I did it because I enjoyed being around the track, watching the races and I needed the money to supplement my teaching salary at the University. Yep, being an assistant prof at a university didn't pay well enough to support a single woman.

When I told people that I worked as a track nurse, a few asked if I was a horse nurse. Hmmm, I never heard of a horse nurse but I would have probably preferred it to taking care of people. My main responsibility was to the jockeys and the public who attended the races but I was far more sympathetic toward the horses because if one got seriously hurt, they were euthanized. That killed me.

jan said...

Chloe, the grandson with the baby is the older brother of the grandson named after my brother. The grandson named after my brother is not married and TG does not have kids - he is definitely not ready to be a parent - but who of us has been ready to be a parent LOL.

jan said...

Carol, did you ever get that mexican food and margarita today? The issues with your SF sound so complicated.

jan said...

Carol, you are about the 5th person to say they loved the movie, Secretariat. I will have to rent it. Must be popular cause I never see it at Redbox.

jan said...

Well, my group of students has finished. I enjoyed them all. They were one of the nicest groups I have had. I won't have a group again although I will be helping another person with her group. It is not the same though - it will be great to not have to worry about being sure all 8 have experiences every clinical day.

I am going to Las Vegas to a nursing conference Tues. thru Sat. Taking John with me. He gets to have fun on this trip while I am shut up in a room hearing about nursings stuff. He used to take me when he did weddings out of town and I got to be the one having fun while he worked. I miss thse days.

jan said...

You are so right Chloe, the youngest ones in the family are the ones who get spoiled. Tae just expects everyone to pay attention to her. She is a really sweet kid though. When she was 2 she was a holy terror. John loves her now, but the other day he said that when she was 2 he didn't like her very much.

jan said...

Well, guess I will head to bed. See you all tomorrow.

jan said...

Coreen, Are you there? Night before last we watched an older movie on TV (made in 1988)- Mystic Pizza - took place in Connecticut. I thought about you and wondered if you had seen the movie. It was a good movie.

Carol said...

It's hard to imagine a 2 year old that would be difficult to like because they are sooo cute at that age but I'm sure it is possible. Was she really hyper?

I have trouble being around the really hyper kids, no matter what age. Especially the ones who seem to be possessed by a demon. When I run into one like that I feel so sympathetic to the parents.

Carol said...

There were a few things in the Secretariat movie that reminded me of my SF situation. I don't want to say anything so to not give the movie away. I assume you do know how it must end since Secretariat made history. Seems someone here mentioned seeing it. Was that you Chloe?

Chloe said...

No Carol, I haven't seen it, but will. We went to the track here in Houston pretty often for less than a year, but that about 12 or 14 years ago. I loved seeing those beautiful horses paraded close to on the path they took around so we could view them up close, before they entered the track. Such beautiful animals.

But then I started thinking of all of it as sort of a form of abuse. I know they're well loved and beautifully taken care of, but after taking care of my own (spoiled) horses for a while, I started to see it differently. I don't know why. Although one reason, is I see how much horses even hate to be trailered - of course, I talking about the ones who aren't used to it. But many are such excitable and nervous animals (especially thoroughbreds. And I've also seen some abused by uncaring people who raise them only to sell. Not all, but some.

I know that the race horses are treated beautifully, and that they know nothing different -- that they were born and raised to race. It's the only life they know, and I imagine most of them love it.

Maybe the Secretariat movie will change my mind.

Chloe said...

"I won't get mad. I really don't have any good sense. "

It hard for any of us to have a good sense of those problems that are most personal and close to us. I think that's part of what "... can't see the forest for the trees" is all about. We're too close and emotionally involved (overwhelmed, at times) with the things that are bothering us most.

I always like to have an outside opinion too.

Chloe said...

Jan, LOL at John's honesty, saying that as much as he loves GD now, he not like her as much when she was two.

All two year olds, by definition, are hyper - that's normal. I read the other day that they will 'never' be as active any other time in their life, as they are at two.

Emma is 'never' a demon though, and I know the ones you're talking about. I'd never be able to tolerate it. Like Jan said a while back, they sometimes call the 'terrible twos' the first adolescense. They're unable to communicate as well as they'd like to, and therefore get frustrated and act out in their so called 'temper tantrums'. Except now that I'm not older, I don't see it as a temper tantrum, as much as overload, complete frustration, and a need to be removed from the situation that is bothering them. I've also read that they only have two things in life that are important to them: 1. Exploring the world and 2. Having their needs met. The site I read it on, kiddingly (and seriously) said to be careful when you have to get between them and either of those two things. With Emma, I just remove her from the situation (room, whatever) when she feels out of control, and once she regroups (the same term I use for myself when I hit overload) it's only a short time and she's back to normal --- sweet, happy and playful. The only time she gets grouch is if she's overly tired or hungry. I think a lot of the kids we see acting out are chronically tired.

No doubt, they're a lot of work. I remember by age four, things are sooooo much easier. I think a lot of it is because you can communicate with them so well by then. That, and they've developed so much more 'impulse control' (that's what I'd call it). Two year old don't have a clue what that is, and if they did, they wouldn't be normal.

Carol, you're right about the fact that they are so cute at that age more than makes up for it. Emma's little morning school has been a big help. And I'll often stop at the glass door before I enter her room to pick her up, and look in at how cute they all are, playing together. The other day, the teacher was holding the little boy and watching the three tiny little girls (including Emma) playing with little toy vacuum cleaners, pretending to vacuum the circular rug in the middle of the room -- all very serious and working so well together). I can't tell you how heart warming and cute that was.

Chloe said...

It's always the little things.

I find that to be true each and every day -- whether its the birds or other wildlife, seeing the sunshine, watching the trees begin to bloom, or even a good meal. Sometimes just a feeling of oneness (they never last long) with everything in nature.

The list can be endless, but it's those special fleeting little moments that always end up mattering the most.

Chloe said...

I just put 'Secretariat' at the top of my dvd que.

I did see 'The Kids are alright', but never said much about it, because I was left with mixed feelings.

I felt like they left something incomplete to me -- I'm just not sure what.

Like you said Carol, it wasn't what I expected. It was advertised as a comedy, but really wasn't one.

Chloe said...

... I guess I didn't get my "... they all lived happily ever after" ending.

Carol said...

Chloe, now that you have seen the movie, I can make some comments about it. I was mad at the sperm donors because he did seem to be a neat guy and I hoped he would be able to have a relationship with his offsprings.

I was also aggravated with the partner who had the affair even though I understood what may have pushed her in that direction. Too bad she couldn't have found someone else to fool around with who wouldn't completely destroy a potential relationship with the donor.

And another issue is that why can't men and women have neat, even emotionally intimate relationships without having to complicate it with sex when that isn't appropriate in the situation?

And I didn't find a single thing funny thing about the movie. It was totally sad.

Carol said...

Oh, and even though the guy looked neat he thought he could just steal Annette's family from her and have an instant family, pretty much all grown up, without all the work and sacrifices to get them where they were.

Carol said...

And for Secretariat, I wish I could borrow some of Penny Chenery's courage, confidence, and risk taking spirit, well that would depend on whether I also could borrow her good luck when I took those risks.

Carol said...

And do you people, who are more expert at understanding men, think that many are capable of any intimate relationships with the opposite sex without having sex?

Chloe said...

"I was mad at the sperm donors because he did seem to be a neat guy and I hoped he would be able to have a relationship with his offsprings."

I agree with everything you said about the movie, Carol. I don't know why they had to invent that sexual relationship between donor and the partner/mother either. It would have been a better picture without that - it could have been more thought provoking.

Since they did decide to include an affair, then I don't think it was any more his fault than it was hers. I don't think he was looking for a ready made family, I think he fell in love with the kids, then fell in love with one of their mothers. They were both to blame. He just took it a lot more seriously than she did.

To her it was just a fling. A fling that ruined the possibility of any type of relationship with the children.

She was never even interested in him, except for a fling (that she couldn't quite figure out either, aside from her obvious marriage problems).

Chloe said...

And yes, I do think that many men are capable of an intimate relationship with the opposite sex without having sex.

Chloe said...

(ha ... even though it may be the woman that has to draw the line).

Carol said...

Thanks Chloe for your opinion. I agree that her motives were a little more selfish than his and it was her partner she was hurting. I think their relationship needed a wake up call but maybe something a little less destructive, like if we can't work this out, I'm out of here??

And if you take the affair out of the movie you then have a Disney type lesbian flick.

Carol said...

I just got back from Wally World and I'm fixing some lunch. I went there yesterday and just circled the store, round and round. After my time with SF, I was so lost I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to buy to eat. No appetite. It was in the afternoon and I hadn't even eaten all day.

I did manage to come up with some of those chocolate covered grahams and a little thingy of BB Moo. Last week I found myself with no sweets, at all, in the house. Good for the waist but bad for the psyche.

Today I went with a plan. I needed something easy and healthy. I came up with some new stuff and it has the appearance of being easy and healthy.

jan said...

I am glad you all are discussing the movie, The Kids....." I agree with everything you all are saying. I too thought it was a real shame that the affair happened with the kids bio dad. It might have been nice for the kids to have had a relationship with him. I was glad the 2 women were able to put their relationship back together. The only thing that bothered me was that the directors, etc. were so graphic with the hetero sex. I think they could have done without the graphic scenes. That way it could have been a movie that kids could have seen too. I actually don't like the graphic sex in movies. I was happy that it showed a healthy (well almost healthy) lesbian relationship.

jan said...

Carol, I was going to ask, what is BB goo - LOL. I think I know what it is now.

jan said...

I mean BB moo

jan said...

"I've also read that they only have two things in life that are important to them: 1. Exploring the world and 2. Having their needs met. The site I read it on, kiddingly (and seriously) said to be careful when you have to get between them and either of those two things."

Chloe, so very true. I think what led to John's statement was that when she was two - we had just moved here and shortly after that her parents when on a week long trip. They asked us and her parents and my son's oldest daughter (married) to "watch the kids (11 y/o girl, 15 y/o boy (DIL's kids from previous marriage) and 2 y/o. "they put together this elaborate schedule. John and I had the evening watch (at their house) from 5 pm until 10 the next morning. I came home from work exhausted and 2 y/o was exploring everything, including climbing on top of kitchen cabinets, etc etc. On top of this she was in a screaming stage. If she didn't get her way, she would scream at the top of her lungs until she either tired out or got her way. The other 2 kids were great.

Even her 1/2 sister (my son's oldest daughter) was not too fond of her either. There is still some tension there. As you might imagine by reading between the lines, this was all quite complicated.

Now, 7 years later, all is well. 2 y/o is now 9 y/o and very polite and sweet. But John and I have never forgotten that week - John especially.
She was with us when John had his first fainting spell almost 2 years ago. She held his head until the medics arrived and told him over and over again - Grpa please don't die. I love you so much. So now, she is his favorite GD.

jan said...

This technology is so unpredictable. I have not been able to get into my work e-mail from my mac book for a week, but have been able to get into it from my work-loaner laptop. So strange. Now, all of a sudden, I can get into it from the mac. I will never understand the technology.

Carol said...

Jan, there may also be some BB goo around here but I'm not going to eat it.

Carol said...

Actually Jan, I don't think any of the relationships in the movie were exactly healthy at least during the period they covered.

Carol said...

I have a comma that has gone nuts, anyone have any ideas? I do have a tendency to overuse commas but now it has a mind of it's own and keeps showing up while I'm typing.

Chloe said...

"I do have a tendency to overuse commas but now it has a mind of it's own and keeps showing up while I'm typing."

I've been sitting hear laughing to myself for the last couple of minutes over what you wrote there Carol.

I'm still laughing. Between that,and this: "Actually Jan, I don't think any of the relationships in the movie were exactly healthy at least during the period they covered."

.. that last one, I couldn't agree more with. LOL.

Chloe said...

Jan, I'm laughing at your story of baby sitting your two year old grand daughter back when, too. They can really test your patience. It sounds like you two found out exactly what happens when you get between them and what they want. Oh lordy, they are a handful.

It's easier for me, because I've raised her and can practically read her mind. I can't imagine how someone else would handle it.

Needless to say, I've developed a lot of patience. My patience has never been my strong point, but I had to learn fast - and I have. Enough to laugh about it now.

Thanks you two. I don't know why it all struck me so funny, but I loved reading what you both had to say.

Chloe said...

And Jan, I think all this technology stuff is just testing us. About the time we get it, they'll change it again anyway.

Keep's us on our toes.

jan said...

I think most relationships are tested if they last long enough, if not by affairs, by events that can be almost as devestating.

jan said...

"It's easier for me, because I've raised her and can practically read her mind. I can't imagine how someone else would handle it."

Chloe, when we took care of 2 y/o GD that time, we had just moved here and she didn't know us well and we didn't know her well. A recipe for disaster.

jan said...

I too thought from the ads that "the Kids..." was a comedy. Again, you are right - nothing funny about it.

jan said...

Are you wataching the Academy Awards? Kirk Douglas is on. can't believe he is that old. I guess people might say that about me too LOL>

jan said...

This is the first time we have seen most of the movies that are up for awards. I am glad I saw True Grit, The Kids..., The fighter, I didn't care much for The Social Network.

jan said...

Iliked Inception - but John didn't. He didn't get it - I am not sure I "got it." but I enjoyed the movie.

jan said...

Carol, how about some BB poo LOL>

jan said...

hmmm, you two don't think there was anything healthy about the relationship but I obviously thought there was - to some extent. Maybe that says something about me. I must have a high tolerance for problems in a relationship.

jan said...

I will close and reflect on these things.

G' nite.

jan said...

How could I forget "The King's Speech" It was a very good movie. It won 4 Oscars.

jan said...

Great ending to the 83rd Academy Awards. Some kids singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow"