Pa rode off into the sunset last night. He joined all his favorite critters up in the big pasture in the sky.
This is my favorite pic of Pa. He's standing holding Curley..not one of his favorite critters.
Curley is a registered quarter horse..one I bought as a little filly when a friend of mine was forced to sell off all her race horse stock.
Pa wasn't crazy about Curley because she came from race horse stock and he thought that racehorses wouldn't make a good cattle horses but she was his main working horse for a good many of his last cattle working years. She was a beaut but she was tall and Pa was short.
Pa married mom when he was 40 and she was 44. He was a single man up until that time. I couldn't be more thrilled since he was a farmer and I loved hanging out on the farm. Sometimes I think God put Pa in mom's life just for me because we got along much better than they did.
I was the son that Pa never had. I have lots of good memories of the time I spent out on the farm and I was out there on most of my weekends and holidays.. for many years..before I developed osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is pretty much a contraindication for being a farm hand. As a farm hand you have to be able to run and bounce..both which are out of the question with osteoporosis.
Pa and I often rode the range together. Pa wasn't much of a talker so when we were riding the range..I'd just pretend that I lived back in the old West days and I was pioneer seeing that land for the first time. I had a pretty good imagination.
When we worked cows together..he expected me to just know what I was doing like I'd been his hired hand all my life. I got pretty good at faking it. He'd tell me to go meet him at some gate out in the north forty while he rounded up some cows. I didn't have a clue which gate he was talking about and not much of a sense of direction but I learned to watch carefully for what direction he seemed to looking toward and headed that way until I found a gate. If I was wrong..he never mentioned it. He was also pretty tolerant of me.
And he did have a lot of confidence in me also. You heard my combine driving experience which only lasted two days because combine driving was not part of my destiny. Another time he sent me to the sale barn to buy him three bulls. He told me what breed he wanted but that was it. I got there early so I would have time to do some research. I quizzed some of the men who were also there buying bulls. I had done some reading on cattle like I do on everything that I developed an interest in over the years.
From my reading..I remembered that the shape and direction of their thingy was significant. That thingy is pretty important for a bull to do his job and that thingy needed to be pointed in the right direction. Yes..that thingy can be different in bulls..sometimes too high..or too low.. or just right. I must have done good because he didn't mention otherwise.
Y'all might remember some of my farmhand stories that I've shared here. They are some of the best stories I have and some of my happiest memories.
Pa had a real soft spot for animals..not much for people..but a good bit for animals. When we had to castrate the bulls..he had it done when they were very young and still with their moms. If it wasn't done early..it would be done when they were older.. when it would be more painful. Pa didn't like to be involved in the process so he would stand away and let his cow hands do it.
The young bull would be herded into a squeeze chute and then that chute was turned on it's side. I'd stand at the head of the chute..dancing around with my legs crossed and try to distract the calf. My theory was that if I scared them enough it might stimulate some endorphin secretion and that just might have some pain relieving quality. It is known that people don't even feel pain when they are in a high state of excitement. From the looks in their eyes..they were excited.
My older sister swore that I was going to get some bad cow karma from participating in those kind of activities..Coreen would agree. but I was a cattle woman and that was just part of the job.
Pa raised many a calf on a bottle. There was this one bull he was real close to and one day he saw that bull out in the field. He went up and tried to hug on him..not something I'd ever consider doing. It shouldn't have been something he considered either. That bull threw Pa about 10 ft up in the air and about 40 ft forward. He landed in a irrigation canal and ended up with a complete shoulder separation.
Over the years Pa had a number of parts separated..broken..misplaced and penetrated. I accompanied him to the hospital for all of them. He had the highest pain threshold of anyone I've ever seen. Something that would end most people's working days forever only slowed him down for a day or two. Sometimes I think he ever did it on purpose to get one day off.
When mom was sick and dying..I had to live out at the farm for almost a year. It was not a fun time to be on the farm even though I did manage to find a few laughs.
It was a very stressful time and my thyroid..that I had refused to get fixed so I wouldn't get fat..was in high gear. At the same time I was also coping with the crisis that developed from my working with that old doc who proved that some old men don't have good sense even when they're smart. Having to deal with the hell that involved two of the most significant things in my life..losing my mom and a threat to my career..I figured I cleared a lot of bad karma..and had a credit coming.
To cope with the stress I did a lot of writing..so much writing that it would make Gone With the Wind look like a short story.
I wrote about my nursing career..my experience taking care of mom..what it was like being trapped with a dysfunctional family and their dysfunctional dogs and my farmhand experience. It was a good coping mechanism..the only one I had. When I wrote about my farmhand experience..I'd read what I wrote to Pa. He did get a kick outta the stories.
But it was also a time when I came to realize that my hero..Pa.. did have some flaws..like we all do. I blamed my mom for the problems they had in their marriage but after having to live with him day after day..I realized that he was as much if not more to blame for their problems. I still carry some guilt for having blamed mom and unfairly..I was angry at Pa because I did.
As fortune would have it..I didn't know that Pa was very near the end yesterday. Mary tried to call me late last night..right at the end..but my phone wasn't with me. I have watched two of my parents in their dying struggle and that's enough parents to have to watch that struggle.
Anyway..I believe that the person dying..at the very end..doesn't want their loved ones watching. It's not a group activity..it's definitely something we have to do alone.
I also believe that in that state..the dying person can float around and see us wherever we are.
Mary's all mad..thinks that the NH should have done more to keep him hanging on. He was miserable and he had been ready to beam up for a long time. Pa is finally free. I celebrate his freedom and I will always have my very wonderful memories of our time together.
I wish I could convince Mary of that but then..she doesn't have the fond memories that I have.
The river is already back up to close to the level when I made my feather run last Saturday. It wasn't predicted to do that until next week. Ya just can't trust that NOAA site.
The wind is supposed to be a little gusty out of the north this morning but I don't see that right now. I need a good strong north wind to blow this river out.
Coreen..I'd appreciate it if you'd go outside and blow this way.
Carol, I too agree that we should not keep people hanging around who are near death. I am thinking about you today. It is hard to lose someone you love. You have great memories of him. I did not realize he and your mom were that young when they married.
Carol, I would love to read your autobiography. You could think of publishing it or some of it. I have not heard some of your stories of living on the farm.
You have a way of telling your stories - here -that are fun to read.
Thanks guys. Coreen..I didn't say send your wind..I said get outside and blow. I know you Yanks can be full of hot air. Just kiddin. (place a smiley face here or a scared face..whichever)
I left the house this morning in a big hurry..with bed hair and in my warm ups..didn't care what I looked like. I put a load of clothes in the wash and ran to Walmart for supplies.
I had to drive thru water but it was several inches below what I earned my feather doing. When I got home it was several inches below that..probably due to the north wind.
NOAA finally got a measurement of 5.3 close to 9A. Now they have the river going up to 6 ft by tomorrow. That's higher than feather level. Of course NOAA don't know what their doing. That's why I made notes and studied all the variables last time.
Jan...mom was working for the Dept of Public Safety selling license plates when she meet Pa. I guess he came in for a plate.
She thought he'd be a lot of fun and he was when they first got married but she didn't know how farmers are. The only thing they do is work. We'd even all go out to a club down the road where they had country music and dance.
Pa had beautiful eyes and a nice smile. He liked the ladies and when there was a nice looking woman around..he came alive. He even did that up until a few months ago. You remember how pretty mom was and she was until she got really sick.
He did try harder to be fun when he was younger but Pa really wasn't the man for mom. I think she just needed a man and I think she also hated herself for that. She even resented my big sister's independence because she was jealous. Daddy had only been dead for a couple of years when they married.
She did finally get to quit working and be a housewife though. She liked that.
One of the things I was angry with Pa for is that he had this delusion that when mom was gone he be able to find some young hot thing that would wait on him hand and foot. That happens to some old men. He was in a big hurry for her to die. I tried to tell him that he didn't have enough money for that but he blew me off.
He really started to mentally deteriorate when he could no longer work and when he finally realized that hot young women didn't want an old farmer.
Wow! They were married a long time. I think it happens that we meet someone and there is a quick attraction - and then after knowing them for a while, the attraction dies and if marriage comes too soon, there is nothing left. I speak from experience.
Not to say we don't have our disagreements. We can get really mad at each other and then I start thinking I would rather live alone. I have felt that way for maximum of about 12 hrs. It is funny how our emotions make us act in certain ways. One of the things I have learned over the years is not to make big decisions when I am feeling emotional. I usually go take a walk or go do something else that takes my mind off my strong feelings.
Carol, who is making decisions about Pa's funeral and burial. I bet you are much involved in that. You are going to be very busy for some time to come. I know you have other decisions to make too. Good luck with all that. Not an easy time. Take care of yourself.
Jan..Pa's nephew took over when we had Pa interdicted since I know nothing about farming stuff. When Pa took a turn for the worse..we talked it over and he made the funeral arrangements and decided which cemetery to bury him in. His sister in law wrote the obit and I gave her family info and that pic that I put up on the blog post. I'm not good at that sort of stuff and I didn't want to do it. If I wasn't already so overwhelmed with my work stuff I probably could. There's no brain left when I leave the joint.
We didn't have to do anything for mom except arrange a memorial service. She donated her body to the medical school. I think that was as close as she could get to being involved with medicine. Remember..she's the one who brainwashed me to be a nurse because it was her dream.
She also didn't want to be a bother.. or an expense for Pa..crazy woman.
I wrote up a very nice program for mom but I think big sis did the rest. She is good at that sort of stuff. In fact..don't get in her way.
In Pa's will..he left me in charge of his trust. I don't know how I will do that???? Don't have a clue. I may be giving Coreen a call for advice.. for what kind of attorney I need. Is that OK Coreen?? Sorry about the hot air comment. It was a joke.
I just talked to big sis and she's coming in. She will be a big help with some of the stuff we have to do or think about doing. She's looking forward to some warmer weather.
Carol, as to your sleep the last 3 nights, I think we are often not consciously aware of what is going on in the lives of people we are close too. You did mention a couple of weeks ago that he was not doing too well.
Carol, I am not meaning to change the subject, but I just posted a cartoon on FB from Keith Oberman that is pretty good. I shared it from a friend's facebook page. I really want you to see it.
And Jan..I was very aware that I was stressed over Pa. I hadn't even seen him in two weeks because of the flood and then playing catch up at work. Before the flood I was going everyday on my lunch. Last week I worked thru lunch to catch up. It poured yesterday and I didn't step foot out of the house except to run Mag out. I was going to go see him today..he didn't wait but I don't think he was even aware that I was there when I did go.
I hated seeing him when I did. The real Pa hasn't been in that effed up shell for quite a while. Even before he broke his hip.
I don't know how many times he told me he was ready to go..before he even left his house..Life had no meaning for him for a good while. His life was farming and taking care of his animals and when he couldn't do that..there was nothing left for him.
He wasn't in any danger of suicide because of his strong faith. I told him our time here is not determined by us..at least not while we're here..it is out of our hands. I was praying that God would take him. I do believe in a good afterlife.
Mary called me evil when I told her that but she was never close to him like I was. He called me his favorite step daughter and did that in front of my sisters. I'd cringe when he did. I told you he was a little socially retarded.
I think Mary may be more concerned that when she gets in that shape we may try to do her in. I told her..no such luck.. but I'd be sure she had plenty of comfort.
Hospice was keeping Pa comfortable but not like they often do with lots of pain meds but they did have him on a pain patch.
Loved the cartoon you posted Jan. What about the one of Mitt in the dog carrier? Maybe you can just tell me the name of your paper..but I might not be able to pull it up.
Jan..I liked your ducky video. I came home from work one day a good while back and had a bunch of baby ducks in my pool. No mother anywhere in site. I think something must have gotten the mother. I had a neighbor.. who has a pond in her yard.. come over. We netted them out and she took them home to her pond. She later told me that none survived. I'm not sure how long they might have been in the pool.
"I love your story of the bulls and picking out the best bull. That is hilarious. Wonder if part of that story relates to men too."
Jan..to answer your question..I'd say a big NO. Human men don't walk on all fours..at least they're not supposed to. I don't think you could use the same criteria even though..in my job..I've seen a few guys who would compare to some of the bulls I've met.
For someone who was never married..I've seen more than my fair share of thingies. That comes from all the time I've spent taking care of the men in prison/jail. Out of the 12-1300 inmates we have..all but about 100 are men. When I worked at the prison..it was all men. I prefer working with men. Those women will wear you out.
Some of my guys come in to medical just to show off their thingies. I have one guy who will come in for something else and before his visit is over..he comes up with some excuse to whip it out. It took me several visits to realize what he was up to but probably not as long as it would have taken you. I do remember how innocent and naive you used to be.
I did look at that guy's rap sheet and his charges did involve being a perv.
Last time that guy came in for something else..I dared him to whip it out!
Just last week I had this new guy come in who reported that he recently had penile surgery. He told me he broke it. I said..You broke it?? He said yes..his partner was large and he was being rough. I didn't really go any farther in my investigation there.
But I did mumble..did she have teeth in there? Then later I thought maybe it was tooth damage.
I did examine the specimen and it sure enough had a suture line all the way around the circumference. And on him..I didn't need to have on my cheaters to see it..if you get my drift.
If there's something weird/unusual out there..it usually passes thru my joint.
Carol, I cannot find the paper the cartoon was in. I don't know if it was in the "Albuquerque Journal" or the "New Mexico Daily Lobo" which is the university of NM paper. I try to clear out all papers each week in the recycle bin. The cartoon appeared in the past 2 weeks I fairly certain.
Did you see the post about on FB from the young woman chaplain about what people talk about most when they are dying? I loved that. I wish I knew how to bring stuff over from FB to here so Coreen can see what we are talking about.
I don't know about the innocent part - but I sure was naive. I don't think that is true any longer.
Death did scare me when I was younger. I even had anxiety attacks when I went to a funeral. I needed to make peace with it. I started that process early.
I remember the first patient I had who died. I was working the night shift as a student nurse..pretty much the nurse's aid role. The lady who died was relatively young and she died from a complication from gallbladder surgery. I don't think I ever found out what that complication was..I was just a nurse's aid.. working the night shift..absolutely insignificant.
It was pretty devastating. I remember clearing out her hospital room and thinking about how very alive she had just been.
My first nursing job was in ICU/CCU. People die there. It was my job to keep them from doing that but sometimes I couldn't. Once they passed..usually I let someone else do what was necessary to prepare the body. When I had to go out to talk with the family..there was no doubt what I was heading to do..I was like a member of the walking dead myself.
Over the years..through my studying and experience..I became more comfortable. I could easily work as a Hospice nurse now.
I had even gotten comfortable by the time I was moonlighting as a house supervisor. I had to go to all codes and keep records of all that went on. At times I would actually look up toward the ceiling and wave..but only if no one could see me do it.
That was mainly for anyone who's resuscitation was successful..which I prayed they all would be. You know how they talk about the dying person floating near the ceiling watching their own resuscitation process. If they were up there..I wanted them to know I knew it. True story.
Jan..another thing that interferes with my sleep is not knowing what that river out there is planning.
If NOAA is correct???..it's going to crest at 5.9. I think that is still in feather territory...which means I can escape.
I didn't see anyone parked out pass where the high water starts this afternoon so I'm guessing that many others are betting they'll be OK. They only thing is..you have to have a high truck to make that feather run.
Thinking about Pa tonight..I was remembering something kinda cute. He had hay barns in different places where he stored the hay. One was also a place where he fed his young heifers. I was out there with him and we were putting out some fresh hay.
I saw this battery operated portable radio. I asked what was that out there for. He had it out there to entertain his heifers. He had it tuned to country music...what else. I got a chuckle outta that.
Dang glad he didn't have it tuned to Rush Limpballs. Can you imagine the damage that would have done to their young minds..a bunch of radical right beef running around...dang dangerous.
I grew up in the country Carol and knew many farmers; they were all around us. Farmers had a great deal invested in their animals and often treated them better than their human family members. I did chuckle at your tale of your Pa and the radio.
I hope my penis stories didn't gross ya out? Are you OK? It's your fault Jan. I wouldn't have even thought about them if it wasn't for your question. I guess you're right about you're not being innocent anymore..you just looked it when I knew you. You can fool some of the people some of the time and that's usually good enough. he he he.
Yep Jan..Pa would treat his animals better than he did people but it really wasn't something he realized. I think he met the criteria for Aspergers. I had never heard of that until my big sis introduced me to it. She was an expert in learning disabilities. I remember us thinking that he definitely was an Asparagus..our little shared term for someone with Aspergers.
But that man was smart..and when he wasn't working his ass off out on the farm..he was reading. He read slow..always complained about how slow he read but he kept at it forever. Maybe his reading kept him from having to interact.
Pa would come in from his work on the farm..drag in whatever dirt was on his shoes and sit at the counter bar in the kitchen and read until he was served his supper. He devoured the paper like something might happen to him if he failed to finish it. And he devoured every magazine he got.
He must have retained all that knowledge because he could kick all of our asses in Trivial Pursuit..something I made them play back when I was spending weekends out there..before they had much on TV..they never had cable.
Remember that game..Trivial Pursuit? He really did well in history. That's when I realized just how smart he was because otherwise I wouldn't have known..he just didn't talk enough.
And Pa rescued every pitiful dog that came up...and ended up running over many of them..unfortunately. ..well that was a matter of opinion.
I've told you about Buster..the biter. That was his favorite dog because there were so many people he wanted to bite but couldn't. Buster even bit him a number of times when he was breaking up a dog fight.
Mom used to pray that that dog bit the dust because she thought that it was only a matter of time before someone sued them over Buster. I agreed. She celebrated the day that Buster died. Pa planted him in the garden and had a sign made up. Buster..my best friend. Mom smiled when she passed that sign.
And he let all his mangy mutts..full of dirt..in the house at times..and they weren't house dogs It was really bad when I was having to stay out there because I was having to do the sweeping..couldn't use the vacuum..the dog hair used up too much space. You could stuff a king sized pillow with it everyday.
My sister..nephew and I all had our mangy mutts out there too..but at least they were house dogs.
I'm not a good housekeeper..none of us except mom was and she was down for the count. I ended up doing much of the cleaning because it got to me first..my sister and nephew could hold out forever... they wore blinders.
The one time I did get my nephew to vacuum..he left it laying across a door way and my sister flipped over it and broke her right arm in a million pieces. Kinda took her out of much helping out. Can you see the extremes they would go to to avoid housework. I shoulda never asked.
I got a little more sleep last night. First thing I did when I woke up is go check the river. It is up several inches this morning from when I went to bed. I can tell by where it hits the wharves out there.
When I was thinking..now what was the level where I can still drive out??..I remembered that pic I took after doing my feather run. The one I posted here. I can look back on the blog and see that the river was a few inches over my highest wharf. Now that wharf is still just a tad above water...I'm still good.
That's one thing that is good about the blog for me. I can use it to help remember things.
At times..I've thought that maybe it was time to put "The Swamp" to bed..but then I think..how would I remember what I was doing on a particular day? I might need an alibi..and here..I have one. I just look back in the archives and I know just what I was up to. Hate to lose that.
Coreen..I know you're not a basketball fan but have you caught any of that Linsanity? The Knicks are a NY team. I think we all have a little of it.
Basketball used to be my favorite sport because it was so fast...never get bored. Baseball just the opposite..very slow. With ADD..I needed something that will keep my mind from wondering.
My favorite part of that video is when they were talking about Huckleby's comment to critcize Obama for his BC ruling. He said "...we are all Catholic now"
Amy responds..."do you know who are not all Catholic now???...all Catholics now..98% say they use BC and the other 2% are the ones who want to church to start a softball team"
Well.. I got a chuckle outta it.
I love Amy Poehler and it was fun to see her back on SNL..even if it was just for a visit.
I am laughing about your comment about penises Carol. I actually have not paid that much attention to men's penises even though this is my 4th marriage. I think the reason I asked that is because years ago I took a drawing (art) course and it was focused on drawing the human body. I was actually talked into taking the course by a girlfriend of mine who also lived here. We always had a model - both male and female. Started out drawing hands and feet and heads. Then one class the male model had on a robe and I sort of guessed what was to come. He dropped the robe. Over the course of the class that evening, he did some posing. Anyway, his "junk" as men often call it in the movies now - hung really low- very different than any man I had ever seen. When it was over and my girlfriend and I were talking about the evening, she said that her husband didn't look like that and I said my husband also did not. So, I guess that was why I asked the question. I actually have not seen that many men naked - as you might imagine. By the way I think I told you once before about my friend's reaction. When the model first dropped his robe, she caught her breath, like someone does when they are surprised very suddenly and it was heard all over the room. Then she would giggle every so often. I wanted to hit her.
Now what could I possibly add to the latest discussion!!....
Jan, you had 4 husbands...I think I missed one in your story-telling...but how about this, may have you beat...I have had 4 long term relationships...(each lasted maybe 8-10 years) every one of those guys is dead...really dead!!!...so does that make me a true 'black widow'....
Oh & of those 4, 2 were italian, one was irish/english, 1 was eastern european jewish...so if you want to talk about men's anatomy....think circumcised & you guys likely know more about the medical aspect of that procedure....
As far as the male body...do you think that most women find it beautiful?, something to welll go ga,ga over...
Funny how the female body is the one most glamorized by society...Is that as a result of it always being an absolutely male dominated culture?...
As far as the BC dustup...again I still am not sure what it has morphed into....from the catholic church not wanting to pay/subsidize something that violates their tenets to those saying its a woman's right to bc & it should be free to all...
& all the talk about how many women use BC...
Those women I grew up with (many Catholic, some Jewish, not so many protestants)...I am what I consider a 'retired catholic' since I don't attend church often....or pay much attention to any religious talk...were raised on the pill & those that didn't...often wound up pregnant, married at a young age & more often than not divorced just as quickly as their 'romance' started/ended...
Linasity is alive & well in these parts...Could not ignore it if I wanted to...
Was a big Knick fan during the late 60s naturally (when Bradley, debusshere, clyde fraser & willis reed played & beat the Lakers (1969)in a memorable game when Reed their great center got injured but walked on the court in NY to thunderous cheers (but if you were a Knick fan then, you didn't see this amazing event as it was not on TV that night you could only here it on the radio here!!!...how much sports telecasts have changed)...
& when Patrick Ewing played(the 90s)...you probably don't remember they almost won it the year the oj saga mesmorized the country & the 'white car' chase interrupted one of the knick playoff games that year...I remember it all too well!!!...
Each time Lin has spoken he has been very humble & repeatedly attributes the winning to a team effort...what is said that there is certainly a hint of racism being spouted by some of the moronic sports talkers....
They play again this p.m. against the cross town rivals (the ineffetive Nets)....Yesterday's win was very well-received as it was against the defending champions...
Coreen, glad to see you back here. I think it is great you have interest in some sports and enjoy that so much. I appreciate your sharing some personal stuff here. Sometimes I wonder if you get tired of hearing Carol and I talking about so much personal info.
Coreen..I had forgotten that Jan was on her 4th marriage..I'm not sure I ever did know that. All I still remember was 3. Jan...who was the other one?
Corren..I remember you're telling us about the mortality rate of your spouses. Did you decide that was enough?
As far as the aesthetics of genitalia goes...I think men's are far more pleasing to the eye than women's. But...I think it's more interesting when there is something left to the imagination.
One of those women's mags..years ago..had this photo showing guys..with erections..in different kinds of underwear and shorts. That was quite interesting.
It could have been Playgirl but before I ran across that one I found Viva. Remember that one? I have the Collector's Edition of that magazine. Does that make me a perv??
Both Playgirl and Viva came out in 1973. Viva was a little less obvious with their pics..at least when it first came out. Left some things to the imagination. I think the pic I was talking about was in that magazine.
I looked at both strictly for medical purposes. I did have to teach physical assessment. Oh..I didn't start that until 1976. Well....I'm sure I had some good reason but can't remember it right now. I do like to draw.
Ya know..I've been doing some more pondering..and I realized that I got to have two daddys. I guess I was blessed. My first daddy died when I was only 21 and he was sick with cancer for at least the last 8 years of his life.
You don't always appreciate fathers when you're young and my first dad was a little scary at times. He didn't have any patience and with me and my twin sister you needed a lot of patience.
I was also the son he never had. He took me fishing but he didn't tolerate the fact that I frequently got my fishing line caught up in the trees. He just got mad too easy.
When we would go the YMCA..he made me do tricks off the diving board..tricks I didn't want to do but I didn't want to disappoint him. My twin sister would just hover in the corner of the pool crying. He left her alone. I thought about trying that but that was just too much work. It was easier to just do that back flip. I'm sure I did do some crying if I didn't hit the water just right.
But he did have one really great thing about him..he let us have some freedom. If it was left up to mom..we would have been locked in a closet to keep us safe from harm.
Daddy let us take his car out on the weekends to have fun. If he would have known what we were up to..he'd have let mom lock us in that closet. Glad he never found out.
When Pa came into my life..I was all growed up and ready to appreciate another dad. He was patient and tolerant..like I have mentioned before.
With both dads treating me like the son they never had..I'm surprised I didn't grow a beard. Well..recently I do plug a few whiskers from my chin but I think that's just old age..but maybe not.
Carol, those chin hairs are normal and some due to aging. I had some most of my life. Plucked em with tweezors. I did not like the waxing I also had very dark thick leg hair. That is a family trait. We women in my family bemoan the fact that we have to shave our legs so often.
1st husb - teen marriage - 3 1/2 years - just long enough to have 2 boys. 2nd husb - the abuser - marriage less than a year - scary. He beat me badly once - came after me with a gun - bosses/docs took the gun from him. He also stalked me for 17 yrs (that I knew about) 3rd - 21 years - adopted my 2 oldest and we had a son 4th- John
Carol, John and I went to see "The Artist" this afternoon. A very good movie. I think the little dog was our favorite. The young woman who became an actress in the movie looked like your mother to me. If you see pictures of her - see what you think.
I had a guy come over..who lives out here..one of our own..a river rat..to work on things that needed to be done around here.
There were these particularly challenging places that needed finishing. I've told other guys I've had out here to fix them but they never got around to these places. I think they were too much of a challenge.
This new fellow came up with the solutions to those challenges and did a really good job.
He got about half of the work done today and will finish the rest this week.
I've been a little scared of getting everything finished. I'm afraid it might be an invitation to a hurricane or really high flood.
Carol, the actress that was on the view was not the one I meant. The one that was on the view played the wife and she was just in the first part of the movie. The one that was in most of the movie was younger and prettier. I don't know her name.
I just looked outside and the river is up about another 4 inches since this afternoon. I think it is above where they predicted the peak. They certainly don't do any measurements often enough.
I'm sure it is over feather level. Now I have to worry about getting out and getting big sis in tomorrow evening and then getting us both out for the Rosary Wed and the funeral Thursday.
Well..I looked outside and my wharf bumper guards are at full erection..something my neighbor and I recognized when the flood water was up around 6.5 feet last time.
Those bumper guards are usually hanging down over the wharf and their purpose is to protect a boat or the wharf when a boat is parked up against it. Now they are pointed straight up.
I was using all kinds of indicators to determine the water level last time. I don't have any accurate ways to measure water level and NOAA hasn't been a big help here.
When I made my feather run Saturday..the bumper guards were almost laying down flat on top of my wharf which means the water level was lower. I had to look back at the pics I took at the time to see that.
My Toyota is a little taller than the average truck of that size. It will most likely be able to make this water level if it doesn't get any higher. Only problem is that it is very effy and levels can change in a very short time.
It will also require someone with skill and balls which I have neither. I might be able to fake that..in the full daylight but no way after dark.
The Rosary is after dark on Wednesday and on Thursday..there's a 50% chance of rain and a strong south wind predicted for Thursday. Just like a strong north wind can blow the river down in a short time..a strong south wind can blow up it up in that same time.
It seems that my only safe..available option is to pack up stuff..and the Magster and move out.
My house is not prepared for anyone to live there right now. I cleared out everything when I had that roomy. And since I had someone painting there..all the furniture in my bedroom is shoved into the middle of the room. But....it does have hot water!
Well..sis is in and I'm back at my house. I think it missed me. It's interesting how things happen for a reason.
When I got up and saw the river I got scared. The water was closing in on what it peaked at last time and I couldn't afford to be land locked this time.
I put it in high gear and started packing up. I didn't want to have to do all the work it would require to move out but I had no choice.
My house had nothing except furniture and other crap that I wasn't going to move out. I had to clear it out everything else because roomy had to have room.
I packed up everything like I was going on vacation but also packed up what food I would need as not to starve to death. It was more like I was going camping for a week.
My nurse friend called and offered to help me move my lawnmower and golf cart out. He was concerned that the river might come up enough to put those things in jeopardy. He's not a worrier like I am so when he worries..it makes me a lot more nervous.
He had already moved his vehicle to higher ground. He came to get my truck and attached my little garden trailer to it to move my lawnmower out. We rode to the house and he drove thru the water. It was higher than when I did my feather run.
Then he switched to his larger utility trailer to take my golf cart. The golf cart wasn't working so he had to use a couple of come-a-longs to wench it up into the trailer. Sweat was pouring.
He helped me load up all my stuff to take. I fed my birds and blessed owl camp with the sign of the cross.
When we got to my house I asked my friend to help me move some furniture in my bedroom. Another friend had painted the living room and was planning on painting my bedroom. She moved everything into the middle of the room and covered it with plastic. That's how it was left.
When we went into my bedroom to move the furniture back into the correct position..I noticed that one of my French doors in the back of the room was open! OPEN! It was about 2 inches open. Don't know how that happened or how long it had been open.
If I make a house check..which I do every now and again..I couldn't see that door because of everything stacked in the center of the room.
What could have gained entrance?? If it were animals..there would have been evidence. What about a s----???
Nothing was missing or messed up so I don't think ther was any break in. The door was damaged a good many years back..too long a story.. but it closed. I never used the door. I had a treadmil pushed up against the door but that was moved when my friend was preparing to paint.
I know the door was securely closed but hadn't seen it in a while. I really think that it couldn't have been open for long or some critter would have pushed it's way in. Maybe my cats were guarding it??
I started thinking...maybe there was a reason that I had to move over here?? If I hadn't..I would have never found that door open and eventually something would have coe in. God..she does work in mysterious ways..
After I got my heart back where it belonged and we moved the furniture..I headed to Walmart to get some things I needed..like most of the things you would need to set up house.
I picked up sis at the airport at 5 and we came back. I had to make another run to Walmart for a few things I forgot to get the first time.
We got home..settled in and I cooked up some salmon and made a nice salad with all of my favorite ingredients..except Feta. Dang it..I forgot the Feta. I'm pretty OC about my salads!
It's actually nice to be home. No satellite TV though. I have a big screen TV here but only have air antenna. Not much comes in out here except PBS..3 channels of it and NBC..3 channels of the local station. More might if I adjust the rabbit ears.
Big sis doesn't even have TV at her house so she found some interesting stuff on PBS..the Create channel. After eating..I finally got to put my feet up. It's weird..my feet/ankles have been hurting so much lately and today..I did all that work and crip walking and it's the best they have felt in a long while. Kinda strange how things happen..huh?
Now I have insomnia. I better get back to bed and try to sleep because I have to go to work tomorrow. The visitation and Rosary are tomorrow afternoon/evening and I'll take off Thursday. I can't afford to take off tomorrow after being off two days already and needing to take off Thursday.
If I've made a lot of mistakes in my writing..it's because I left my cheaters in the bedroom and don't want to make a lot of noise going for them. I'm kinda blind typing.
One more thing. I looked at the weather for Thursday on Wunderground and it said it was going to be 88 on Thursday?? That must be a mistake... but..then Pa didn't like cold weather.
Accuweather report south winds 20 gusting up to 48 during the day. That would definitely blow up the river.
Thanks for the link Coreen about Buddy. I'm kinda outta the loop right now..from the news. Maybe if my Buddy gets a third party nom..he can get into a debate. That's what I really want. I want him to stir up conversation.
It's closing in on the end of a very exhausting day. I barely made it thru work today. Those 3 hours of sleep I got last night didn't exactly refresh.
At the end of the day at work today I was going thru and signing charts. I blinked a couple of times and momentarily lost consciousness.
After work sis and I went to the visitation and Rosary. Pa didn't look like the guy in the casket at all. I chose to see him up and hanging out around his old friends instead. I did enjoy seeing all the peeps who I haven't seen in years.
His nephew and his nephew's SIL did a good job setting things up. We got there close to 5 and the Rosary didn't start until 7. By then I was really worn out.
Lord forgive me but I turned down the light on Iphony and Googled..how long does a Rosary last? I feel sure God is the only one who noticed and I hope he is forgiving.
The answer popped up with about 20 minutes if they didn't include thus and such. I prayed they didn't. It did only last for about 25 minutes.
Y'all know I am a fan of the "Virgin"..but after about 20-30 of those Hail Mary's..I think we've made our point and I even think She gets it. Just for the record..I'm not a Catholic.
Carol, so glad you moved to the house. Yes, I believe in synchronicity - ie. your open door. This was supposed to happen. You have good friends/neighbors who helped you get your outdoor machinary out of there. I thought about you this evening and your seeing Pa. I never like to see them after death. I too like to remember them in happy times. In the religious beliefs I grew up in they always had an open casket at funerals. Not me! I do not want people to see me dead. I suppose the visitation and viewing is what is usually done. We did not have a viewing for my dad, and I am glad.
I hope you sleep better tonight. This is a difficult time. I am thinking about you.
The reason I got those three hours of sleep is because I overslept. An alarm clock is something else I forgot to get. Iphony has a good alarm so I set it for 5a.
If you noticed..I didn't get off here until 3a so that only gave me 2 hours left to sleep if I could even manage to get to sleep.
Before getting back on the blog..I really did try to sleep. I was tired enough but between big sis snoring and Maggie growling at something..I couldn't.
Every time Maggie growled..I was sure she found that s---- that might have gotten in. I'd get up and check. She was just looking out the French door windows and spying something out there.
When I went back to bed I changed my alarm setting from 5 to 5:30..added another 30 minutes. Only problem is that I forgot to turn it on.
Big sis woke me up this morning asking if it didn't look a little light outside. I checked and it was 6:27. I tore outta bed and had to rush to get ready with no time to ease into it. Hate it when that happens.
Something else I forgot to carry over here was mousse and hairspray. I had it bagged but must have left it behind. My hair needs both. I did eye some spray starch on the ironing board and for a minute I considered trying it. Nahh.
Well..I woke up at 4a. Got to sleep a little after midnight. I tried to tune into C2C but it even wanted me to go to SLEEP because it wouldn't work right.
I have to have something to listen to when I go to sleep..it keeps me from stressing over things. No TV in my bedroom anymore. Big sis was glad about that.
You may wonder why sis and I are sharing the same room. Well..I stuffed everything I cleared outta the house for roomy into my other two bedrooms but my remaining bedroom is a big room and it has a king sized bed.
Maggie has her own pillow in the middle between sis and I. She was a little on the squirmy side until I realized I didn't have her a pillow in there. When I got her one..she propped up there and settled down.
I decided not to do my little testimony at the funeral today. Well..the Universe decided that for me since I would have had to print something out and no printer here. I'm kinda glad..that's an added stress I didn't need today.
I wish I coulda slept longer. I have some old Ambien at the camp. It's a prescription I got back in 2007 when my thyroid was still in overdrive. I wonder if it's still Ambien after all that time??
I only took it when I just had to get to sleep and only 1/2 at a time. All those stories about people sleep eating and sleep walking made me nervous. I kept imagining that I might find myself out sleep walking on water and forgetting to wear my life jacket.
Coreen..I noticed a new cat in the yard yesterday. There have been hundreds of cat that have hung out here since I've had this place. I think people knew what a sucker I was and dropped them off here.
I think I told you that my Vet had a file just for me. He had them listed as "Lucky Kitty" with a number behind the name.
Once..I ended up with all these wild cats out here. I couldn't catch them to get them spayed. The bunch of them all had litters at the same time and I ended up with 5 litters but I put an ad in the paper and got rid of all of them.
One day I had a friend out here who had never seen my place. I was showing her my yard. She pointed at something and asked..and what is that? I looked and it was a cat..one of the wild ones..with it's head stuck in a jar. It must have stuck it's head in that jar to get something out and couldn't get it out.
I freaked. I'm good with patients in crisis but useless with animals. I got a towel to hold the cat and tried to get that jar off. My friend suggested I break the jar and I told her she was crazy.
I wrapped the cat in a towel and rushed it to the Vet. My Vet..who WAS good with animals..just grabbed her by the nap of the neck and pulled the jar off. I kinda felt stupid.
I kinda think some of the cats who I'm feeding now have homes somewhere else in the neighborhood but drop in to visit.
I think you made a good decision - not to do a testimony. Why make more work for yourself. You can tell him what you want him to know through telekinesis. He will get the message.
I took the evening off yesterday. Was just too exhausted.
The funeral was nice. The Priest seemed to be directing much of his talk to me..at least he was looking my way. Maybe it was just my imagination.
Somewhere in his talk.. he was saying that we weren't looking forward to leaving this world..that we all wanted at least 20 to 30 more years.
I was shaking my head NO. My body won't hold out 20 to 30 more years and I don't want to deal with what Pa had to deal with.
I think that Father did a good job on the service. I like him. I told y'all that I thought of becoming a Catholic. It was the year after mom died and it was part of my grieving process. It was mom's church. I'd drive to where mom and Pa lived and go to church with Pa.
I kinda liked the rituals of the Catholic church...even the pain involved in all that kneeling down. I have very bony knees and it is very painful for me to kneel. I considered it part of paying for your sins.
And I'd sing. Many Catholics don't participate in the singing..I've noticed. I don't think it's been around their church for as long. I was raised Methodist...and we sing.
It was good that I had something to do since they didn't let you participate in the communion..which I think is a tad on the mean side and a right bit unneighborly.
I learned..in my church..that you're supposed to share..I learned that along with similar concepts. It was a significant part of what I learned in church. But as a Catholic..you have to belong to the religion to share at the communion table. Hmmm.
I overlooked their stinginess and decided that if I was going to continue to go to the Catholic church..I'd better become a Catholic. I signed up for class and got Pa to be my sponsor. He was proud. I knew he would be.
I drove that 40 mile..round trip..to go to the classes once a week. Everything was going pretty good until one day..one of the ladies conducting the classes mentioned that her lady group was praying a Novena for George Bush to win the election. What.. I thought?? I'm in the wrong church. I need the church of the John Kerry. So..I dropped out of Catholic class. I still went to church and just sang louder.
After the funeral..we went to the cemetery to plant Pa. He loved planting and I know he would love being part of the earth. It was what his life was all about.
After that..we headed back to the church for lunch. Some ladies fixed up lunch. That was real nice. I saw that Novena praying for Bush lady. I wonder if she ever realized that she was the one who ran me off.
I got a long 5 hours of sleep last night. I almost feel groggy from all that sleep.
I decided to sleep on the couch. My sis and I talked about the incompatibility of our sharing the same room. She said that I also snore. I haven't noticed that because you do that when you are sleeping and I haven't done much of that lately.
I did get about 3 hours the night before. I told you I tried to listen to C2C to put myself to sleep. Sis said that it wouldn't bother her. She lied. I thought that it didn't work but it must have and it must have put me to sleep. I slept for as long as it was on and woke up when it finished. The program lasts for about 3 hours. Sorry sis.
Sis said that she couldn't sleep because of the noise from C2C. She shouldn't have lied to me. I told her I couldn't sleep without listening to something and snoring didn't qualify.
I said I would sleep on the couch. I like sleeping on the couch. Mine is comfortable and if I wake up..I won't disturb sis. She offered to do it also but I wanted to instead.
When I stayed with mom for that year..I slept on an old sectional couch. Everyone else.. but me.. had a bed and a room. I didn't mind because it kept me close to mom.
The couch was in the living room with mom. We had her bed placed in the living room because she was pretty much confined to it and we wanted her to be where she could be the center of our attention.
I don't mind sleeping on a couch but that sectional was an old curved sectional. That wasn't so bad when I slept on one side..but hell when I turned over to the other side.
Yesterday we went over to Pa and mom's house after everything was over. Pa didn't use that living room so he closed it off. I hadn't been in there either for years..almost 10 years.
We went in there yesterday. On the lamp next to where we placed mom's hospital bed was an old calendar. It was turned to July..2003..the month and year she died. Kinda hit me in the heart.
What is kind of ironic..I was talking with sis this morning and she reminded me that John Kerry was a Catholic..and I remembered that George Bush was a Methodist. Interesting huh?
Funny thing about sleeping. I have to have a room that is dark and quiet and cool to sleep good. We have a little finished basement and it is cool down there all year. We have a good air cond system but when it gets hot here - it will run most of night if kept on. The basement does not need it though - it stays about 70 degrees down there most of time in summer without AC. So we moved our bedroom down there a couple of years ago so we can turn off AC at night. A lot of people here have water cooled ac which is cheaper on elect. but you leave windows open and John and I both have allergies so bad and that did not work.
When I was in doct program in Austin, I shared housing with several friends over the 4 years I was there. One friend had to have her TV on all night to sleep. It was an apt that you could hear the TV all through the apt so that did not work well for me. I always enjoyed living with friends though. I don't like living alone. I shared a house with 3 other people for one year and we got along great. We each had our own bedroom and shared 2 bathrooms. We were all doct nurs students so it was fun - lots of gossiping.
The last year I was in Austin, I shared a condo with a friend and her 12 year old daughter. That worked out fine too. I did have an apt by myself for one year and it was ok as there were several other stus in surrounding apts in same complex so we got together often.
I was a Methodist for years and then the first time we moved to Albuq we began going to an Episcopal church in our neighborhood. I was confirmed in the Epis church at that time. I really like this church as the beliefs fit more how I look at religion and the world. It is the US version of the Anglican church of England. We have a lot of the same rituals of the Cath church. Some differences are we do not follow the Pope, priests can marry, communion is for all people who are baptised (John invites all people to the table -baptised or not). We have women priests, in fact our Presiding Bishop (head of the Epis church) is a woman (1st ever).
very interesting thing about going into the living room and seeing the calendar and the page was on July, 2003. Those kinds of things can hit us pretty hard.
Three months before my mother died, my oldest son Bill and his wife were married in Butte Montana. We all flew there for the wedding including my mom and dad. They had a photographer who took lots of pictures. The wedding was in Oct, my mom died in Jan - 3 months later. In April, Bill sent me a bunch of pictures of the wedding. There was my mother in several of them. Seeing those pictures in april (and not expecting to see my mom in them) knocked me to my knees on the floor. I bawled like a baby.
Coreen..you asked if Maggie gets along with Fiddler. She does. There's kinda a caution curiosity between the two right now. When I take Maggie out she runs for Fiddler full force then puts on the brakes about 4 feet before she gets to her. Fiddler doesn't budge. They both creep forward and sniff a little then they move apart but walk in parallel with each other.
If Mags stayed here much longer.. I think they'd be good friends. Mags loves cats. When she was younger she had a very good cat friend but the cat lived outside.
When the cat came in they played too rough and knocked things over. I put the cat out after some rough horse play one night. When I called her to come back in..she didn't come. The next morning when I was leaving for work..I found the cat dead in the road. I came back in and took the day off and we cried. I think it was the first day I ever took off from work at the joint. I told them I was sick..and I was.
Coreen..I've noticed the gusty winds haven't gotten there yet but they did say it would be after midnight. Better batten down the hatches before you go to bed.
Jan..you were talking about living with your fellow students and gossiping.
I remember when we first started our study group. We did about 95% gossiping and 5% studying. It was the most I ever studied. I never learned to study before and my grade reflected it.
In high school..I thought it was good enough to just carry my books home and sleep close to them. I guess I thought I'd get the info in them by osmosis. Wasn't a great plan.
Carol, I remember our study sessions. I think the years that I went to school were some of the best years. I think that is so because of the friendships.
Today..we are suppose to head back to the camp. I'll miss my house..I enjoyed getting back here for a visit. I think it was also happy to see me.
When sis agreed to come down..she said all she wanted was to see the Academy Awards. We can't do that here..can't tune into that network on antenna here. She doesn't even have TV at her home. She does watch videos though..she loves movies. The most I see is when she comes for a visit.
Coreen..I saw when I got up that your winds hadn't gotten there yet. I see that they may be getting close. Can't trust the weatherman. Like you told me yesterday..they just won't look outside. That's the only way I can tell what the weather is gonna do.
It's weird how there seems to be no predicting the weather these days. I watch my weather site and every 4 hours..they have changed their minds..and then it isn't right either.
And thanks Coreen for the advice. Everyone needs a Yankee lawyer friend. And girl..if you lived closer..we could have a hoot of a time hanging out together..even though we don't have a dang thing in common.
Glad to hear your river is calming down & letting you get back home...
So far today the winds here are brisk, but not yet enough to cause major disruptions in electricity...keeping my fingers crossed & my flashlights nearby for the rest of the day...(hope Murphy's law doesn't visit since my generator is ready, but not 'on line' for another 2 weeks, company is so busy they are scheduled to come & program it the beginning of March)....
I didn't get blown over throwing the birds their seeds this a.m....
sun is out, roads have dried but there is still snow cover about an 1" on the grass & sides of road...
I hope those weather people put their collective heads out a window & actually see what outside is like & stop relying solely on their computer models...
I had 10 y/o GD last night. Her parents wanted to go out for dinner with friends.
I enjoyed having her. She is a delightful little one. I took her out to eat and she picked out Sweet Tomatoes. I like that one too as I like all the veggies.
So you have an idea of what CT was like way back when there were mfg jobs for so many...yesterday the Connecticut Post had this front page story about the tearing down of the GE bldgs in Bpt...
Please read & look at the pics...pics 2, 4, 7 remind me of when my mom worked in those bldgs...
you may remember I mentioned that my mom was vice president of the GE union... >a href="http://www.ctpost.com/local/article/Brick-by-brick-massive-GE-plant-is-3357552.php#photo-2535454">Vanishing history</a/<
Remember Carol my family history has been tied to both the success & failure of GE over the years...
Mom still gets a 'real' pension from GE...& over the years way back then she was smart enough to have purchased stock, so I am not definitely not anti-GE!!!....
GE corporate offices is at the bottom of the hill from my home (4 miles)...where I take those Christmas tree pics of the sister tree that GE decorates in DC every year...
Carol, I know you have other things occupying your time, so here's some fuel for the fire...
latest liberal & main stream media complaint about romney, he has the nerve to own 4 cars!!!...
his wife drives 2 cadillac srx's (one at each of their homes) he drives a ford mustang & a chevy pick up truck...
Hey so what, all are American cars!!!...
& by the way the cadillac srx is a great looking crossover...I looked at the srx but being short, I would be pulling myself up into it & stretching to get out too many times in a day & would wind up hating having to do that...
Coreen, like Carol's big sis, I love movies. I can sit through a good movie - but not a bad one. 2 1/2 hrs is about my limit though. I do not go to the 3-D ones. I have tried to see as many of the movies nominated for Oscar's as I can. I have seen The Artist, War Horse, Midnight in Paris, Hugo, the Descendents. My favorites were the Descendents, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, War Horse (in that order). Although everyone is singing the praises of the Artist - I didn't care much for it.
There are some I wanted to see but are not at the theatre any longer like The Debt and The Tree of Life. We have a DVD player, but I have misplaced my cables to it. I could rent the movies and watch on my computer but I don't like to watch a movie that way.
I like the movies best that are about human interest issues. I am not into action movies. I do like psych thrillers but sometimes I worry about my heart - if it starts beating too fast - I get a little scared. I have a little heart condition - not serious - but it has to do with the electrical conduction and I don't want it to go into an arrythmia. Once in a while I have a panic attack and it starts beating too fast and I start thinking about going to the emer. room. Years ago, I had a fever with bronchitis and the doc prescribed an antibiotic I had not taken before. I fell asleep after taking the 1st dose. I woke up and my heart was beating really fast. Scared the s*** out of me. I lived close to the Med center. I jumped in my car (probably a stupid thing to do) and drove myself to the ER. Sure enough it was tachcardia and my BP was out of sight. The resident there started an IV of benadryl and you could see on the monitor my heart rate just started gradually coming down. I have never figured out if it was truly an allergic reaction to the antibiotic or if it was a panic attack and being at the hosp relieved the anxiety. I don't want to test that so I won't try that antibiotic again.
Coreen, fascinating story about the GE bldg coming down. It is great that they described how the bldg was taken apart and what they have done and are doing with the materials. Too bad about those pine floors - you would think they could remove those so they could be used again.
Interesting too how your family history is tied to GE.
My family history has been tied to American Airlines. At one time my dad, 1st husb and brother in law were employed there. Most of the people in my little town in OK worked at AA - which was only about 3 miles from the town. Now only one of my nephews works there.
Jan..had your thyroid checked? I had mine in overdrive for 20 years and no one checked it. Remember in college my heart rate would go up to 300bpm at the drop of a hat.
I was diagnosed with a cardiac pre-excitation syndrome while in grad school and anxiety earlier in life..don't think either were my problem. I think it was my thyroid all the time.
I finally asked my Gyn to check my thyroid level and that was it. I even had a stress test once because my heart was doing tricks and my Internist.. at the time.. didn't check my thyroid.
And do you take a beta blocker? It will keep your heart from jumping into overdrive. I took them for years to keep my rate down. The cheap one I took for years and still take is atenolol.
OK. Good. It's strange though that your heart rate goes up enough to make you uncomfortable..even with anxiety. You should be in good cardiac conditioning with your walking and swimming.
We're back tucked in at the camp. We rented Dolphin Tale and enjoyed it.
Earlier we went down to a local pub for a little gathering for a guy who recently died. He was my neighbor's cousin and he lived several camps down when I first bought my camp.
He rode out Rita out here and lost his roof. His camp was pretty rickety before the hurricane. I'd have been nervous in it during a thunderstorm. I was scared in a concrete and steel building during the hurricane.
He continued to live in his camp..with only one of those blue roofs for years. A blue roof is just a big piece of plastic. The place was so beat up that he finally had to move in with my neighbor/his cousin. He moved back into town a couple of years ago.
He died of lung cancer a couple of weeks ago. He never would go to the doctor..and when he finally did..it was too late.
Guys..this is a phenomena that occurs every time my sis comes to visit. I think I might have mentioned it before. I've never seen anything like it and I'm not sure what to do about it.
When sis comes over..Maggie sleeps with her. Everything seemed to be OK this time.. while we were sharing a room but the moment I moved out..Maggie won't let me back into her bedroom. She's like a dog protecting a bone from another dog. She's growling and showing teeth to ME..her loving mama. The mama who cooks her fresh food and hasn't left her to go on vacation. It doesn't make a bit of sense.
I try not to show it but it breaks my heart. It bothers big sis also. She feels for me. She tries to come up with excuses but they don't help.
I tried dealing with it in a couple of ways..first ignoring it..then..trying to fuss at her. The fussing made it worse. I think I'd have to damage her to stop it and that's not worth it.
I'm not sure if I need to consult a doggy shrink or an exorcist. I do have some Holy water that Mary..my sister..brought back from Mexico. It's in a plastic "Mary"..not my sister..bottle. I wonder if it has an expiration date? And..I wonder if my comments about the Catholic church would dampen it's effectiveness?
Anyone have a thought here? I could use Ivy..and her doggy psychology advice even though the.. give a doggy treat when it's thundering... didn't work. Maggie can be a hard core case. I'm kinda thinking I may have gotten a psychotic dog this time. I'm not sure what kind of trauma she might have endured before I got her.
When my sister has locked her out of her room..she reluctantly comes back to me. Yeah..like I want to be a second and final choice. We can't lock her out right now because I have the heater in my room and it's cold outside.
I've thought that maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me to break my addiction to that dog but would you reject your child if they treated you like sh--? I doubt it.
I'm certainly glad I didn't incubate a child for 9 months..then raise them for years..and have them turn on me like Maggie has.
I do think about that often with the inmates I treat. If I can get a dig in for their parents or grandparents..I do. If I had a nickel for how many times I've said..I bet your mama or granny is crying right now. I can see some guilt.. when I say that..in some of them. I try not to use that line if I think they are beyond feeling guilt. Not gonna waste it on a psychopath.
Even though I never had any kids of my own..I've tried to help raise thousands of kids. First it was all my nursing students..now..all my inmates. And I got to skip the painful birthing process..all those diapers and many other unpleasant tasks. Missed out on lots and lots of wonderful times also.
In life..I don't think we get to skip out on certain developmental tasks. If you don't have your own kids..God will throw some at you..some that might not be so pleasant to raise.
Most of my nursing students were pleasant. The other day we were at Walmart and behind me in line was one of my x-nursing students. It had been a while. She hugged me and told me how much I meant to her and other students. I needed that.
She had done some wonderful things with her career. I felt like a proud mama.
Yes..it was one way I met that procreation need. I have passed down a part of myself to many..many who made me very proud.
I think I did put a little extra into my students. I don't think I coulda done that if I had my own kids. I woulda been too exhausted. Everything does happen for a reason. It takes looking back..in retrospect to see it.
When I was going thru hell back when mama was dying and writing my story..I later would look back at some hellacious experiences and see some little miracles wrapped up in them. I might not have seen them if I hadn't written about them. You have to focus on something to write about it. You have to ponder it hard.
It's important to ponder our experiences. There is something to learn in everyone of them...especially that crappy ones. If you don't learn that lesson..you're destined to repeat it. I never did want to fail a class.
I was sitting on my couch eating my toasted whole grain wheat bread.. 4 grated cheese..fresh spinach and bacon open face sandwich. Guess who is sitting next to me acting like my best friend?? Yep..Maggie. I looked at her and said..it's a little shallow..this new found love. I'm not buying it. Doesn't fool me one bit. Then I gave her a bite of bacon. I'm a sucker alright.
Carol, dogs are pack animals and they follow the Alpha. Your big sis is the alpha when she is around. Dogs protect the alpha. If you think about it, she is your older sister and obviously there is something in your relationship with her that you also view her as the alpha and Maggie picks up on that.
Good morning...& a very good sign...Maggie is back to her old self...the universe must be back in sync...& the river, has it retreated as well...
Was going to ask...does sis use a particular perfume/soap/lotion that Maggie reacts too..
Glad to hear you are having a nice day down there...it looks nice here, but its pretty chilly...breezy & sunny...30s but feels like its in the teens...but no snow!!!....
Those big winds that they threatened us with yesterday, apparently not so bad...reported gusts were up to 30+, but not the 50s they were saying...still windy today but not terrible...
Dang Jan..your right! Thank you so much. I don't know why I didn't think of that. I guess I'm too close to the situation.
Big sis is definitely the alpha. No doubt about it. She won't admit it but we were talking about that the other day. I do yield to her.. perceived.. superiority. She poo pooed that.
And thanks to your analysis..I feel so much better. I'm no longer threatened by Maggie's behavior. I don't feel sad anymore. Maggie was just doing what was innate for her species. She couldn't help it. And she's not psychotic..phew!
And Jan..why didn't you tell me this sooner. I've been stressing over this every time sis comes over. You'd think that I might have recognized this myself..but noooo.
Coreen..I've been watching your winds closely and if they got up to what they were predicting..I missed it. But thank God they didn't. They are waiting for your generator to come online.
Weather prediction has been crap lately...same with river level prediction.
And Coreen..people now need a master's degree in business just to collect money at Mickey D's drive thru window.
I've had to leave politics behind for a week now. I'm sure you're relieved. Even if I hadn't been preoccupied with more important matters...I don't think I could have handled it. It's just the same old..same old. Which is...totally ridiculous. I feel sorry for the pundits who have to pretend that it is significant. Only that dumb Chuck Todd can do that with a straight face...ugly face at that.
Even Craig seemed so relieved that he can change the subject to the Academy Awards for a short short.
Carol, I see I posted that comment twice about the alpha. Sorry about that. Sometimes my finger gets pretty heavy - kinda like the foot on the gas pedal. LOL
I would have told you that earlier if I had thought of it. oh well! I was real concerned when you were feeling so sad about Maggie.
Carol, We are getting close to 200 comments. Why don't you find some more pics of your SF and/or the country out there. I would love to see some of them. Or you could scan some pics of your mom and sisters and you all together. I would love to see some of those. I love old pics.
Coreen, that goes for you too. I loved the pic of you with your car and on the merry go round.
Jan..we still have 41 comment spaces left..well 40 after this comment goes in.
I don't have time to put up a new post. Most of my Pa pics are not on my computer. I could scan them in at some time on that thingy Mary gave me. The one that Coreen recommended as a gift a couple of years ago.
We are now on Academy watch..any and everything Academy. One thing Alpha Dog insisted on before she came and I'm cool with. From now on we will refer to big sis as (AD).
As I was busting it in the kitchen.. cooking up Academy dinner..I shouted up to AD.. up in the big room..am I now considered "The Help". I'm not sure that she found that amusing..I did. Maybe..from now on we can call me..TH.
I know Jan but we could go over if we blog the Awards. If so..and Coreen hasn't put up anything..then I'll put up a space saver.
Coreen..are you watching the Awards?
Jan..I'm so glad you figured out Maggie's problem. Now I really feel sympathy for her. I bet she's conflicted about it. She didn't even eat much for the first several days that AD was here. Wasn't exactly sure why except that we were stressing. Also moving back to the house may have stressed her.
I will certainly cut her some slack. Like I don't already.
I read that Martin Scorcese's daughter asked him why he didn't make a movie she could see - voila - Hugo. It was an amazing movie, no adult language and no sexual scenes. good for him. I see his daughter is with him in the audience. It is great to see that a movie like that can win Oscars.
Jan..Jolie did the same thing when she presented and it looked dumb. I guess she wanted everyone to see her leg...vanity..turn off.
They're live chatting the Oscars on TM. They are very critical of Billy C. Me..I don't know.
I came to bed to finish watching the awards and left AD in the living room. Maggie keeps running from that room to my bedroom. She lays on her pillow for a minute then jumps off and runs back to the other room. She is really torn between her duties to AD and her love of bacon mama.
Well..it seems that 4a is my new wake up time. I did fall asleep earlier than usual..probably close to 11p. Five hours..that's pretty good sleep for me. It was solid.
I just realized that it's Monday. Dang it. I was thinking it was Sunday until just now. Ugh.
I've now inherited a second job..maybe it's actually a 3rd job. I was already overwhelmed by the other jobs.
Good thing we found this bookkeeper for Pa. You might remember me talking about her. She is an angel. She part lawyer..part cowboy..and part bookkeeper...everything I'm gonna need. She was/is a Godsend. I don't trust anyone but from the moment I met her my intuition said..good soul.
Jan..your revelation to me about AD did get me to doing some heavy pondering yesterday.
There was never any doubt that big sis was the Alpha dog of the siblings. She always denies it but now..that a dog identified it..there's no denying it.
I'm actually the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to power. Twin comes in second. She can manipulate me either by yelling or putting it in cry mode.
Big sis is aggressive.. and twin..passive aggressive..me..sucker.
Mom and Pa treated me like their favorite but only because I was the easiest to manipulate. It took me a while to realize that. I was the suck up. They both had me jumping and running.. to please them. Most of it was stuff I did enjoy doing but some of it wasn't.
My hyperthyroidism helped. I bet I even developed that disease because I needed it. I realized that also. Mom used to tell me... all the time.. sit down and relax. Yeah..like I ever had time to do that.
I ran into the guy from the hood yesterday. He's the party guy in the hood. He also lives on the part of the road where the water.. going over the road.. is the deepest. I asked him if he knew just how deep it got during the floods. He said a little over 2 ft over his road.
That would have definitely been too deep to pass. I measured from the ground to my truck door and it was about 18 inches. Good dang thing I evacuated.
AD closed off her bedroom last night. Mostly to keep any TV noise from my room from disturbing her but it kept Maggie in here with me. Maggie wasn't distressed about it. She seemed relieved that she wasn't on guard duty.
Fortunately it wasn't cold because sis's only heat comes from my room. It's only 58 outside now.
We have a chance of rain every day this week..30 today then 30 30 40 20. All it will have to do to send the river back up is to get a couple of inches of rain. But..the house is ready and waiting. I even left food there.
Somehow the Oscars show never seems to hold an audience anymore, like its really only an insider event...
didn't dislike billy crystal, thought he was ok...those that whined about the show...well, just that whining..its a tough job, when was the last time a host was given good not even 'rave' reviews...thought he was the comfortable choice, got the job done...
how fast everyone forgets...didn't just about everyone hate last years host...james franco & I remember that David Letterman was trashed the 1 time he did it...its just a tough job...
again I give thanks to that little invention 'the remote' & glad I didn't pass on the celeb apprentice (Carol, I know you don't think much of trump & his shtick)...but you want reality, infighting, gee almost like politics...can't beat it...much like my other gulity pleasure...Mob Wives...
Seems the fashion beats the show everytime anyway...
As far as Angelina Jolie, she has looked anorexic for quite some time...the last time she looked healthy was in her Lara Croft Tomb Raiders movies...
And what's with Brad Pitt's hair, looks like he gave up washing it....& styling it...
The Jlo reveal? did it happen or not...don't really know...when she & Cameron Diaz presented an award as they turned back from showing their rears...could have...
Still thought Clooney's girl's golden gown was the best...& I did like Cameron Diaz gown as well...
I am concerned about Angelina J. She just does not look healthy to me. Her face reminds me of my GD who has the eating disorder. When the bone structure in their face is so evident at that young an age, I think it is a dead giveaway. Her arms were so thin too. She just looks downright unhealthy. She has always been pale too but now looks anemic.
I agree Coreen, what is going on with Brad Pitt. He does look very unkempt. His hair was gross-looking. In this day and age, if you cannot find time to wash your hair, cut it off - for heaven's sake.
Carol, just reading what you said about your sibs and you. I think we each compare ourselves with our sibs especially the same sex ones. I did that for years too, especially when my parents were alive. Now, I just accept my sis for who she is and I try and accept myself for who I am - we are vastly different. I think that is one of the tasks of kids in a family - to differentiate ourselves from our sibs. Now that my parents are dead, we are not competing for their attention.
I am envious of John and his relationships with his sis and bro. They are very close to each other. His bro calls John every day and they just talk for about 2-3 mins just to stay in touch about the days events. When we go to AR, the 3 of them get together with some of their kids and they are all so kind to each other. They do have property together too - so there are financial interests.
So glad you moved to your house earlier Carol. It is good that no one else was living in your house too. Better keep it while you have the camp. It seems that this is the first time since you have been on the blog that the flooding has forced you to move out.
This is going on my 40th year of practicing nursing. It wasn't my choice for a career..it was mom's but I made the best of it. One thing about nursing is that you have a lot of choices.. for what you can do.. and I hit a good many of those choices over the last 40 years.
I started out as a nurse's aide. Took a nurse's aid course at one of our local hospitals the summer before I started college and I worked that summer doing that. I learned my profession from the bottom up. It was really a hoot working with the other nurse's aides that summer. They are some of the unsung heroes in the nursing profession.
My first job was opening and working in the first ICU/CCU..in one of our local hospitals. As a nurse there..you have just about all the nurse's roles. You do total patient care. I liked that and the fact that we had all that equipment to give input on our patient's status...didn't have to guess.
It was a stressful job and I took it very seriously. Staffing in the unit was pretty pitiful at times..like what we see in nursing so often over the years. I remember one day..I had only an orderly to help out with 7 intensive care patients. That was it! I wouldn't let him do anything but help me move patients.
I'd been there two years at that time. I took every work day home with me and replayed the tapes of it all night long...thinking..was there anything I coulda done better? Wore me slap dab out.
It was then that Jan started talking me into trying teaching. She was already working at the university where we got our degrees. I thought..me..a teacher?? I was never that good a student. Jan was a good student and after I hooked up with her.. at the end of our sophomore year.. she taught me how to be a better student.
I think that teaching did turn out to be my niche. Maybe it was because it also met my procreation needs. I don't know.
The only thing that finally pushed me away from teaching was that I was finally tired of making no money and having to work a second job just to make ends meet. Teaching is better suited for someone who has a husband to supplement their income...and who could find a husband when you had to spend every waking hour working to make ends meet.
I will have to admit that my experiences..working in all my moonlighting jobs..did provide me with some very interesting material for my lectures. How many other nursing profs can add material on the effects of fluid and electrolyte imbalance by discussing what can happen to horse racing jockeys who use too many diuretics..spend too much time in the sweat box.. avoid drinking any water and then try to hang on to their mounts. It drove the point home..if you get my drift.
That was one of my moonlighting jobs...race track nurse. The race track was just down the road from where mom and Pa lived. For a year and a half I was the track nurse.. Thursday thru Sunday.. every other weekend.
One of my fellow faculty friends and I would go to the race track every so often and we met a nurse working there who said there was a position open. It was a hoot of a job for about a year and a half.
I'll let you in on a little secret..I was always more concerned with the horses than the people. When the people got hurt I patched them and they went to the hospital. When the horses got hurt..they were destroyed. Did a lot of crying about that. I was real torn when both species were involved in an accident.
Well..to get to the point of my ponder this morning..one sad thing that I learned over these last forty years is..that you get no respect for busting you ass to do your job well. In fact..the harder you work..the less respect you get. It is the one of the most consistent thing I've learned in my last forty years.
I think that maybe the only time they do respect you is after you leave and it takes 5 people to replace you. I'm not really sure about that though..I've never been there to see it. And I kinda doubt that also.
I gotta call yesterday afternoon while I'm sitting in an attorney's office working on Pa stuff. It was from one of the big bosses at the joint..not my boss. I told him I was in my attorney's office. Did he care? No..he kept talking. It wasn't even that important what he was talking about. I told him that my stepfather died last week and he said.."oh".
I'm really getting close guys. I've been at this job for almost 7 years..without one single real day off. Do they respect me for that? Absolutely not. They have more respect for a perv's granny who calls to complain that sonny boy has a headache and he just got up at noon..from his nap.. and called her. She wants something done about it..now.. or she'll call the sheriff. That gets their attention. That gets their respect.
I took the day off to get to important Pa business. He left me with another job. He put me in charge. He trusted me to do it. It's another full time job and I'm old and worn out but..I gotta do it. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it.
Will I actually be off from my other job today?? No.
Another little phenomena I have observed over the years and you guys tell me if you have ever noticed this.
There's an employee who does the least he/she can get by with. They hit about 50% everyday and and it's a good day when they do that much. One day..outta the blue..they actually put in their 100% effort for the day. Everyone goes overboard praising that person for the effort.
You coulda been putting in 200+% every day and one day you hit 50%..maybe cuz you knocked out three vertebrae or had a heart attack. Then they look at you like..what kind of slouch are you.
Another phenomena is when you have a family with one female child and the rest brothers. The parents get old and it's the female who is designated caregiver. The males get more respect but the female gets all the work.
Another is when you have one old maid child in the family. The other siblings have a husband and children. Guess who gets the work?? You only get one guess.
In case you missed today's announcement...the 2012 DWTS group
My personal favs Gladys Knight (minus the Pips), Jack Wagner (he was Frisco on General Hospital before anything else) Martina Navritilova(though Chris Evert was my fav when they played)...
Coreen..we went to eat at a Chinese restaurant today for lunch. The fortune in my cookie read..."Don't wait for your ship to come in; swim out to it." I looked around to see if you were there and slipped that in my cookie. It does sound like advice you often give me.
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Pa rode off into the sunset last night. He joined all his favorite critters up in the big pasture in the sky.
This is my favorite pic of Pa. He's standing holding Curley..not one of his favorite critters.
Curley is a registered quarter horse..one I bought as a little filly when a friend of mine was forced to sell off all her race horse stock.
Pa wasn't crazy about Curley because she came from race horse stock and he thought that racehorses wouldn't make a good cattle horses but she was his main working horse for a good many of his last cattle working years. She was a beaut but she was tall and Pa was short.
Pa married mom when he was 40 and she was 44. He was a single man up until that time. I couldn't be more thrilled since he was a farmer and I loved hanging out on the farm. Sometimes I think God put Pa in mom's life just for me because we got along much better than they did.
I was the son that Pa never had. I have lots of good memories of the time I spent out on the farm and I was out there on most of my weekends and holidays.. for many years..before I developed osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is pretty much a contraindication for being a farm hand. As a farm hand you have to be able to run and bounce..both which are out of the question with osteoporosis.
Pa and I often rode the range together. Pa wasn't much of a talker so when we were riding the range..I'd just pretend that I lived back in the old West days and I was pioneer seeing that land for the first time. I had a pretty good imagination.
When we worked cows together..he expected me to just know what I was doing like I'd been his hired hand all my life. I got pretty good at faking it. He'd tell me to go meet him at some gate out in the north forty while he rounded up some cows. I didn't have a clue which gate he was talking about and not much of a sense of direction but I learned to watch carefully for what direction he seemed to looking toward and headed that way until I found a gate. If I was wrong..he never mentioned it. He was also pretty tolerant of me.
And he did have a lot of confidence in me also. You heard my combine driving experience which only lasted two days because combine driving was not part of my destiny. Another time he sent me to the sale barn to buy him three bulls. He told me what breed he wanted but that was it. I got there early so I would have time to do some research. I quizzed some of the men who were also there buying bulls. I had done some reading on cattle like I do on everything that I developed an interest in over the years.
From my reading..I remembered that the shape and direction of their thingy was significant. That thingy is pretty important for a bull to do his job and that thingy needed to be pointed in the right direction. Yes..that thingy can be different in bulls..sometimes too high..or too low.. or just right. I must have done good because he didn't mention otherwise.
Y'all might remember some of my farmhand stories that I've shared here. They are some of the best stories I have and some of my happiest memories.
Pa had a real soft spot for animals..not much for people..but a good bit for animals. When we had to castrate the bulls..he had it done when they were very young and still with their moms. If it wasn't done early..it would be done when they were older.. when it would be more painful. Pa didn't like to be involved in the process so he would stand away and let his cow hands do it.
The young bull would be herded into a squeeze chute and then that chute was turned on it's side. I'd stand at the head of the chute..dancing around with my legs crossed and try to distract the calf. My theory was that if I scared them enough it might stimulate some endorphin secretion and that just might have some pain relieving quality. It is known that people don't even feel pain when they are in a high state of excitement. From the looks in their eyes..they were excited.
My older sister swore that I was going to get some bad cow karma from participating in those kind of activities..Coreen would agree. but I was a cattle woman and that was just part of the job.
Pa raised many a calf on a bottle. There was this one bull he was real close to and one day he saw that bull out in the field. He went up and tried to hug on him..not something I'd ever consider doing. It shouldn't have been something he considered either. That bull threw Pa about 10 ft up in the air and about 40 ft forward. He landed in a irrigation canal and ended up with a complete shoulder separation.
Over the years Pa had a number of parts separated..broken..misplaced and penetrated. I accompanied him to the hospital for all of them. He had the highest pain threshold of anyone I've ever seen. Something that would end most people's working days forever only slowed him down for a day or two. Sometimes I think he ever did it on purpose to get one day off.
When mom was sick and dying..I had to live out at the farm for almost a year. It was not a fun time to be on the farm even though I did manage to find a few laughs.
It was a very stressful time and my thyroid..that I had refused to get fixed so I wouldn't get fat..was in high gear. At the same time I was also coping with the crisis that developed from my working with that old doc who proved that some old men don't have good sense even when they're smart. Having to deal with the hell that involved two of the most significant things in my life..losing my mom and a threat to my career..I figured I cleared a lot of bad karma..and had a credit coming.
To cope with the stress I did a lot of writing..so much writing that it would make Gone With the Wind look like a short story.
I wrote about my nursing career..my experience taking care of mom..what it was like being trapped with a dysfunctional family and their dysfunctional dogs and my farmhand experience. It was a good coping mechanism..the only one I had. When I wrote about my farmhand experience..I'd read what I wrote to Pa. He did get a kick outta the stories.
But it was also a time when I came to realize that my hero..Pa.. did have some flaws..like we all do. I blamed my mom for the problems they had in their marriage but after having to live with him day after day..I realized that he was as much if not more to blame for their problems. I still carry some guilt for having blamed mom and unfairly..I was angry at Pa because I did.
As fortune would have it..I didn't know that Pa was very near the end yesterday. Mary tried to call me late last night..right at the end..but my phone wasn't with me. I have watched two of my parents in their dying struggle and that's enough parents to have to watch that struggle.
Anyway..I believe that the person dying..at the very end..doesn't want their loved ones watching. It's not a group activity..it's definitely something we have to do alone.
I also believe that in that state..the dying person can float around and see us wherever we are.
Mary's all mad..thinks that the NH should have done more to keep him hanging on. He was miserable and he had been ready to beam up for a long time. Pa is finally free. I celebrate his freedom and I will always have my very wonderful memories of our time together.
I wish I could convince Mary of that but then..she doesn't have the fond memories that I have.
The river is already back up to close to the level when I made my feather run last Saturday. It wasn't predicted to do that until next week. Ya just can't trust that NOAA site.
The wind is supposed to be a little gusty out of the north this morning but I don't see that right now. I need a good strong north wind to blow this river out.
Coreen..I'd appreciate it if you'd go outside and blow this way.
Carol, I am sorry about your Pa's passing...
Wish I could oblige Carol, but not even a breeze out this a.m....only cold & sunny so far...
Carol, I too agree that we should not keep people hanging around who are near death. I am thinking about you today. It is hard to lose someone you love. You have great memories of him. I did not realize he and your mom were that young when they married.
Carol, I would love to read your autobiography. You could think of publishing it or some of it. I have not heard some of your stories of living on the farm.
You have a way of telling your stories - here -that are fun to read.
Carol, How did your mother and Pa meet?
How long were your mom and Pa married?
Thanks guys. Coreen..I didn't say send your wind..I said get outside and blow. I know you Yanks can be full of hot air. Just kiddin. (place a smiley face here or a scared face..whichever)
I left the house this morning in a big hurry..with bed hair and in my warm ups..didn't care what I looked like. I put a load of clothes in the wash and ran to Walmart for supplies.
I had to drive thru water but it was several inches below what I earned my feather doing. When I got home it was several inches below that..probably due to the north wind.
NOAA finally got a measurement of 5.3 close to 9A. Now they have the river going up to 6 ft by tomorrow. That's higher than feather level. Of course NOAA don't know what their doing. That's why I made notes and studied all the variables last time.
Jan...mom was working for the Dept of Public Safety selling license plates when she meet Pa. I guess he came in for a plate.
She thought he'd be a lot of fun and he was when they first got married but she didn't know how farmers are. The only thing they do is work. We'd even all go out to a club down the road where they had country music and dance.
Pa had beautiful eyes and a nice smile. He liked the ladies and when there was a nice looking woman around..he came alive. He even did that up until a few months ago. You remember how pretty mom was and she was until she got really sick.
He did try harder to be fun when he was younger but Pa really wasn't the man for mom. I think she just needed a man and I think she also hated herself for that. She even resented my big sister's independence because she was jealous. Daddy had only been dead for a couple of years when they married.
She did finally get to quit working and be a housewife though. She liked that.
They were married 30 years when she died.
One of the things I was angry with Pa for is that he had this delusion that when mom was gone he be able to find some young hot thing that would wait on him hand and foot. That happens to some old men. He was in a big hurry for her to die. I tried to tell him that he didn't have enough money for that but he blew me off.
He really started to mentally deteriorate when he could no longer work and when he finally realized that hot young women didn't want an old farmer.
Hope y'all realize that this is grief talking here. This is how I cope..I write.
Wow! They were married a long time. I think it happens that we meet someone and there is a quick attraction - and then after knowing them for a while, the attraction dies and if marriage comes too soon, there is nothing left. I speak from experience.
I guess that is why the relationship experts say, "marry your best friend."
...or if not your best friend, marry someone who is a good friend.
I love your story of the bulls and picking out the best bull. That is hilarious. Wonder if part of that story relates to men too.
Going to pick up John at the airport. Have missed him. Don't know if we were best friends when we married, but we are now.
Not to say we don't have our disagreements. We can get really mad at each other and then I start thinking I would rather live alone. I have felt that way for maximum of about 12 hrs. It is funny how our emotions make us act in certain ways. One of the things I have learned over the years is not to make big decisions when I am feeling emotional. I usually go take a walk or go do something else that takes my mind off my strong feelings.
Carol, who is making decisions about Pa's funeral and burial. I bet you are much involved in that. You are going to be very busy for some time to come. I know you have other decisions to make too. Good luck with all that. Not an easy time. Take care of yourself.
Jan..Pa's nephew took over when we had Pa interdicted since I know nothing about farming stuff. When Pa took a turn for the worse..we talked it over and he made the funeral arrangements and decided which cemetery to bury him in. His sister in law wrote the obit and I gave her family info and that pic that I put up on the blog post. I'm not good at that sort of stuff and I didn't want to do it. If I wasn't already so overwhelmed with my work stuff I probably could. There's no brain left when I leave the joint.
We didn't have to do anything for mom except arrange a memorial service. She donated her body to the medical school. I think that was as close as she could get to being involved with medicine. Remember..she's the one who brainwashed me to be a nurse because it was her dream.
She also didn't want to be a bother.. or an expense for Pa..crazy woman.
I wrote up a very nice program for mom but I think big sis did the rest. She is good at that sort of stuff. In fact..don't get in her way.
In Pa's will..he left me in charge of his trust. I don't know how I will do that???? Don't have a clue. I may be giving Coreen a call for advice.. for what kind of attorney I need. Is that OK Coreen?? Sorry about the hot air comment. It was a joke.
I just talked to big sis and she's coming in. She will be a big help with some of the stuff we have to do or think about doing. She's looking forward to some warmer weather.
I've averaged only about 3 hours a sleep for the last three nights. Don't know why.
Carol, as to your sleep the last 3 nights, I think we are often not consciously aware of what is going on in the lives of people we are close too. You did mention a couple of weeks ago that he was not doing too well.
I am glad your big sis is coming in.
Carol, this is a great picture of your Pa. He was a good looking man. I do remember seeing him once or twice.
Carol, I am not meaning to change the subject, but I just posted a cartoon on FB from Keith Oberman that is pretty good. I shared it from a friend's facebook page. I really want you to see it.
Jan..we have no subject on this blog to worry about changing..it's just flight of ideas. I'm sorry I had to cut your cut your cute kiddie pics short.
And Jan..I was very aware that I was stressed over Pa. I hadn't even seen him in two weeks because of the flood and then playing catch up at work. Before the flood I was going everyday on my lunch. Last week I worked thru lunch to catch up. It poured yesterday and I didn't step foot out of the house except to run Mag out. I was going to go see him today..he didn't wait but I don't think he was even aware that I was there when I did go.
I hated seeing him when I did. The real Pa hasn't been in that effed up shell for quite a while. Even before he broke his hip.
I don't know how many times he told me he was ready to go..before he even left his house..Life had no meaning for him for a good while. His life was farming and taking care of his animals and when he couldn't do that..there was nothing left for him.
He wasn't in any danger of suicide because of his strong faith. I told him our time here is not determined by us..at least not while we're here..it is out of our hands. I was praying that God would take him. I do believe in a good afterlife.
Mary called me evil when I told her that but she was never close to him like I was. He called me his favorite step daughter and did that in front of my sisters. I'd cringe when he did. I told you he was a little socially retarded.
I think Mary may be more concerned that when she gets in that shape we may try to do her in. I told her..no such luck.. but I'd be sure she had plenty of comfort.
Hospice was keeping Pa comfortable but not like they often do with lots of pain meds but they did have him on a pain patch.
Loved the cartoon you posted Jan. What about the one of Mitt in the dog carrier? Maybe you can just tell me the name of your paper..but I might not be able to pull it up.
Jan..I liked your ducky video. I came home from work one day a good while back and had a bunch of baby ducks in my pool. No mother anywhere in site. I think something must have gotten the mother. I had a neighbor.. who has a pond in her yard.. come over. We netted them out and she took them home to her pond. She later told me that none survived. I'm not sure how long they might have been in the pool.
"I love your story of the bulls and picking out the best bull. That is hilarious. Wonder if part of that story relates to men too."
Jan..to answer your question..I'd say a big NO. Human men don't walk on all fours..at least they're not supposed to. I don't think you could use the same criteria even though..in my job..I've seen a few guys who would compare to some of the bulls I've met.
For someone who was never married..I've seen more than my fair share of thingies. That comes from all the time I've spent taking care of the men in prison/jail. Out of the 12-1300 inmates we have..all but about 100 are men. When I worked at the prison..it was all men. I prefer working with men. Those women will wear you out.
Some of my guys come in to medical just to show off their thingies. I have one guy who will come in for something else and before his visit is over..he comes up with some excuse to whip it out. It took me several visits to realize what he was up to but probably not as long as it would have taken you. I do remember how innocent and naive you used to be.
I did look at that guy's rap sheet and his charges did involve being a perv.
Last time that guy came in for something else..I dared him to whip it out!
Just last week I had this new guy come in who reported that he recently had penile surgery. He told me he broke it. I said..You broke it?? He said yes..his partner was large and he was being rough. I didn't really go any farther in my investigation there.
But I did mumble..did she have teeth in there? Then later I thought maybe it was tooth damage.
I did examine the specimen and it sure enough had a suture line all the way around the circumference. And on him..I didn't need to have on my cheaters to see it..if you get my drift.
If there's something weird/unusual out there..it usually passes thru my joint.
Carol, I cannot find the paper the cartoon was in. I don't know if it was in the "Albuquerque Journal" or the "New Mexico Daily Lobo" which is the university of NM paper. I try to clear out all papers each week in the recycle bin. The cartoon appeared in the past 2 weeks I fairly certain.
Did you see the post about on FB from the young woman chaplain about what people talk about most when they are dying? I loved that. I wish I knew how to bring stuff over from FB to here so Coreen can see what we are talking about.
I don't know about the innocent part - but I sure was naive. I don't think that is true any longer.
Jan..you should be able to bring things over. Either copy and paste something that is written or copy a link and paste it.
I brought it over for you Jan..and I read and enjoyed it.
My Faith: What people talk about before they die
If you want to feel more comfortable with death..I think this may be the place to go...
Near Death Experience
Research Foundation
It's not the destination that scares me..it's the trip to get there..
I'm even afraid of flying..
Death did scare me when I was younger. I even had anxiety attacks when I went to a funeral. I needed to make peace with it. I started that process early.
I remember the first patient I had who died. I was working the night shift as a student nurse..pretty much the nurse's aid role. The lady who died was relatively young and she died from a complication from gallbladder surgery. I don't think I ever found out what that complication was..I was just a nurse's aid.. working the night shift..absolutely insignificant.
It was pretty devastating. I remember clearing out her hospital room and thinking about how very alive she had just been.
My first nursing job was in ICU/CCU. People die there. It was my job to keep them from doing that but sometimes I couldn't. Once they passed..usually I let someone else do what was necessary to prepare the body. When I had to go out to talk with the family..there was no doubt what I was heading to do..I was like a member of the walking dead myself.
Over the years..through my studying and experience..I became more comfortable. I could easily work as a Hospice nurse now.
I had even gotten comfortable by the time I was moonlighting as a house supervisor. I had to go to all codes and keep records of all that went on. At times I would actually look up toward the ceiling and wave..but only if no one could see me do it.
That was mainly for anyone who's resuscitation was successful..which I prayed they all would be. You know how they talk about the dying person floating near the ceiling watching their own resuscitation process. If they were up there..I wanted them to know I knew it. True story.
Jan..another thing that interferes with my sleep is not knowing what that river out there is planning.
If NOAA is correct???..it's going to crest at 5.9. I think that is still in feather territory...which means I can escape.
I didn't see anyone parked out pass where the high water starts this afternoon so I'm guessing that many others are betting they'll be OK. They only thing is..you have to have a high truck to make that feather run.
Thanks Carol for bringing the link over.
Now time for Downton Abbey on Masterpiece Theatre. My fav show on tv.
Thinking about Pa tonight..I was remembering something kinda cute. He had hay barns in different places where he stored the hay. One was also a place where he fed his young heifers. I was out there with him and we were putting out some fresh hay.
I saw this battery operated portable radio. I asked what was that out there for. He had it out there to entertain his heifers. He had it tuned to country music...what else. I got a chuckle outta that.
Dang glad he didn't have it tuned to Rush Limpballs. Can you imagine the damage that would have done to their young minds..a bunch of radical right beef running around...dang dangerous.
Carol, I enjoyed reading about your experiences as a student nurse and young nurse in ICU/CCU.
I grew up in the country Carol and knew many farmers; they were all around us. Farmers had a great deal invested in their animals and often treated them better than their human family members. I did chuckle at your tale of your Pa and the radio.
I hope my penis stories didn't gross ya out? Are you OK? It's your fault Jan. I wouldn't have even thought about them if it wasn't for your question. I guess you're right about you're not being innocent anymore..you just looked it when I knew you. You can fool some of the people some of the time and that's usually good enough. he he he.
Yep Jan..Pa would treat his animals better than he did people but it really wasn't something he realized. I think he met the criteria for Aspergers. I had never heard of that until my big sis introduced me to it. She was an expert in learning disabilities. I remember us thinking that he definitely was an Asparagus..our little shared term for someone with Aspergers.
But that man was smart..and when he wasn't working his ass off out on the farm..he was reading. He read slow..always complained about how slow he read but he kept at it forever. Maybe his reading kept him from having to interact.
Pa would come in from his work on the farm..drag in whatever dirt was on his shoes and sit at the counter bar in the kitchen and read until he was served his supper. He devoured the paper like something might happen to him if he failed to finish it. And he devoured every magazine he got.
He must have retained all that knowledge because he could kick all of our asses in Trivial Pursuit..something I made them play back when I was spending weekends out there..before they had much on TV..they never had cable.
Remember that game..Trivial Pursuit? He really did well in history. That's when I realized just how smart he was because otherwise I wouldn't have known..he just didn't talk enough.
And Pa rescued every pitiful dog that came up...and ended up running over many of them..unfortunately. ..well that was a matter of opinion.
I've told you about Buster..the biter. That was his favorite dog because there were so many people he wanted to bite but couldn't. Buster even bit him a number of times when he was breaking up a dog fight.
Mom used to pray that that dog bit the dust because she thought that it was only a matter of time before someone sued them over Buster. I agreed. She celebrated the day that Buster died. Pa planted him in the garden and had a sign made up. Buster..my best friend. Mom smiled when she passed that sign.
And he let all his mangy mutts..full of dirt..in the house at times..and they weren't house dogs It was really bad when I was having to stay out there because I was having to do the sweeping..couldn't use the vacuum..the dog hair used up too much space. You could stuff a king sized pillow with it everyday.
My sister..nephew and I all had our mangy mutts out there too..but at least they were house dogs.
I'm not a good housekeeper..none of us except mom was and she was down for the count. I ended up doing much of the cleaning because it got to me first..my sister and nephew could hold out forever... they wore blinders.
The one time I did get my nephew to vacuum..he left it laying across a door way and my sister flipped over it and broke her right arm in a million pieces. Kinda took her out of much helping out. Can you see the extremes they would go to to avoid housework. I shoulda never asked.
I got a little more sleep last night. First thing I did when I woke up is go check the river. It is up several inches this morning from when I went to bed. I can tell by where it hits the wharves out there.
When I was thinking..now what was the level where I can still drive out??..I remembered that pic I took after doing my feather run. The one I posted here. I can look back on the blog and see that the river was a few inches over my highest wharf. Now that wharf is still just a tad above water...I'm still good.
That's one thing that is good about the blog for me. I can use it to help remember things.
At times..I've thought that maybe it was time to put "The Swamp" to bed..but then I think..how would I remember what I was doing on a particular day? I might need an alibi..and here..I have one. I just look back in the archives and I know just what I was up to. Hate to lose that.
Coreen..I know you're not a basketball fan but have you caught any of that Linsanity? The Knicks are a NY team. I think we all have a little of it.
Basketball used to be my favorite sport because it was so fast...never get bored. Baseball just the opposite..very slow. With ADD..I needed something that will keep my mind from wondering.
The river is now at feather level..came up that much since I got up. Problem is..I don't know how much farther it will come up.
If you didn't see SNL this weekend..you might want to check out this.
Amy Poehler Returns To 'Weekend Update' For 'Really?!?' With Seth Meyers On Birth Control
My favorite part of that video is when they were talking about Huckleby's comment to critcize Obama for his BC ruling. He said "...we are all Catholic now"
Amy responds..."do you know who are not all Catholic now???...all Catholics now..98% say they use BC and the other 2% are the ones who want to church to start a softball team"
Well.. I got a chuckle outta it.
I love Amy Poehler and it was fun to see her back on SNL..even if it was just for a visit.
Missing you around here Coreen.
I am laughing about your comment about penises Carol. I actually have not paid that much attention to men's penises even though this is my 4th marriage. I think the reason I asked that is because years ago I took a drawing (art) course and it was focused on drawing the human body. I was actually talked into taking the course by a girlfriend of mine who also lived here. We always had a model - both male and female. Started out drawing hands and feet and heads. Then one class the male model had on a robe and I sort of guessed what was to come. He dropped the robe. Over the course of the class that evening, he did some posing. Anyway, his "junk" as men often call it in the movies now - hung really low- very different than any man I had ever seen. When it was over and my girlfriend and I were talking about the evening, she said that her husband didn't look like that and I said my husband also did not. So, I guess that was why I asked the question. I actually have not seen that many men naked - as you might imagine. By the way I think I told you once before about my friend's reaction. When the model first dropped his robe, she caught her breath, like someone does when they are surprised very suddenly and it was heard all over the room. Then she would giggle every so often. I wanted to hit her.
Carol, I think many farmers are like your pa. They tend to be very quiet and not talk much.
Now what could I possibly add to
the latest discussion!!....
Jan, you had 4 husbands...I think
I missed one in your story-telling...but how about this, may have you beat...I have had 4 long term relationships...(each lasted maybe 8-10 years) every one of those guys is dead...really dead!!!...so does that make me a true 'black widow'....
Oh & of those 4, 2 were italian, one was irish/english, 1 was eastern european jewish...so if you want to talk about men's anatomy....think circumcised & you guys likely know more about the medical aspect of that procedure....
As far as the male body...do you think that most women find it beautiful?, something to welll go ga,ga over...
Funny how the female
body is the one most glamorized by society...Is that as a result of it always being an absolutely male dominated culture?...
As far as the BC dustup...again I
still am not sure what it has morphed into....from the catholic
church not wanting to pay/subsidize
something that violates their
tenets to those saying its a woman's right to bc & it should be free to all...
& all the talk about how many women use BC...
Those women I grew up with (many Catholic, some Jewish, not so many protestants)...I am what I consider a 'retired catholic' since I don't attend church often....or pay much
attention to any religious talk...were raised on the pill & those that didn't...often wound up pregnant, married at a young age &
more often than not divorced just as quickly as their 'romance' started/ended...
Linasity is alive & well in these
parts...Could not ignore it if I wanted to...
Was a big Knick fan during the
late 60s naturally (when Bradley, debusshere, clyde fraser & willis reed played & beat the Lakers (1969)in a memorable game when Reed their great center got injured but walked on the court in NY to thunderous cheers (but if you were a Knick fan then, you didn't see this amazing event as it was not on TV that night you could only here it on the radio here!!!...how much sports telecasts have changed)...
& when Patrick Ewing played(the 90s)...you probably don't remember they almost won it the
year the oj saga mesmorized the country & the 'white car' chase
interrupted one of the knick playoff games that year...I remember it all too well!!!...
Each time Lin has spoken he has been very humble & repeatedly attributes the winning to a team effort...what is said that there is certainly a hint of racism being spouted by some of the moronic sports talkers....
They play again this p.m. against the cross town rivals (the ineffetive Nets)....Yesterday's win was very well-received as it was against the defending champions...
Coreen, glad to see you back here. I think it is great you have interest in some sports and enjoy that so much. I appreciate your sharing some personal stuff here. Sometimes I wonder if you get tired of hearing Carol and I talking about so much personal info.
Coreen..I had forgotten that Jan was on her 4th marriage..I'm not sure I ever did know that. All I still remember was 3. Jan...who was the other one?
Corren..I remember you're telling us about the mortality rate of your spouses. Did you decide that was enough?
As far as the aesthetics of genitalia goes...I think men's are far more pleasing to the eye than women's. But...I think it's more interesting when there is something left to the imagination.
One of those women's mags..years ago..had this photo showing guys..with erections..in different kinds of underwear and shorts. That was quite interesting.
Carol, I was not married to anyone...I had long term relationships, but not married to any of those guys...
The mag I believe was Playgirl....
It could have been Playgirl but before I ran across that one I found Viva. Remember that one? I have the Collector's Edition of that magazine. Does that make me a perv??
Viva (magazine)
Both Playgirl and Viva came out in 1973. Viva was a little less obvious with their pics..at least when it first came out. Left some things to the imagination. I think the pic I was talking about was in that magazine.
I looked at both strictly for medical purposes. I did have to teach physical assessment. Oh..I didn't start that until 1976. Well....I'm sure I had some good reason but can't remember it right now. I do like to draw.
Ya know..I've been doing some more pondering..and I realized that I got to have two daddys. I guess I was blessed. My first daddy died when I was only 21 and he was sick with cancer for at least the last 8 years of his life.
You don't always appreciate fathers when you're young and my first dad was a little scary at times. He didn't have any patience and with me and my twin sister you needed a lot of patience.
I was also the son he never had. He took me fishing but he didn't tolerate the fact that I frequently got my fishing line caught up in the trees. He just got mad too easy.
When we would go the YMCA..he made me do tricks off the diving board..tricks I didn't want to do but I didn't want to disappoint him. My twin sister would just hover in the corner of the pool crying. He left her alone. I thought about trying that but that was just too much work. It was easier to just do that back flip. I'm sure I did do some crying if I didn't hit the water just right.
But he did have one really great thing about him..he let us have some freedom. If it was left up to mom..we would have been locked in a closet to keep us safe from harm.
Daddy let us take his car out on the weekends to have fun. If he would have known what we were up to..he'd have let mom lock us in that closet. Glad he never found out.
When Pa came into my life..I was all growed up and ready to appreciate another dad. He was patient and tolerant..like I have mentioned before.
With both dads treating me like the son they never had..I'm surprised I didn't grow a beard. Well..recently I do plug a few whiskers from my chin but I think that's just old age..but maybe not.
Carol, those chin hairs are normal and some due to aging. I had some most of my life. Plucked em with tweezors. I did not like the waxing I also had very dark thick leg hair. That is a family trait. We women in my family bemoan the fact that we have to shave our legs so often.
1st husb - teen marriage - 3 1/2 years - just long enough to have 2 boys.
2nd husb - the abuser - marriage less than a year - scary. He beat me badly once - came after me with a gun - bosses/docs took the gun from him. He also stalked me for 17 yrs (that I knew about)
3rd - 21 years - adopted my 2 oldest and we had a son
4th- John
John and I have been married almost 20 yrs.
I've been pondering giving a little testimony at the funeral on.."My Pa" using some of what I have written here. What do you guys think??
Carol, I think that is a lovely idea.
Carol, John and I went to see "The Artist" this afternoon. A very good movie. I think the little dog was our favorite. The young woman who became an actress in the movie looked like your mother to me. If you see pictures of her - see what you think.
I had a guy come over..who lives out here..one of our own..a river rat..to work on things that needed to be done around here.
There were these particularly challenging places that needed finishing. I've told other guys I've had out here to fix them but they never got around to these places. I think they were too much of a challenge.
This new fellow came up with the solutions to those challenges and did a really good job.
He got about half of the work done today and will finish the rest this week.
I've been a little scared of getting everything finished. I'm afraid it might be an invitation to a hurricane or really high flood.
They had that actress on The View this week Jan. I didn't see any resemblance to mom but I guess I've seen her since you have.
It's hard to believe that she's been gone for almost 10 years now. I still miss her.
I did ponder whether mom came to get Pa when he passed. Nahh..I'm sure it was Buster.
Carol, the actress that was on the view was not the one I meant. The one that was on the view played the wife and she was just in the first part of the movie. The one that was in most of the movie was younger and prettier. I don't know her name.
I just looked outside and the river is up about another 4 inches since this afternoon. I think it is above where they predicted the peak. They certainly don't do any measurements often enough.
I'm sure it is over feather level. Now I have to worry about getting out and getting big sis in tomorrow evening and then getting us both out for the Rosary Wed and the funeral Thursday.
Dang..is there any end to worry??
Well..I looked outside and my wharf bumper guards are at full erection..something my neighbor and I recognized when the flood water was up around 6.5 feet last time.
Those bumper guards are usually hanging down over the wharf and their purpose is to protect a boat or the wharf when a boat is parked up against it. Now they are pointed straight up.
I was using all kinds of indicators to determine the water level last time. I don't have any accurate ways to measure water level and NOAA hasn't been a big help here.
When I made my feather run Saturday..the bumper guards were almost laying down flat on top of my wharf which means the water level was lower. I had to look back at the pics I took at the time to see that.
My Toyota is a little taller than the average truck of that size. It will most likely be able to make this water level if it doesn't get any higher. Only problem is that it is very effy and levels can change in a very short time.
It will also require someone with skill and balls which I have neither. I might be able to fake that..in the full daylight but no way after dark.
The Rosary is after dark on Wednesday and on Thursday..there's a 50% chance of rain and a strong south wind predicted for Thursday. Just like a strong north wind can blow the river down in a short time..a strong south wind can blow up it up in that same time.
It seems that my only safe..available option is to pack up stuff..and the Magster and move out.
My house is not prepared for anyone to live there right now. I cleared out everything when I had that roomy. And since I had someone painting there..all the furniture in my bedroom is shoved into the middle of the room. But....it does have hot water!
Sounds like a good idea for you, Maggie & sis to hang out at the house for a couple of days, Carol..
At least it would leave out the constant worry of not being able to get out of the river's way if the level gets really high...
Not sure what this all means. I guess it is a test..just a test.
So what are you going to do Carol? How is the water level?
Well..sis is in and I'm back at my house. I think it missed me. It's interesting how things happen for a reason.
When I got up and saw the river I got scared. The water was closing in on what it peaked at last time and I couldn't afford to be land locked this time.
I put it in high gear and started packing up. I didn't want to have to do all the work it would require to move out but I had no choice.
My house had nothing except furniture and other crap that I wasn't going to move out. I had to clear it out everything else because roomy had to have room.
I packed up everything like I was going on vacation but also packed up what food I would need as not to starve to death. It was more like I was going camping for a week.
My nurse friend called and offered to help me move my lawnmower and golf cart out. He was concerned that the river might come up enough to put those things in jeopardy. He's not a worrier like I am so when he worries..it makes me a lot more nervous.
He had already moved his vehicle to higher ground. He came to get my truck and attached my little garden trailer to it to move my lawnmower out. We rode to the house and he drove thru the water. It was higher than when I did my feather run.
Then he switched to his larger utility trailer to take my golf cart. The golf cart wasn't working so he had to use a couple of come-a-longs to wench it up into the trailer. Sweat was pouring.
He helped me load up all my stuff to take. I fed my birds and blessed owl camp with the sign of the cross.
When we got to my house I asked my friend to help me move some furniture in my bedroom. Another friend had painted the living room and was planning on painting my bedroom. She moved everything into the middle of the room and covered it with plastic. That's how it was left.
When we went into my bedroom to move the furniture back into the correct position..I noticed that one of my French doors in the back
of the room was open! OPEN! It was about 2 inches open. Don't know how that happened or how long it had been open.
If I make a house check..which I do every now and again..I couldn't see that door because of everything stacked in the center of the room.
What could have gained entrance?? If it were animals..there would have been evidence. What about a s----???
Nothing was missing or messed up so I don't think ther was any break in. The door was damaged a good many years back..too long a story.. but it closed. I never used the door. I had a treadmil pushed up against the door but that was moved when my friend was preparing to paint.
I know the door was securely closed but hadn't seen it in a while. I really think that it couldn't have been open for long or some critter would have pushed it's way in. Maybe my cats were guarding it??
I started thinking...maybe there was a reason that I had to move over here?? If I hadn't..I would have never found that door open and eventually something would have coe in. God..she does work in mysterious ways..
After I got my heart back where it belonged and we moved the furniture..I headed to Walmart to get some things I needed..like most of the things you would need to set up house.
I picked up sis at the airport at 5 and we came back. I had to make another run to Walmart for a few things I forgot to get the first time.
We got home..settled in and I cooked up some salmon and made a nice salad with all of my favorite ingredients..except Feta. Dang it..I forgot the Feta. I'm pretty OC about my salads!
It's actually nice to be home. No satellite TV though. I have a big screen TV here but only have air antenna. Not much comes in out here except PBS..3 channels of it and NBC..3 channels of the local station. More might if I adjust the rabbit ears.
Big sis doesn't even have TV at her house so she found some interesting stuff on PBS..the Create channel. After eating..I finally got to put my feet up. It's weird..my feet/ankles have been hurting so much lately and today..I did all that work and crip walking and it's the best they have felt in a long while. Kinda strange how things happen..huh?
Now I have insomnia. I better get back to bed and try to sleep because I have to go to work tomorrow. The visitation and Rosary are tomorrow afternoon/evening and I'll take off Thursday. I can't afford to take off tomorrow after being off two days already and needing to take off Thursday.
Nite
Don't know what the river is going to do. NOAA had it cresting over 6 ft and just staying there past Sunday.. where the chart stops.
Now they have it cresting at about 6.4 and starting to go down. If that happens..I can be back at owl camp by Friday. But...ya just never know.
I'm so glad I have things set up to be able to escape here now.
If I've made a lot of mistakes in my writing..it's because I left my cheaters in the bedroom and don't want to make a lot of noise going for them. I'm kinda blind typing.
One more thing. I looked at the weather for Thursday on Wunderground and it said it was going to be 88 on Thursday?? That must be a mistake... but..then Pa didn't like cold weather.
Accuweather report south winds 20 gusting up to 48 during the day. That would definitely blow up the river.
Glad to hear you made the move to the house...& that your neighbor
was able to help moving & driving across the water covered road...
By the way does Maggie adjust to
both homes...Does she get to see the cats...do they get along...
Carol, you may yet have your chance
to vote for Buddy, if he gets to be the candidate of these parties...
Buddy to leave GOP & seek
to run on Americans Elect & Reform Party as candidate
Thanks for the link Coreen about Buddy. I'm kinda outta the loop right now..from the news. Maybe if my Buddy gets a third party nom..he can get into a debate. That's what I really want. I want him to stir up conversation.
It's closing in on the end of a very exhausting day. I barely made it thru work today. Those 3 hours of sleep I got last night didn't exactly refresh.
At the end of the day at work today I was going thru and signing charts. I blinked a couple of times and momentarily lost consciousness.
After work sis and I went to the visitation and Rosary. Pa didn't look like the guy in the casket at all. I chose to see him up and hanging out around his old friends instead. I did enjoy seeing all the peeps who I haven't seen in years.
His nephew and his nephew's SIL did a good job setting things up. We got there close to 5 and the Rosary didn't start until 7. By then I was really worn out.
Lord forgive me but I turned down the light on Iphony and Googled..how long does a Rosary last? I feel sure God is the only one who noticed and I hope he is forgiving.
The answer popped up with about 20 minutes if they didn't include thus and such. I prayed they didn't. It did only last for about 25 minutes.
Y'all know I am a fan of the "Virgin"..but after about 20-30 of those Hail Mary's..I think we've made our point and I even think She gets it. Just for the record..I'm not a Catholic.
I hope there are no Republicans reading this blog or I'll be damned to hell.
Carol, so glad you moved to the house. Yes, I believe in synchronicity - ie. your open door. This was supposed to happen. You have good friends/neighbors who helped you get your outdoor machinary out of there. I thought about you this evening and your seeing Pa. I never like to see them after death. I too like to remember them in happy times. In the religious beliefs I grew up in they always had an open casket at funerals. Not me! I do not want people to see me dead. I suppose the visitation and viewing is what is usually done. We did not have a viewing for my dad, and I am glad.
I hope you sleep better tonight. This is a difficult time. I am thinking about you.
The reason I got those three hours of sleep is because I overslept. An alarm clock is something else I forgot to get. Iphony has a good alarm so I set it for 5a.
If you noticed..I didn't get off here until 3a so that only gave me 2 hours left to sleep if I could even manage to get to sleep.
Before getting back on the blog..I really did try to sleep. I was tired enough but between big sis snoring and Maggie growling at something..I couldn't.
Every time Maggie growled..I was sure she found that s---- that might have gotten in. I'd get up and check. She was just looking out the French door windows and spying something out there.
When I went back to bed I changed my alarm setting from 5 to 5:30..added another 30 minutes. Only problem is that I forgot to turn it on.
Big sis woke me up this morning asking if it didn't look a little light outside. I checked and it was 6:27. I tore outta bed and had to rush to get ready with no time to ease into it. Hate it when that happens.
Something else I forgot to carry over here was mousse and hairspray. I had it bagged but must have left it behind. My hair needs both. I did eye some spray starch on the ironing board and for a minute I considered trying it. Nahh.
Thanks Jan.
Well..I woke up at 4a. Got to sleep a little after midnight. I tried to tune into C2C but it even wanted me to go to SLEEP because it wouldn't work right.
I have to have something to listen to when I go to sleep..it keeps me from stressing over things. No TV in my bedroom anymore. Big sis was glad about that.
You may wonder why sis and I are sharing the same room. Well..I stuffed everything I cleared outta the house for roomy into my other two bedrooms but my remaining bedroom is a big room and it has a king sized bed.
Maggie has her own pillow in the middle between sis and I. She was a little on the squirmy side until I realized I didn't have her a pillow in there. When I got her one..she propped up there and settled down.
I decided not to do my little testimony at the funeral today. Well..the Universe decided that for me since I would have had to print something out and no printer here. I'm kinda glad..that's an added stress I didn't need today.
I wish I coulda slept longer. I have some old Ambien at the camp. It's a prescription I got back in 2007 when my thyroid was still in overdrive. I wonder if it's still Ambien after all that time??
I only took it when I just had to get to sleep and only 1/2 at a time. All those stories about people sleep eating and sleep walking made me nervous. I kept imagining that I might find myself out sleep walking on water and forgetting to wear my life jacket.
Coreen..I noticed a new cat in the yard yesterday. There have been hundreds of cat that have hung out here since I've had this place. I think people knew what a sucker I was and dropped them off here.
I think I told you that my Vet had a file just for me. He had them listed as "Lucky Kitty" with a number behind the name.
Once..I ended up with all these wild cats out here. I couldn't catch them to get them spayed. The bunch of them all had litters at the same time and I ended up with 5 litters but I put an ad in the paper and got rid of all of them.
One day I had a friend out here who had never seen my place. I was showing her my yard. She pointed at something and asked..and what is that? I looked and it was a cat..one of the wild ones..with it's head stuck in a jar. It must have stuck it's head in that jar to get something out and couldn't get it out.
I freaked. I'm good with patients in crisis but useless with animals. I got a towel to hold the cat and tried to get that jar off. My friend suggested I break the jar and I told her she was crazy.
I wrapped the cat in a towel and rushed it to the Vet. My Vet..who WAS good with animals..just grabbed her by the nap of the neck and pulled the jar off. I kinda felt stupid.
I kinda think some of the cats who I'm feeding now have homes somewhere else in the neighborhood but drop in to visit.
I think you made a good decision - not to do a testimony. Why make more work for yourself. You can tell him what you want him to know through telekinesis. He will get the message.
Funny story about the cat.
I took the evening off yesterday. Was just too exhausted.
The funeral was nice. The Priest seemed to be directing much of his talk to me..at least he was looking my way. Maybe it was just my imagination.
Somewhere in his talk.. he was saying that we weren't looking forward to leaving this world..that we all wanted at least 20 to 30 more years.
I was shaking my head NO. My body won't hold out 20 to 30 more years and I don't want to deal with what Pa had to deal with.
I think that Father did a good job on the service. I like him. I told y'all that I thought of becoming a Catholic. It was the year after mom died and it was part of my grieving process. It was mom's church. I'd drive to where mom and Pa lived and go to church with Pa.
I kinda liked the rituals of the Catholic church...even the pain involved in all that kneeling down. I have very bony knees and it is very painful for me to kneel. I considered it part of paying for your sins.
And I'd sing. Many Catholics don't participate in the singing..I've noticed. I don't think it's been around their church for as long. I was raised Methodist...and we sing.
It was good that I had something to do since they didn't let you participate in the communion..which I think is a tad on the mean side and a right bit unneighborly.
I learned..in my church..that you're supposed to share..I learned that along with similar concepts. It was a significant part of what I learned in church. But as a Catholic..you have to belong to the religion to share at the communion table. Hmmm.
I overlooked their stinginess and decided that if I was going to continue to go to the Catholic church..I'd better become a Catholic. I signed up for class and got Pa to be my sponsor. He was proud. I knew he would be.
I drove that 40 mile..round trip..to go to the classes once a week. Everything was going pretty good until one day..one of the ladies conducting the classes mentioned that her lady group was praying a Novena for George Bush to win the election. What.. I thought?? I'm in the wrong church. I need the church of the John Kerry. So..I dropped out of Catholic class. I still went to church and just sang louder.
After the funeral..we went to the cemetery to plant Pa. He loved planting and I know he would love being part of the earth. It was what his life was all about.
After that..we headed back to the church for lunch. Some ladies fixed up lunch. That was real nice. I saw that Novena praying for Bush lady. I wonder if she ever realized that she was the one who ran me off.
I got a long 5 hours of sleep last night. I almost feel groggy from all that sleep.
I decided to sleep on the couch. My sis and I talked about the incompatibility of our sharing the same room. She said that I also snore. I haven't noticed that because you do that when you are sleeping and I haven't done much of that lately.
I did get about 3 hours the night before. I told you I tried to listen to C2C to put myself to sleep. Sis said that it wouldn't bother her. She lied. I thought that it didn't work but it must have and it must have put me to sleep. I slept for as long as it was on and woke up when it finished. The program lasts for about 3 hours. Sorry sis.
Sis said that she couldn't sleep because of the noise from C2C. She shouldn't have lied to me. I told her I couldn't sleep without listening to something and snoring didn't qualify.
I said I would sleep on the couch. I like sleeping on the couch. Mine is comfortable and if I wake up..I won't disturb sis. She offered to do it also but I wanted to instead.
When I stayed with mom for that year..I slept on an old sectional couch. Everyone else.. but me.. had a bed and a room. I didn't mind because it kept me close to mom.
The couch was in the living room with mom. We had her bed placed in the living room because she was pretty much confined to it and we wanted her to be where she could be the center of our attention.
I don't mind sleeping on a couch but that sectional was an old curved sectional. That wasn't so bad when I slept on one side..but hell when I turned over to the other side.
Yesterday we went over to Pa and mom's house after everything was over. Pa didn't use that living room so he closed it off. I hadn't been in there either for years..almost 10 years.
We went in there yesterday. On the lamp next to where we placed mom's hospital bed was an old calendar.
It was turned to July..2003..the month and year she died. Kinda hit me in the heart.
What is kind of ironic..I was talking with sis this morning and she reminded me that John Kerry was a Catholic..and I remembered that George Bush was a Methodist. Interesting huh?
Hi Carol, thanks for all the descriptions of what you did yesterday - the funeral and everything. Enjoyed reading it all - felt like I was there.
Funny thing about sleeping. I have to have a room that is dark and quiet and cool to sleep good. We have a little finished basement and it is cool down there all year. We have a good air cond system but when it gets hot here - it will run most of night if kept on. The basement does not need it though - it stays about 70 degrees down there most of time in summer without AC. So we moved our bedroom down there a couple of years ago so we can turn off AC at night. A lot of people here have water cooled ac which is cheaper on elect. but you leave windows open and John and I both have allergies so bad and that did not work.
When I was in doct program in Austin, I shared housing with several friends over the 4 years I was there. One friend had to have her TV on all night to sleep. It was an apt that you could hear the TV all through the apt so that did not work well for me. I always enjoyed living with friends though. I don't like living alone. I shared a house with 3 other people for one year and we got along great. We each had our own bedroom and shared 2 bathrooms. We were all doct nurs students so it was fun - lots of gossiping.
The last year I was in Austin, I shared a condo with a friend and her 12 year old daughter. That worked out fine too. I did have an apt by myself for one year and it was ok as there were several other stus in surrounding apts in same complex so we got together often.
Carol, I loved what you shared about Pa liking to plant and being buried in the earth. A great way to look at that.
I was a Methodist for years and then the first time we moved to Albuq we began going to an Episcopal church in our neighborhood. I was confirmed in the Epis church at that time. I really like this church as the beliefs fit more how I look at religion and the world. It is the US version of the Anglican church of England. We have a lot of the same rituals of the Cath church. Some differences are we do not follow the Pope, priests can marry, communion is for all people who are baptised (John invites all people to the table -baptised or not). We have women priests, in fact our Presiding Bishop (head of the Epis church) is a woman (1st ever).
very interesting thing about going into the living room and seeing the calendar and the page was on July, 2003. Those kinds of things can hit us pretty hard.
Three months before my mother died, my oldest son Bill and his wife were married in Butte Montana. We all flew there for the wedding including my mom and dad. They had a photographer who took lots of pictures. The wedding was in Oct, my mom died in Jan - 3 months later. In April, Bill sent me a bunch of pictures of the wedding. There was my mother in several of them. Seeing those pictures in april (and not expecting to see my mom in them) knocked me to my knees on the floor. I bawled like a baby.
So I know Carol, how that kind of thing feels.
Sorry for going on like this. Your experiences this past few days reminded me of a bunch of stuff.
I hope you are doing ok Carol. I am glad your older sis is there. I bet you are doing lots of memory-sharing. That is always good.
Jan..I love it when you share your feelings and....love is never having to say you're sorry. Seems like I've heard that somewhere before.
Coreen..you asked if Maggie gets along with Fiddler. She does. There's kinda a caution curiosity between the two right now. When I take Maggie out she runs for Fiddler full force then puts on the brakes about 4 feet before she gets to her. Fiddler doesn't budge. They both creep forward and sniff a little then they move apart but walk in parallel with each other.
If Mags stayed here much longer.. I think they'd be good friends. Mags loves cats. When she was younger she had a very good cat friend but the cat lived outside.
When the cat came in they played too rough and knocked things over. I put the cat out after some rough horse play one night. When I called her to come back in..she didn't come. The next morning when I was leaving for work..I found the cat dead in the road. I came back in and took the day off and we cried. I think it was the first day I ever took off from work at the joint. I told them I was sick..and I was.
Coreen..I've noticed the gusty winds haven't gotten there yet but they did say it would be after midnight. Better batten down the hatches before you go to bed.
Jan..you were talking about living with your fellow students and gossiping.
I remember when we first started our study group. We did about 95% gossiping and 5% studying. It was the most I ever studied. I never learned to study before and my grade reflected it.
In high school..I thought it was good enough to just carry my books home and sleep close to them. I guess I thought I'd get the info in them by osmosis. Wasn't a great plan.
Carol, I remember our study sessions. I think the years that I went to school were some of the best years. I think that is so because of the friendships.
Today..we are suppose to head back to the camp. I'll miss my house..I enjoyed getting back here for a visit. I think it was also happy to see me.
When sis agreed to come down..she said all she wanted was to see the Academy Awards. We can't do that here..can't tune into that network on antenna here. She doesn't even have TV at her home. She does watch videos though..she loves movies. The most I see is when she comes for a visit.
Coreen..I saw when I got up that your winds hadn't gotten there yet. I see that they may be getting close. Can't trust the weatherman. Like you told me yesterday..they just won't look outside. That's the only way I can tell what the weather is gonna do.
It's weird how there seems to be no predicting the weather these days. I watch my weather site and every 4 hours..they have changed their minds..and then it isn't right either.
And thanks Coreen for the advice. Everyone needs a Yankee lawyer friend. And girl..if you lived closer..we could have a hoot of a time hanging out together..even though we don't have a dang thing in common.
It's kinda interesting how we all came together..on this blog. There are no accidents. It was so cool finding Jan again..and meeting you Coreen.
I miss our Chloe..Solar and Ivy. Even though they aren't here anymore..they're still in my heart.
From the NOAA site info..I'm sure my road..out at the camp..is high and dry now. I haven't been back since I evacuated..I haven't had time.
Carol, I know you will be happy to get back to your river home. That seems to be where your heart is.
Glad to hear your river is calming down & letting you get back home...
So far today the winds here are
brisk, but not yet enough to cause major disruptions in electricity...keeping my fingers crossed & my flashlights nearby for the rest of the day...(hope Murphy's law doesn't visit since my generator is ready, but not
'on line' for another 2 weeks, company is so busy they are scheduled to come & program it the beginning of March)....
I didn't get blown over throwing
the birds their seeds this a.m....
sun is out, roads have dried but there is still snow cover
about an 1" on the grass & sides
of road...
I hope those weather people put their collective heads out a window
& actually see what outside is like & stop relying solely on their
computer models...
I had 10 y/o GD last night. Her parents wanted to go out for dinner with friends.
I enjoyed having her. She is a delightful little one. I took her out to eat and she picked out Sweet Tomatoes. I like that one too as I like all the veggies.
Coreen, I see you have stopped in here. I too hope your weather holds out.
So you have an idea of what CT was
like way back when there were mfg jobs for so many...yesterday the Connecticut Post had this front page story about the tearing down
of the GE bldgs in Bpt...
Please read & look at the pics...pics 2, 4, 7 remind me of when my mom worked in those bldgs...
you may remember I mentioned that my mom was vice president of the GE
union...
>a
href="http://www.ctpost.com/local/article/Brick-by-brick-massive-GE-plant-is-3357552.php#photo-2535454">Vanishing history</a/<
Try this again...
Vanishing history, brick by brick massive GE plant deconstructed
Remember Carol my family history has been tied to both the success & failure of GE over the years...
Mom still gets a 'real' pension from GE...& over the years way back
then she was smart enough to have purchased stock, so I am not definitely not anti-GE!!!....
GE corporate offices is at the bottom of the hill from my home (4 miles)...where I take those Christmas tree pics of the sister tree that GE decorates in DC every year...
Jan, have you seen any of the oscar movies...seem to recall you may have seen one or more...
Carol are you & sis going to the movies?...
My attention span works against me
sitting for 2+ hrs at a movie, so
I will have to let you guys tell me about them...
Carol, I know you have other things occupying your time, so here's some fuel for the fire...
latest liberal & main stream media complaint about romney, he has the nerve to own 4 cars!!!...
his wife drives 2 cadillac
srx's (one at each of their homes)
he drives a ford mustang & a chevy pick up truck...
Hey so what, all are American cars!!!...
& by the way the cadillac srx is a great looking crossover...I looked at the srx but being short, I would be pulling myself up into it & stretching to get out too many times in a day & would wind up hating having to do that...
Coreen, like Carol's big sis, I love movies. I can sit through a good movie - but not a bad one. 2 1/2 hrs is about my limit though. I do not go to the 3-D ones. I have tried to see as many of the movies nominated for Oscar's as I can. I have seen The Artist, War Horse, Midnight in Paris, Hugo, the Descendents. My favorites were the Descendents, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, War Horse (in that order). Although everyone is singing the praises of the Artist - I didn't care much for it.
There are some I wanted to see but are not at the theatre any longer like The Debt and The Tree of Life. We have a DVD player, but I have misplaced my cables to it. I could rent the movies and watch on my computer but I don't like to watch a movie that way.
I do like to see the movies that are nominated so I can root for my favorites.
I like the movies best that are about human interest issues. I am not into action movies. I do like psych thrillers but sometimes I worry about my heart - if it starts beating too fast - I get a little scared. I have a little heart condition - not serious - but it has to do with the electrical conduction and I don't want it to go into an arrythmia. Once in a while I have a panic attack and it starts beating too fast and I start thinking about going to the emer. room. Years ago, I had a fever with bronchitis and the doc prescribed an antibiotic I had not taken before. I fell asleep after taking the 1st dose. I woke up and my heart was beating really fast. Scared the s*** out of me. I lived close to the Med center. I jumped in my car (probably a stupid thing to do) and drove myself to the ER. Sure enough it was tachcardia and my BP was out of sight. The resident there started an IV of benadryl and you could see on the monitor my heart rate just started gradually coming down. I have never figured out if it was truly an allergic reaction to the antibiotic or if it was a panic attack and being at the hosp relieved the anxiety. I don't want to test that so I won't try that antibiotic again.
Coreen, fascinating story about the GE bldg coming down. It is great that they described how the bldg was taken apart and what they have done and are doing with the materials. Too bad about those pine floors - you would think they could remove those so they could be used again.
Interesting too how your family history is tied to GE.
My family history has been tied to American Airlines. At one time my dad, 1st husb and brother in law were employed there. Most of the people in my little town in OK worked at AA - which was only about 3 miles from the town. Now only one of my nephews works there.
Lets see guys..my family is tied to beer and BBQ? Daddy liked both.
The only movies I saw up for awards are The Help and Moneyball.
And Coreen..I bet that the GE that your family was involved with is nothing like the GE of today.
It makes me feel much better that someone we love is getting something out of them!
Jan..had your thyroid checked? I had mine in overdrive for 20 years and no one checked it. Remember in college my heart rate would go up to 300bpm at the drop of a hat.
I was diagnosed with a cardiac pre-excitation syndrome while in grad school and anxiety earlier in life..don't think either were my problem. I think it was my thyroid all the time.
I finally asked my Gyn to check my thyroid level and that was it. I even had a stress test once because my heart was doing tricks and my Internist.. at the time.. didn't check my thyroid.
And do you take a beta blocker? It will keep your heart from jumping into overdrive. I took them for years to keep my rate down. The cheap one I took for years and still take is atenolol.
Carol, my heart rate is in the 60's. It only goes up if I am greatly stressed or having a panic attack. I seldom have a problem with it.
I am on levothyroxine for low thyroid.
OK. Good. It's strange though that your heart rate goes up enough to make you uncomfortable..even with anxiety. You should be in good cardiac conditioning with your walking and swimming.
We're back tucked in at the camp. We rented Dolphin Tale and enjoyed it.
Earlier we went down to a local pub for a little gathering for a guy who recently died. He was my neighbor's cousin and he lived several camps down when I first bought my camp.
He rode out Rita out here and lost his roof. His camp was pretty rickety before the hurricane. I'd have been nervous in it during a thunderstorm. I was scared in a concrete and steel building during the hurricane.
He continued to live in his camp..with only one of those blue roofs for years. A blue roof is just a big piece of plastic. The place was so beat up that he finally had to move in with my neighbor/his cousin. He moved back into town a couple of years ago.
He died of lung cancer a couple of weeks ago. He never would go to the doctor..and when he finally did..it was too late.
We left stuff at the house..just in case. I told sis to think of our places as just one house with a verrry long breezeway.
If it was summer..we'd probably be staying there. Sis likes to swim.
Guys..this is a phenomena that occurs every time my sis comes to visit. I think I might have mentioned it before. I've never seen anything like it and I'm not sure what to do about it.
When sis comes over..Maggie sleeps with her. Everything seemed to be OK this time.. while we were sharing a room but the moment I moved out..Maggie won't let me back into her bedroom. She's like a dog protecting a bone from another dog. She's growling and showing teeth to ME..her loving mama. The mama who cooks her fresh food and hasn't left her to go on vacation. It doesn't make a bit of sense.
I try not to show it but it breaks my heart. It bothers big sis also. She feels for me. She tries to come up with excuses but they don't help.
I tried dealing with it in a couple of ways..first ignoring it..then..trying to fuss at her. The fussing made it worse. I think I'd have to damage her to stop it and that's not worth it.
I'm not sure if I need to consult a doggy shrink or an exorcist. I do have some Holy water that Mary..my sister..brought back from Mexico. It's in a plastic "Mary"..not my sister..bottle. I wonder if it has an expiration date? And..I wonder if my comments about the Catholic church would dampen it's effectiveness?
Anyone have a thought here? I could use Ivy..and her doggy psychology advice even though the.. give a doggy treat when it's thundering... didn't work. Maggie can be a hard core case. I'm kinda thinking I may have gotten a psychotic dog this time. I'm not sure what kind of trauma she might have endured before I got her.
When my sister has locked her out of her room..she reluctantly comes back to me. Yeah..like I want to be a second and final choice. We can't lock her out right now because I have the heater in my room and it's cold outside.
I've thought that maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me to break my addiction to that dog but would you reject your child if they treated you like sh--? I doubt it.
It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today. We haven't had one of those in a while.
I'm certainly glad I didn't incubate a child for 9 months..then raise them for years..and have them turn on me like Maggie has.
I do think about that often with the inmates I treat. If I can get a dig in for their parents or grandparents..I do. If I had a nickel for how many times I've said..I bet your mama or granny is crying right now. I can see some guilt.. when I say that..in some of them. I try not to use that line if I think they are beyond feeling guilt. Not gonna waste it on a psychopath.
Even though I never had any kids of my own..I've tried to help raise thousands of kids. First it was all my nursing students..now..all my inmates. And I got to skip the painful birthing process..all those diapers and many other unpleasant tasks. Missed out on lots and lots of wonderful times also.
In life..I don't think we get to skip out on certain developmental tasks. If you don't have your own kids..God will throw some at you..some that might not be so pleasant to raise.
Most of my nursing students were pleasant. The other day we were at Walmart and behind me in line was one of my x-nursing students. It had been a while. She hugged me and told me how much I meant to her and other students. I needed that.
She had done some wonderful things with her career. I felt like a proud mama.
Yes..it was one way I met that procreation need. I have passed down a part of myself to many..many who made me very proud.
I think I did put a little extra into my students. I don't think I coulda done that if I had my own kids. I woulda been too exhausted. Everything does happen for a reason. It takes looking back..in retrospect to see it.
When I was going thru hell back when mama was dying and writing my story..I later would look back at some hellacious experiences and see some little miracles wrapped up in them. I might not have seen them if I hadn't written about them. You have to focus on something to write about it. You have to ponder it hard.
It's important to ponder our experiences. There is something to learn in everyone of them...especially that crappy ones. If you don't learn that lesson..you're destined to repeat it. I never did want to fail a class.
Well...that's your Sunday school lesson for today.
I was sitting on my couch eating my toasted whole grain wheat bread.. 4 grated cheese..fresh spinach and bacon open face sandwich. Guess who is sitting next to me acting like my best friend?? Yep..Maggie. I looked at her and said..it's a little shallow..this new found love. I'm not buying it. Doesn't fool me one bit. Then I gave her a bite of bacon. I'm a sucker alright.
Carol, dogs are pack animals and they follow the Alpha. Your big sis is the alpha when she is around. Dogs protect the alpha. If you think about it, she is your older sister and obviously there is something in your relationship with her that you also view her as the alpha and Maggie picks up on that.
As far as Maggie is concerned, please don't take it personally, Maggie cannot help it. Does she act that way around anyone else?
Good morning...& a very good sign...Maggie is back to her old self...the universe must be back
in sync...& the river, has it retreated as well...
Was going to ask...does sis use
a particular perfume/soap/lotion that Maggie reacts too..
Glad to hear you are having a nice
day down there...it looks nice here, but its pretty chilly...breezy & sunny...30s but feels like its in the teens...but no snow!!!....
Those big winds that they threatened us with yesterday, apparently not so bad...reported gusts were up to 30+, but not the 50s they were saying...still windy today but not terrible...
Dang Jan..your right! Thank you so much. I don't know why I didn't think of that. I guess I'm too close to the situation.
Big sis is definitely the alpha. No doubt about it. She won't admit it but we were talking about that the other day. I do yield to her.. perceived.. superiority. She poo pooed that.
You have now achieved the position of doggy psychologist here. Probably people also.
And thanks to your analysis..I feel so much better. I'm no longer threatened by Maggie's behavior. I don't feel sad anymore. Maggie was just doing what was innate for her species. She couldn't help it. And she's not psychotic..phew!
And Jan..why didn't you tell me this sooner. I've been stressing over this every time sis comes over. You'd think that I might have recognized this myself..but noooo.
Catch up of some other news...the world keeps going on regardless of the political class infighting...
More people graduating from college with bachelor's degrees...
Census finds bachelors degrees at record level
Coreen..I've been watching your winds closely and if they got up to what they were predicting..I missed it. But thank God they didn't. They are waiting for your generator to come online.
Weather prediction has been crap lately...same with river level prediction.
And Coreen..people now need a master's degree in business just to collect money at Mickey D's drive thru window.
I've had to leave politics behind for a week now. I'm sure you're relieved. Even if I hadn't been preoccupied with more important matters...I don't think I could have handled it. It's just the same old..same old. Which is...totally ridiculous. I feel sorry for the pundits who have to pretend that it is significant. Only that dumb Chuck Todd can do that with a straight face...ugly face at that.
Even Craig seemed so relieved that he can change the subject to the Academy Awards for a short short.
And Jan..the only thing that can override that alpha dog influence is...bacon mama.
Carol, I see I posted that comment twice about the alpha. Sorry about that. Sometimes my finger gets pretty heavy - kinda like the foot on the gas pedal. LOL
I would have told you that earlier if I had thought of it. oh well! I was real concerned when you were feeling so sad about Maggie.
Carol, We are getting close to 200 comments. Why don't you find some more pics of your SF and/or the country out there. I would love to see some of them. Or you could scan some pics of your mom and sisters and you all together. I would love to see some of those. I love old pics.
Coreen, that goes for you too. I loved the pic of you with your car and on the merry go round.
Jan..we still have 41 comment spaces left..well 40 after this comment goes in.
I don't have time to put up a new post. Most of my Pa pics are not on my computer. I could scan them in at some time on that thingy Mary gave me. The one that Coreen recommended as a gift a couple of years ago.
We are now on Academy watch..any and everything Academy. One thing Alpha Dog insisted on before she came and I'm cool with. From now on we will refer to big sis as (AD).
As I was busting it in the kitchen.. cooking up Academy dinner..I shouted up to AD.. up in the big room..am I now considered "The Help". I'm not sure that she found that amusing..I did. Maybe..from now on we can call me..TH.
Carol, did not mean "new post" until 200 comments. Just wanted to suggest a new one. You will see AA's one hour before us.
I know Jan but we could go over if we blog the Awards. If so..and Coreen hasn't put up anything..then I'll put up a space saver.
Coreen..are you watching the Awards?
Jan..I'm so glad you figured out Maggie's problem. Now I really feel sympathy for her. I bet she's conflicted about it. She didn't even eat much for the first several days that AD was here. Wasn't exactly sure why except that we were stressing. Also moving back to the house may have stressed her.
I will certainly cut her some slack. Like I don't already.
Red Carpet sightings...
most of the gowns are beautiful, didn't see a real horrible dress,
Stacy Keebler, George Clooney's latest..the most glamorous
golden gown...no idea if the 'critics' will agree but its a knockout...
Michelle Williams actress who plays Marilyn Monroe in a coral (looks like backless) adorable gown...
Glen Close in a stapless black? with a fitted jacket looked great
Carmen Diaz beige strapless flared
bottom w/shimmer...loved it..
My cuz said she liked JLos white
gown, but me not so much...
She agreed that Clooney's Stacy Keebler's gown was exquisite...
And the actress from the Help, jessica chastain?in a black/gold
embroidered strapless...really pretty...
Tina Fey & Kelly Ripa, Sandra Bullock, Meryl Streep...was not impressed with their gowns...
Several others were pretty loved the strapless, sequined gowns...
Now time for Billy Crystal....then
who knows...a long night...
Angalina Jolie is so skinny - I wonder if she has an eating disorder.
I think J'Lo had too much breast showing. I swear I thought I saw part of a nipple.
I also thought it was weird how Angelina stuck out that one - not really great looking - leg when the camera came her way.
I liked the commercials of Ellen for JCP. Cool!
I think Billy Crystal is doing a good job of MC'ing.
I read that Martin Scorcese's daughter asked him why he didn't make a movie she could see - voila - Hugo. It was an amazing movie, no adult language and no sexual scenes. good for him. I see his daughter is with him in the audience. It is great to see that a movie like that can win Oscars.
Jan..Jolie did the same thing when she presented and it looked dumb. I guess she wanted everyone to see her leg...vanity..turn off.
They're live chatting the Oscars on TM. They are very critical of Billy C. Me..I don't know.
I came to bed to finish watching the awards and left AD in the living room. Maggie keeps running from that room to my bedroom. She lays on her pillow for a minute then jumps off and runs back to the other room. She is really torn between her duties to AD and her love of bacon mama.
poor little Maggie.
I am taping Jimmy Kimmel to see what people say about the oscars. Off to bed.
I have to get some new cables for my DVD player so I can rent some of the movies I did not see that were nominated.
I was disappointed that the African Amer. woman did not get the oscar for best actress - in the Help. I think Meryl Streep is amazing but...
Well..it seems that 4a is my new wake up time. I did fall asleep earlier than usual..probably close to 11p.
Five hours..that's pretty good sleep for me. It was solid.
I just realized that it's Monday. Dang it. I was thinking it was Sunday until just now. Ugh.
I've now inherited a second job..maybe it's actually a 3rd job. I was already overwhelmed by the other jobs.
Good thing we found this bookkeeper for Pa. You might remember me talking about her. She is an angel. She part lawyer..part cowboy..and part bookkeeper...everything I'm gonna need. She was/is a Godsend. I don't trust anyone but from the moment I met her my intuition said..good soul.
Jan..your revelation to me about AD did get me to doing some heavy pondering yesterday.
There was never any doubt that big sis was the Alpha dog of the siblings. She always denies it but now..that a dog identified it..there's no denying it.
I'm actually the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to power. Twin comes in second. She can manipulate me either by yelling or putting it in cry mode.
Big sis is aggressive.. and twin..passive aggressive..me..sucker.
Mom and Pa treated me like their favorite but only because I was the easiest to manipulate. It took me a while to realize that. I was the suck up. They both had me jumping and running.. to please them. Most of it was stuff I did enjoy doing but some of it wasn't.
My hyperthyroidism helped. I bet I even developed that disease because I needed it. I realized that also. Mom used to tell me... all the time.. sit down and relax. Yeah..like I ever had time to do that.
I ran into the guy from the hood yesterday. He's the party guy in the hood. He also lives on the part of the road where the water.. going over the road.. is the deepest. I asked him if he knew just how deep it got during the floods. He said a little over 2 ft over his road.
That would have definitely been too deep to pass. I measured from the ground to my truck door and it was about 18 inches. Good dang thing I evacuated.
AD closed off her bedroom last night. Mostly to keep any TV noise from my room from disturbing her but it kept Maggie in here with me. Maggie wasn't distressed about it. She seemed relieved that she wasn't on guard duty.
Fortunately it wasn't cold because sis's only heat comes from my room. It's only 58 outside now.
We have a chance of rain every day this week..30 today then 30 30 40 20. All it will have to do to send the river back up is to get a couple of inches of rain. But..the house is ready and waiting. I even left food there.
Somehow the Oscars show never seems to hold an audience anymore, like its really only an insider event...
didn't dislike billy crystal, thought he was ok...those that whined about the show...well, just that whining..its a tough job, when was the last
time a host was given good not even 'rave' reviews...thought he was the comfortable choice, got the job done...
how fast everyone forgets...didn't just about everyone hate last years host...james franco & I remember that David Letterman was trashed the 1 time he did it...its just a tough job...
again I give thanks to that little
invention 'the remote' & glad I didn't pass on the celeb apprentice (Carol, I know you don't think much of trump & his shtick)...but you want reality, infighting, gee almost like politics...can't beat it...much like my other gulity pleasure...Mob Wives...
Seems the fashion beats the show everytime anyway...
As far as Angelina Jolie, she has looked anorexic for quite some time...the last time she looked
healthy was in her Lara Croft Tomb
Raiders movies...
And what's with Brad Pitt's hair, looks like he gave up washing it....& styling it...
The Jlo reveal? did it happen or not...don't really know...when she & Cameron Diaz presented an award as they turned back from showing their rears...could have...
Still thought Clooney's girl's golden gown was the best...& I did
like Cameron Diaz gown as well...
I am concerned about Angelina J. She just does not look healthy to me. Her face reminds me of my GD who has the eating disorder. When the bone structure in their face is so evident at that young an age, I think it is a dead giveaway. Her arms were so thin too. She just looks downright unhealthy. She has always been pale too but now looks anemic.
I agree Coreen, what is going on with Brad Pitt. He does look very unkempt. His hair was gross-looking. In this day and age, if you cannot find time to wash your hair, cut it off - for heaven's sake.
I think some of the stars are just trying too hard such as Angelina and J-Lo.
I thought Sandra Bullock looked good. Her gown was understated - not showing much skin. Good for her.
Carol, just reading what you said about your sibs and you. I think we each compare ourselves with our sibs especially the same sex ones. I did that for years too, especially when my parents were alive. Now, I just accept my sis for who she is and I try and accept myself for who I am - we are vastly different. I think that is one of the tasks of kids in a family - to differentiate ourselves from our sibs. Now that my parents are dead, we are not competing for their attention.
I am envious of John and his relationships with his sis and bro. They are very close to each other. His bro calls John every day and they just talk for about 2-3 mins just to stay in touch about the days events. When we go to AR, the 3 of them get together with some of their kids and they are all so kind to each other. They do have property together too - so there are financial interests.
So glad you moved to your house earlier Carol. It is good that no one else was living in your house too. Better keep it while you have the camp. It seems that this is the first time since you have been on the blog that the flooding has forced you to move out.
Coreen, I agree -No matter who MC's the Academy Awards, they are criticized. I think Billy did as well as anyone can do with the job.
I have never thought of watching celebrity apprentice. I will check it out.
This is something I have discussed here. If you don't want to know the truth..don't listen.
Treating Depression: Is there a placebo effect?
Sis rented the Beginners to watch tonight. We're watching it and sis doesn't want me to look away. Nahhh..no AD there.
This is going on my 40th year of practicing nursing. It wasn't my choice for a career..it was mom's but I made the best of it. One thing about nursing is that you have a lot of choices.. for what you can do.. and I hit a good many of those choices over the last 40 years.
I started out as a nurse's aide. Took a nurse's aid course at one of our local hospitals the summer before I started college and I worked that summer doing that. I learned my profession from the bottom up. It was really a hoot working with the other nurse's aides that summer. They are some of the unsung heroes in the nursing profession.
My first job was opening and working in the first ICU/CCU..in one of our local hospitals. As a nurse there..you have just about all the nurse's roles. You do total patient care. I liked that and the fact that we had all that equipment to give input on our patient's status...didn't have to guess.
It was a stressful job and I took it very seriously. Staffing in the unit was pretty pitiful at times..like what we see in nursing so often over the years. I remember one day..I had only an orderly to help out with 7 intensive care patients. That was it! I wouldn't let him do anything but help me move patients.
I'd been there two years at that time. I took every work day home with me and replayed the tapes of it all night long...thinking..was there anything I coulda done better? Wore me slap dab out.
It was then that Jan started talking me into trying teaching. She was already working at the university where we got our degrees. I thought..me..a teacher?? I was never that good a student. Jan was a good student and after I hooked up with her.. at the end of our sophomore year.. she taught me how to be a better student.
I think that teaching did turn out to be my niche. Maybe it was because it also met my procreation needs. I don't know.
The only thing that finally pushed me away from teaching was that I was finally tired of making no money and having to work a second job just to make ends meet. Teaching is better suited for someone who has a husband to supplement their income...and who could find a husband when you had to spend every waking hour working to make ends meet.
I will have to admit that my experiences..working in all my moonlighting jobs..did provide me with some very interesting material for my lectures. How many other nursing profs can add material on the effects of fluid and electrolyte imbalance by discussing what can happen to horse racing jockeys who use too many diuretics..spend too much time in the sweat box.. avoid drinking any water and then try to hang on to their mounts. It drove the point home..if you get my drift.
That was one of my moonlighting jobs...race track nurse. The race track was just down the road from where mom and Pa lived. For a year and a half I was the track nurse.. Thursday thru Sunday.. every other weekend.
One of my fellow faculty friends and I would go to the race track every so often and we met a nurse working there who said there was a position open. It was a hoot of a job for about a year and a half.
I'll let you in on a little secret..I was always more concerned with the horses than the people. When the people got hurt I patched them and they went to the hospital. When the horses got hurt..they were destroyed. Did a lot of crying about that. I was real torn when both species were involved in an accident.
Well..to get to the point of my ponder this morning..one sad thing that I learned over these last forty years is..that you get no respect for busting you ass to do your job well. In fact..the harder you work..the less respect you get. It is the one of the most consistent thing I've learned in my last forty years.
I think that maybe the only time they do respect you is after you leave and it takes 5 people to replace you. I'm not really sure about that though..I've never been there to see it. And I kinda doubt that also.
I gotta call yesterday afternoon while I'm sitting in an attorney's office working on Pa stuff. It was from one of the big bosses at the joint..not my boss. I told him I was in my attorney's office. Did he care? No..he kept talking. It wasn't even that important what he was talking about. I told him that my stepfather died last week and he said.."oh".
I'm really getting close guys. I've been at this job for almost 7 years..without one single real day off. Do they respect me for that?
Absolutely not. They have more respect for a perv's granny who calls to complain that sonny boy has a headache and he just got up at noon..from his nap.. and called her. She wants something done about it..now.. or she'll call the sheriff. That gets their attention. That gets their respect.
I took the day off to get to important Pa business. He left me with another job. He put me in charge. He trusted me to do it. It's another full time job and I'm old and worn out but..I gotta do it. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it.
Will I actually be off from my other job today?? No.
Another little phenomena I have observed over the years and you guys tell me if you have ever noticed this.
There's an employee who does the least he/she can get by with. They hit about 50% everyday and and it's a good day when they do that much. One day..outta the blue..they actually put in their 100% effort for the day. Everyone goes overboard praising that person for the effort.
You coulda been putting in 200+% every day and one day you hit 50%..maybe cuz you knocked out three vertebrae or had a heart attack. Then they look at you like..what kind of slouch are you.
Have you ever seen it?
Another phenomena is when you have a family with one female child and the rest brothers. The parents get old and it's the female who is designated caregiver. The males get more respect but the female gets all the work.
Another is when you have one old maid child in the family. The other siblings have a husband and children. Guess who gets the work?? You only get one guess.
You may find this clever or not...
posted on facebook by Mark Simone
a NY (Wabc)radio show host who I listen to...
The World for Dummies
In case you missed today's announcement...the 2012 DWTS group
My personal favs Gladys Knight (minus the Pips), Jack Wagner (he was Frisco on General Hospital before anything else) Martina Navritilova(though Chris Evert was my fav when they played)...
the rest I really don't know....
Dancing with the stars 2012
Coreen..the first link you posted came up.."Unavailable" Maybe you can try again.
I looked over the DWTS list and you know the same ones I know. Hmmm.
Coreen..do you have any pics of your spiffy vehicle to post. I'm too whipped to find anything right now.
Coreen..we went to eat at a Chinese restaurant today for lunch. The fortune in my cookie read..."Don't wait for your ship to come in; swim out to it." I looked around to see if you were there and slipped that in my cookie. It does sound like advice you often give me.
OK, I put up a new post with my car & the generator insallation
for you to look over...
Coreen, I read the site you posted about the fisker Karma car. You are right - that is bad Karma to break down in the middle of a Consumer's test.
And the Gov't gave Fisker $500,000 to build that car.
what a laugh. I think just naming a car Karma is "jinksing" it.
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